wish4someday

Long, long, long story short. . . my husband has been drinking heavily for the past 5 years. Just in the past year or so, it has gotten extreme where he gets drunk round the clock if he's not working (from what I know). His drinking never interrupted his work. . . until 3 weeks ago. Three weeks ago, he just stopped going to work, stopped getting out of bed unless it was to get alcohol and stopped eating. Obviously he got fired. A miracle happened and he decided one day that he wanted to stop drinking but he would do it on his own. It lasted for 4 days. He went into another 2 week binge and finally suggested that he needed to go to the hospital to detox after going through 2 days of bad withdrawal symptoms. This was on Monday night around midnight.

Monday night around midnight was hopefully the end of his drinking binges. He was released from the hospital today (Friday) around noon. I continue to pray to God that this continues but now I struggle with trying to live with him like this. I learned how to live with him drinking but now I don't know to live with him sober and recovering. I asked him what he thought he was going to next and all he could do was yell at me for always nagging him. I've found him very short with me, very irritable, very accusing, very paranoid and like I have to walk on pins and needles so I don't set him off. I do understand he's been through a lot. I just don't know how to handle this type of behavior. I try to be supportive but he takes it as nagging. He won't go to marriage counseling with me and I feel my hands are tied.

Does anyone have any advice?

cwohio

welcome to SR - you will find lots of wonderful folks here - read all you can on this site about the disease. you will learn the 3 C's - you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. check into al-anon in your area - you can find meetings by doing a search on the web. al-anon will help YOU learn to change YOUR behaviors and how you interact with the A in your life. we that live with someone that has the disease need to learn how we may sometimes contribute to the chaos it causes by certain behaviors we have. i pray your hubby will get into some kind of program because just stopping the drinking is one part of recovery. come back often and vent, ask questions. we'll be here to listen and support each other. i too have an AH (alcoholic husband).

hugs - chris

FormerDoormat

Hi Wish:

I can't say that I know what you're going through, as my former AB never reached sobriety and never went through withdrawal. I'm sure it's a horrible thing to go through. Still, it doesn't make it any easier on you knowing that he's suffering so and that he can't help the way he's acting. You said that your husband isn't willing to go to counseling, well have you considered going alone? Alanon would help, too.

You can't help your husband overcome his alcohol addiction, but you can help YOU.

Here's hoping all your wishes come true.

nocellphone

Please, please, please... give Al-Anon a try. It's free, it's confidential, and it's only purpose is to provide comfort to families of alcoholics.

My guess is that you can find some answers there...