The rate of progression

Old 06-07-2005, 08:16 AM
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Godblessu
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The rate of progression

My AH relapsed in Oct 2002 after being sober for 12 years. His drinking went from once a month to every other day now. He hit the bar right after work. He is progressively worsen too. He used to be able to take a shower before going to sleep after night of drinking. Now he came home so drunk, couldn't take a shower, goes to bed smelling so bad. He spend on average $500 a month on drinking. Last month he spent $1000. He is still functioning such as has not missed a day of work, although alcohol has impared his memory and attitude. I like to educate myself on the rate of progression of this disease. Can anyone enlighten me on this subject. It is painfull as it is to watch him deteriorate. I guess I just have to prepare for the worse while at the same time keeping my peace and serenity.

Thanks for reading.. I am taking it a day at a time.
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Old 06-07-2005, 08:23 AM
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Hi GB,

Welcome to SR. The disease of alcoholism is a progressive disease..when they start drinking again, it is like they never stopped..

Have you tried Alanon? I'm sure there are meetings in Singapore..It can help you understand more about the disease of alcoholism and also give you some relief..

keep reading and hang in there!

Minx
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Old 06-07-2005, 08:30 AM
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Welcome GB

We are happy you found us and Im so sorry for what your going through.

Stick around there are many wonderful people here to help and listen. I cant answer your questions but soon someone will be along who can.
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Old 06-07-2005, 08:41 AM
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Yeah...

It's common knowledge in the Program that those that go back out land just a few steps short of where they were when they started recovery... and are soon back in the destructive race to seemingly do themselves in.


It's hell on the person... and it's hell on those that have to watch and share in the consequences of their disease.

This is a very good place to get help and support though... and a face to face Alanon meeting can be very cathartic as well as one see's their not alone with that insanity in their lives...


Glad you found Sober Recovery... ;o)
I hope you find some answers and relief here.
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Old 06-07-2005, 08:42 AM
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My husband quit for 7 and has been back at it for 3 years. He used to drink every now and then or on the weekends, but this last year he has really changed. He is drinking almost daily. I would get mad and have a fit and that would stop him for maybe 3 days or so and then he would drink again. I quit yelling and he goes to the bar daily. It is beer and he comes home and he used to take a shower, but now he does not even change his clothes. He has come in the door and only made it to the couch. Sleeping in his boots with his coat on. He knows he cannot afford to drink whiskey, so he is drinking beer. When he drinks whiskey, I think it scares him how he feels, so he only does that very rarely. I can control the spending some because I work too. I am taking care of me because somebody has to be here for the kids. He is going down. When, I do not know, but he is changing in body and mind. Only hope I have is that he will stop before it is too late. I have found out that when he goes to the bar and I do not say anything about it that day or the next, then he starts talking like he is going to quit. No fun, if I am not upset. We visited with his family over the weekend and he drank beer in front of me and I never said a word. I was nice and happy as could be. When we got home I just went on and did what I needed to do and actually forgot about him and was doing other things. He said he was going to the bar and off he went. No yelling or anything. He came home and I was as nice as pie to him. This morning he is talking about starting an exercise program, but I have heard this before. When nobody is worried about him or talking about his drinking then he does not want to do it. I reread my post here and I am not doing it just for my kids. I am tired of being tired and I am tired of being sad, so I am doing it for me too. Sorry you are having to go through this.
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Old 06-07-2005, 01:39 PM
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My husband has relapsed twice after almost 2 years of sobriety each time. And in both cases, the very day he started drinking again was just as bad as the last day he drank before his temporary sobriety. It was as if he had never been sober at all. It is very sad and very frightening. It has been just over a year since he last relapsed and he has been drinking almost daily. The progression of the disease in the last year alone is staggering. He is a very different person. Someone I don't really want to know anymore. It has been a long time since he was a "functioning" alcoholic. In his case, the progression has been fairly quick. If something does not change soon, he will surely be dead within a couple of years. So sad. I hate this disease and am sorry for all of us that are going through this!
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Old 06-07-2005, 01:58 PM
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I think the post I read called "The long goodbye" by gmb described it best. It was posted on 6-4-2005 if you are interested in reading it. Take care of yourself.
Love, Patty
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Old 06-07-2005, 02:38 PM
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I had also noticed extreme progression in x-abf. Either that or I have changed, and my thinking is a little more healthy.

Maybe I choose to ignore it; but I never realized how progressive this disease is; its so sad and scary at the same time. Glad I'm not around him anymore to watch his life go down the drain!!
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Old 06-07-2005, 03:18 PM
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Hey GB, as a sober alcoholic I'm curious to know if the ah spent the 12 yrs "dry" or sober? "Dry" is when a person just "white knuckles" and doesn't pick up a drink--but have not peace, no psychic change as a result of working steps. Those who find sobriety in a 12 step program such as AA find a spiritual path which cannot be forgotten when they relapse. Can you tell us a little more? Blessings, Queenshenique
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Old 06-07-2005, 04:45 PM
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Godblessu
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Thanks for replying. I have attended Alanon meeting twice. What a great fellowship. After attended just one meeting, I learned to find peace and take care of myself and my two little girls, age 3 and 1. I wished I could have found Alanon a lot sooner before I wasted my energy trying to change him which only resulted in pain, heartache, worry, fear, obsession and other stuff that goes along with it. Through Alanon, I learned more about the disease itself. It has been so long since I experienced peace and serenety...I almost forgot what it feels like. Now, I am own my path to recovery and it is great to feel peace again.
To brightlight - My A also found it no fun since I do not bother with his drinking anymore. He still tried to provoke my reaction, but i just ignore it. Last night, we went home drunk and woke me up cause he wanted to interact with me. I ignored him and he left me alone after a while. This morning, I said good morning to him and didn't asked him about last night at all and he didn't mentioned it either.
To Queenshenique - My A found sobriety through AA. I would said he wasnot a dry drunk although he does get depressed every so often. He was sober for 5 years before I met him. He told me about his spiritual path long time ago when he was in AA. You wrote that the spiritual path cannot be forgotten when they relapse. Can you explain more about this? Did my A just completely forgot about it? As a sober alcoholic, what is your take on what does happened to spiritual awakening when an A relapse. Thanks
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Old 06-12-2005, 10:05 PM
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Alcohol picks up where it leaves off. Often when peopel start back, the drinking is worse as you are now seeing. Wow, $1000 is a lot to spend on liquor. I am so sorry you are having to see all this. Does he show any sign of wanting to get help?
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