sad mom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Illinois
Posts: 19
sad mom
[SIZE=5]
I don't know what to do-it is complicated, but I will try and keep it short. Last year my daughter stole some checks from someone that she met and was staying with and cashed them-she went to jail for about 8 months, my husband and I wrote to her and sent money.
When it was time to get out, we said we would let her stay at our house, she was on Parole. Day 1 I took her for jobs (waitressing), Day 2 she left the house and went to this bar by our house and never came back, she was staying where she could (never called us). Well, she stole some money from this guy and he called here and emailed her to work something out so he would not have to go to the police. Next thing I know she is in Arizona and got picked up for a bad check or something.
We know this because my husband's mom and dad live there. My husband is her step father and we think she was going to go to his parents house and try and take money or something from them. The social worker called his mom.
Now we get a letter asking for money until she goes on work release-telling me she is my daughter and I can't not bother with her. I do want to send only $10 and a LONG letter-I do want want to get caught up in this. I love her but I can not even trust her.
Any suggestions? It breaks my heart.
I don't know what to do-it is complicated, but I will try and keep it short. Last year my daughter stole some checks from someone that she met and was staying with and cashed them-she went to jail for about 8 months, my husband and I wrote to her and sent money.
When it was time to get out, we said we would let her stay at our house, she was on Parole. Day 1 I took her for jobs (waitressing), Day 2 she left the house and went to this bar by our house and never came back, she was staying where she could (never called us). Well, she stole some money from this guy and he called here and emailed her to work something out so he would not have to go to the police. Next thing I know she is in Arizona and got picked up for a bad check or something.
We know this because my husband's mom and dad live there. My husband is her step father and we think she was going to go to his parents house and try and take money or something from them. The social worker called his mom.
Now we get a letter asking for money until she goes on work release-telling me she is my daughter and I can't not bother with her. I do want to send only $10 and a LONG letter-I do want want to get caught up in this. I love her but I can not even trust her.
Any suggestions? It breaks my heart.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Wow that one has to hurt... My daughter is only 15 and I cant even imagine.
The only thing I can offer on this one is a story about my sister. She too had tons of issues, from children to money problems to being an A and doing drugs, losing custody of her 4 children (supervised visitation) etc... My Mom would always bail her out and the behavior always continued. Well she ended up in Jail for 9 months cuz of 4 DUIs in about 3 years... she got 2 DUIs in one night if you can believe that one. To make a long story short, My Mom died a year ago last March..... my sister has never done better in her life.
She is now working her way back from her bottom...
My prayers are with you no matter what you decide... Just remember you did not cause it, you can not control it and you can not fix it....
The only thing I can offer on this one is a story about my sister. She too had tons of issues, from children to money problems to being an A and doing drugs, losing custody of her 4 children (supervised visitation) etc... My Mom would always bail her out and the behavior always continued. Well she ended up in Jail for 9 months cuz of 4 DUIs in about 3 years... she got 2 DUIs in one night if you can believe that one. To make a long story short, My Mom died a year ago last March..... my sister has never done better in her life.
She is now working her way back from her bottom...
My prayers are with you no matter what you decide... Just remember you did not cause it, you can not control it and you can not fix it....
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
I have no idea what to say but I would suggest thinking about ways to protect you and your husband from her terrible actions.
Let her earn that trust that is lost and try not to be so vulnerable to her antics anymore. This is hard because you love her but very necessary for you and her.
*hugs*
~Def
Let her earn that trust that is lost and try not to be so vulnerable to her antics anymore. This is hard because you love her but very necessary for you and her.
*hugs*
~Def
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I know how
painful her actions are to you and your family. I have 2 adult childen with all the problems from their various addictions. Hospitals Jails Hot Checks Rehabs Prison and the list goes on.
I quit after about 10 years. No more help for any reason.
I saved ny sanity and turned them over to God.
No matter what I did I always felt guilty until I left the outcome up to Him.
I quit after about 10 years. No more help for any reason.
I saved ny sanity and turned them over to God.
No matter what I did I always felt guilty until I left the outcome up to Him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Illinois
Posts: 19
Thank you everyone for replying. I am sad and I do feel bad, but we gave her a chance and she blew it. Plus after blowing it, she still did not call or even say I'm sorry and will try to do better.
Am I not dealing with a semi-normal person??
But thanks for words.
Am I not dealing with a semi-normal person??
But thanks for words.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
