Advice and Help Needed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 34
Advice and Help Needed
Need some advice…and help or kind words
A little background. I have lurked on this board so much and have gotten so much growth information about taking care of myself that I have really put into practice. A little background I have been married to an alcoholic/former drug user for 12 years, but we have been together for 17. He drinks daily. I will try to condense the story - as well as give you background we have 2 children aged 16 and 9. We have been through a myriad of problems, him not being supportive of me and my family problems, my mom and dad both drug addicts and alcholics. His mother is also a raging alcoholic, this past weekend she went over the deep end. I had planned a barbaque with friends and I did not want her to come, as she always gets drunk and embarrasses the hell out of us. My husband decided to bring her to spend the night, without telling me that she was coming on Sunday Saturday, I spend all day at her house helping her clean up, taking things over to my house so that she could be more comfortable, all the while she was drinking like crazy. I did not want to be bothered with her anymore that weekend. When they came over, I was upset, but being the true codependant that I am just tried to make the best of it. I responded when spoken too, but was really kind of quiet because I was drained already from her on Saturday. She apparently did not like my attitude and starts a big fight. My husband took her side, yet again. She said some really nasty things to me, threatened to embarrass me in front of my friends (at the barbaque, they were all my friends, my husband and his nasty attitude - he has no friends). I lost it. I told him and her off. She started drinking early Monday morning, she had to be forced out of the house on Monday and I ended up cancelling the barbaque. This happens every single holiday with both my husband and her drinking and acting obnoxious. I said all that to say is that I finally think I have enough courage to go. My husband is an alcholic, my mother in law is, my parents was. I am tired of dealing with addictions and I need peace. My chest hurts now from the stress. My dilema is that we own a house together. I feel as though I need to finally make a move now or I will never. My husband will be nasty, it will get very, very ugly. He will not leave the house. But the good thing is is that I don't want it.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
I am also at the point where I don't care if it goes into foreclosure. My peace of mind has to be worth more than this. I am drafting him a letter of my intent to move and for us to decide when to sell the house. I will give it to him tonight. Has anyone ever just let everything go in order to have peace? This is what I am about to do and I am scared, scared of his rage, scared to move, but for the most part I am scared to keep living this way. 17 years is enough. Any advice would be appreciated. <o:p></o:p>
Thank you.<o:p></o:p>
A little background. I have lurked on this board so much and have gotten so much growth information about taking care of myself that I have really put into practice. A little background I have been married to an alcoholic/former drug user for 12 years, but we have been together for 17. He drinks daily. I will try to condense the story - as well as give you background we have 2 children aged 16 and 9. We have been through a myriad of problems, him not being supportive of me and my family problems, my mom and dad both drug addicts and alcholics. His mother is also a raging alcoholic, this past weekend she went over the deep end. I had planned a barbaque with friends and I did not want her to come, as she always gets drunk and embarrasses the hell out of us. My husband decided to bring her to spend the night, without telling me that she was coming on Sunday Saturday, I spend all day at her house helping her clean up, taking things over to my house so that she could be more comfortable, all the while she was drinking like crazy. I did not want to be bothered with her anymore that weekend. When they came over, I was upset, but being the true codependant that I am just tried to make the best of it. I responded when spoken too, but was really kind of quiet because I was drained already from her on Saturday. She apparently did not like my attitude and starts a big fight. My husband took her side, yet again. She said some really nasty things to me, threatened to embarrass me in front of my friends (at the barbaque, they were all my friends, my husband and his nasty attitude - he has no friends). I lost it. I told him and her off. She started drinking early Monday morning, she had to be forced out of the house on Monday and I ended up cancelling the barbaque. This happens every single holiday with both my husband and her drinking and acting obnoxious. I said all that to say is that I finally think I have enough courage to go. My husband is an alcholic, my mother in law is, my parents was. I am tired of dealing with addictions and I need peace. My chest hurts now from the stress. My dilema is that we own a house together. I feel as though I need to finally make a move now or I will never. My husband will be nasty, it will get very, very ugly. He will not leave the house. But the good thing is is that I don't want it.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
I am also at the point where I don't care if it goes into foreclosure. My peace of mind has to be worth more than this. I am drafting him a letter of my intent to move and for us to decide when to sell the house. I will give it to him tonight. Has anyone ever just let everything go in order to have peace? This is what I am about to do and I am scared, scared of his rage, scared to move, but for the most part I am scared to keep living this way. 17 years is enough. Any advice would be appreciated. <o:p></o:p>
Thank you.<o:p></o:p>
Binge poster
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 561
Hey
sorry I haven't anything wise to offer, just wanted to say hi and welcome. I used to be a lurker myself
You will find good stuff here.
There will be someone more experienced along in a bit to prove it, honest!
Love and hugs
Jane
xxx
sorry I haven't anything wise to offer, just wanted to say hi and welcome. I used to be a lurker myself
You will find good stuff here.
There will be someone more experienced along in a bit to prove it, honest!
Love and hugs
Jane
xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
CBB... oh yeah.. i was there. i was there and it was like it was not real. even though it was me. but you do get thru it.. you do heal. and you will be building a better life for your kids.
find a safe place to live. ask a girlfriend. mine came to my rescue like little damsels on white horses. you never know the strength of other women friends until something like that happens.
nobody needs to live in a situation that is that stressful. i lost 70 lbs when i went thru my divorce because i tried to "protect" everyone from the reality of how abusive it was.
my ex father in law used to open the drawer to the night stand every time i got mad and show me the handgun he kept in there. you are not other peoples decisions. you are not the cause of their disease, you cannot cure it and you cannot change them.
all you can change is your future.. one day at a time. they have the right to live in that kind of dysfunctional lifestyle.. but you dont have to.
you dont have to put up with anything that threatens your well being or your health. you are a gift from God, cherish yourself and make your life one of serenity and peace.
quietsins
find a safe place to live. ask a girlfriend. mine came to my rescue like little damsels on white horses. you never know the strength of other women friends until something like that happens.
nobody needs to live in a situation that is that stressful. i lost 70 lbs when i went thru my divorce because i tried to "protect" everyone from the reality of how abusive it was.
my ex father in law used to open the drawer to the night stand every time i got mad and show me the handgun he kept in there. you are not other peoples decisions. you are not the cause of their disease, you cannot cure it and you cannot change them.
all you can change is your future.. one day at a time. they have the right to live in that kind of dysfunctional lifestyle.. but you dont have to.
you dont have to put up with anything that threatens your well being or your health. you are a gift from God, cherish yourself and make your life one of serenity and peace.
quietsins
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Anaheim,CA
Posts: 549
First of all, welcome.
This site, al-anon, lots of reading and praying...they can help YOU do the things you want to do about you.
But the children, the house? You need an attorney. A GOOD one who will protect your interests. It's not up to your husband about if he moves or if he does this or doesn't. It's not up to him about selling it. It's up to the laws of your state.
"Letting go" is not the same as giving everything you have away. You owe yourself AND your children to get what is honestly yours.
Glad you decided to unengage your "cloaking device" and speak to us. There is much wisdom here...many who have been there/done that and can and will share what works and what didn't work for them.
This is not terminal. Your life CAN get better.
If you work it, it works.
This site, al-anon, lots of reading and praying...they can help YOU do the things you want to do about you.
But the children, the house? You need an attorney. A GOOD one who will protect your interests. It's not up to your husband about if he moves or if he does this or doesn't. It's not up to him about selling it. It's up to the laws of your state.
"Letting go" is not the same as giving everything you have away. You owe yourself AND your children to get what is honestly yours.
Glad you decided to unengage your "cloaking device" and speak to us. There is much wisdom here...many who have been there/done that and can and will share what works and what didn't work for them.
This is not terminal. Your life CAN get better.
If you work it, it works.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Ashland City, TN
Posts: 28
My Mom did exactly what you are doing. She walked out left everything except for personal things and started over. They already owned their house and property. My AD didn't work or have anything or money to fall back on. She kind of felt sorry for him. She has since remarried a wonderful blind man. They have a beautiful home and neither of them are alcoholics. They have been together for over 10 years. She has no regrets for what she did and would do it all over again. I'm not by any means telling you that you should do this. That's your choice!! I just wanted to share!!
Hugs,
Kim
Hugs,
Kim
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
I did it in my second marriage.
I wanted out so badly I gave him the house, car, boat all the stuff in the house except what I needed to set up an apt... Then there was no price I would have put on my peace and leaving that relationship.
Of course I paid the price for that ... 4 years after I had to file a BK because I took over 1/2 the debt and he did not follow up with his end of the bargin ... once the marriage was over it was a free for all on his part and it did not matter that he signed documents or gave me his word. I scrapped by taking care of my daughter and Im just now ... how many years later (7) begining to get to a point where I might be able to provide my daughter with a home of our own.
Do I have some regretts on how I handled it.... yeppp.... wish I had thought with my head alittle more, but as they say "this too will pass" no matter what you decided you will get through it. Sometimes Peace has a HIGH price tag... but we make those choices... and they are just that choices.
I wanted out so badly I gave him the house, car, boat all the stuff in the house except what I needed to set up an apt... Then there was no price I would have put on my peace and leaving that relationship.
Of course I paid the price for that ... 4 years after I had to file a BK because I took over 1/2 the debt and he did not follow up with his end of the bargin ... once the marriage was over it was a free for all on his part and it did not matter that he signed documents or gave me his word. I scrapped by taking care of my daughter and Im just now ... how many years later (7) begining to get to a point where I might be able to provide my daughter with a home of our own.
Do I have some regretts on how I handled it.... yeppp.... wish I had thought with my head alittle more, but as they say "this too will pass" no matter what you decided you will get through it. Sometimes Peace has a HIGH price tag... but we make those choices... and they are just that choices.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
welcome CBB
felt that way exactly but haven't done it yet. am in the process of waiting to see how and if my ah's recovery goes.
only you know when you've had enough - WTL makes a good point - with children involved especially, get in touch with an attorney.
hugs - chris
felt that way exactly but haven't done it yet. am in the process of waiting to see how and if my ah's recovery goes.
only you know when you've had enough - WTL makes a good point - with children involved especially, get in touch with an attorney.
hugs - chris
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 34
Thank you all for your responses. I am feeling better now that I posted and got some advice. Jane, thanks, I felt your sincerity though these cable lines. Quietsins, thank you, you captured just what I was feeling, I can tell you know what I am going through. Knowing that I deserve the best and am a child of God..Learning everyday. Walkingtheline - I didn't really think of protecting my own interests - Codependant again? - Just getting out and being able to breathe and live, but very good advice, I will definately heed it. Kimmy - thank you for letting me know it can be done and there can be happiness at the end of the journey. I have finished drafting my letter, it sounds a little harsh, but I can't sugar coat this any longer. I am afraid of his anger, but more afraid to live 17 more years this way. I am 35 years old and hoping that I can see my way through.
Thanks everyone.
Thanks everyone.
Remember to breathe
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 28
Ditto on the welcome - glad you are asking for help. That's a reaaally important first step...
I would echo the advice to get yourself a GOOD attorney. Ask friends you trust for a referral. Maybe take a bit of time to check it out carefully and make sure you have someone you're comfortable with. YOU HAVE RIGHTS. It is absolutely the truth that the laws of your state dictate how your joint property is disposed of in the event of a marriage dissolving, and it's NOT up to your husband (or his mother) to decide when, where, and how that happens.
It has always helped me to remember that courage is taking action in the face of fear - you took a courageous step in posting here and you can work through this. You didn't cause the alcoholism and you can't control it or cure it. You CAN, however, do what is best for you and for your kids by taking good care of yourself. And it sounds like that's what you want to do. Consider checking out some Al Anon meetings for support too - you will find people there who have been through exactly the same experience you are having now.
Best of luck to you and keep coming here for support - SR has helped me tremendously in the short time I've been here...
I would echo the advice to get yourself a GOOD attorney. Ask friends you trust for a referral. Maybe take a bit of time to check it out carefully and make sure you have someone you're comfortable with. YOU HAVE RIGHTS. It is absolutely the truth that the laws of your state dictate how your joint property is disposed of in the event of a marriage dissolving, and it's NOT up to your husband (or his mother) to decide when, where, and how that happens.
It has always helped me to remember that courage is taking action in the face of fear - you took a courageous step in posting here and you can work through this. You didn't cause the alcoholism and you can't control it or cure it. You CAN, however, do what is best for you and for your kids by taking good care of yourself. And it sounds like that's what you want to do. Consider checking out some Al Anon meetings for support too - you will find people there who have been through exactly the same experience you are having now.
Best of luck to you and keep coming here for support - SR has helped me tremendously in the short time I've been here...
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Restraint of pen and tongue come to mind.
Dont say anything in the letter that
you dont FULLY intend to live up to.
Make sure the action that you take,
matches the words on that paper!
Good luck, get an attorney and pray!
Dont say anything in the letter that
you dont FULLY intend to live up to.
Make sure the action that you take,
matches the words on that paper!
Good luck, get an attorney and pray!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 34
Thanks again for all of the responses. I do intend to follow through. Not actively involved in alanon - but will remedy that as soon as tommorow's lunch time meeting.
CYNAY - are you better now since you have left? I have lived in such turmoil that I feel as though I am just going to sufficate to death and my kids won't have anyone sane to take care of them as I have no family and his family is all alcholics. I am calling people as we speak to get a good referral on a attorney. But, I need some distance from him, his mother, his issues. I want a peaceful evening, no tensions, anticipating his needs so that I can think. I didn't realize how much I am hurting until I put all the words on paper to him. It's just absolutely devestating.
CYNAY - are you better now since you have left? I have lived in such turmoil that I feel as though I am just going to sufficate to death and my kids won't have anyone sane to take care of them as I have no family and his family is all alcholics. I am calling people as we speak to get a good referral on a attorney. But, I need some distance from him, his mother, his issues. I want a peaceful evening, no tensions, anticipating his needs so that I can think. I didn't realize how much I am hurting until I put all the words on paper to him. It's just absolutely devestating.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
CBB.... advice on an attorney.... ask your girlfriends who they recommend. especially anyone who has gone thru a messy divorce with kids.
there are basically two kinds of attorneys.. cut throats and family attorneys. you want a family attorney. they do what is best for the kids, you and even your soon to be ex. they talk a lot about "fair". what is fair and equitable in a divorce. they dont want to embarrass anyone, but they sure dont back down in a fight for what is legally yours and your kids.
hell my ex sold his right to the kids for shares in a bedroom set and living room furniture. lol. thats how twisted up he got... turned down liberal visitation for 18 overnights a year and furniture.
go with your gut instinct... i only had to meet my attorney once to know that he was the right one for me. i sat down, we talked, and he separated the bitterness and hurt i had into a workable plan for visitation, child support, and got me the hell out of dodge.
DO NOT BELIEVE ONE WORD ABOUT LIMITING WHERE YOU CAN LIVE AFTER A DIVORCE. my ex tried to get it written into the decree that if i moved more than x number of miles from my home, i would lose custody of my kids. that is a stupid move some women make. you dont know where life will take you in the next ten years.. so dont limit where you can live.
mine made me so mad i moved 90 miles away... just because. and i found up here a new life. one of my making. one of my choosing. and with my kids to boot.
my kids are 18 and 16 now.. they were 8 and 6 then. its been a good ten years.. and the most peaceful of my adult life.... unless you count my really bad taste in men the last three. lol. but thats my issue and darn if i am not learning from that too.
lol
quietsins
there are basically two kinds of attorneys.. cut throats and family attorneys. you want a family attorney. they do what is best for the kids, you and even your soon to be ex. they talk a lot about "fair". what is fair and equitable in a divorce. they dont want to embarrass anyone, but they sure dont back down in a fight for what is legally yours and your kids.
hell my ex sold his right to the kids for shares in a bedroom set and living room furniture. lol. thats how twisted up he got... turned down liberal visitation for 18 overnights a year and furniture.
go with your gut instinct... i only had to meet my attorney once to know that he was the right one for me. i sat down, we talked, and he separated the bitterness and hurt i had into a workable plan for visitation, child support, and got me the hell out of dodge.
DO NOT BELIEVE ONE WORD ABOUT LIMITING WHERE YOU CAN LIVE AFTER A DIVORCE. my ex tried to get it written into the decree that if i moved more than x number of miles from my home, i would lose custody of my kids. that is a stupid move some women make. you dont know where life will take you in the next ten years.. so dont limit where you can live.
mine made me so mad i moved 90 miles away... just because. and i found up here a new life. one of my making. one of my choosing. and with my kids to boot.
my kids are 18 and 16 now.. they were 8 and 6 then. its been a good ten years.. and the most peaceful of my adult life.... unless you count my really bad taste in men the last three. lol. but thats my issue and darn if i am not learning from that too.
lol
quietsins
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: looking for help
Posts: 2
hi you can call me ponge, i am in the same shoes, only i have been with my significant other for six years, i am having the same problems if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated. my significant other has only been sober 30 days and he is a mad man. im not sure what to do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
ponge... get somewhere safe and serene... as you get physical distance.. mental distance starts.. and you get some clarity... gad i wish you both had a friend like my friend Jerri... a red headed small stack of dynamite.... she was a blessing from god. her husband was so mean... and she shared so much with me.
just as i share with you. please... get to where you are safe first... then get 1/2. lol.
quietsins
just as i share with you. please... get to where you are safe first... then get 1/2. lol.
quietsins
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
First of all Welcome Ponge.... Wow first 30 days was hell on me, I cant tell you how much hurt I was in at the time.... stick around, people here really can help.
Yepper I better, though I should have done more to save myself the issues of the BK and struggling so much to make ends meet, I never regretted leaving the marriage. I think what helped the most is I tryed my best, and when the end was there, it was my decision. Unlike my last relationship that brought me to these boards when my ex-ABF started AA... he promptly 13th stepped and next thing I knew I was moving cuz he no longer was inlove with me. I was not ready to end that so it has taken alot more to get over... not to mention the affair... ego wound.
Take the advise offered and get a good attorney, that has the best interest of the children in their heart cuz trust me when you make the decision, the road gets pretty rough before the good part comes... think of it as the first 1/2 hour of a 48 hour labor. Yep its going to hurt, but the end is a mirical.
Yepper I better, though I should have done more to save myself the issues of the BK and struggling so much to make ends meet, I never regretted leaving the marriage. I think what helped the most is I tryed my best, and when the end was there, it was my decision. Unlike my last relationship that brought me to these boards when my ex-ABF started AA... he promptly 13th stepped and next thing I knew I was moving cuz he no longer was inlove with me. I was not ready to end that so it has taken alot more to get over... not to mention the affair... ego wound.
Take the advise offered and get a good attorney, that has the best interest of the children in their heart cuz trust me when you make the decision, the road gets pretty rough before the good part comes... think of it as the first 1/2 hour of a 48 hour labor. Yep its going to hurt, but the end is a mirical.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 34
Thanks quietsins for the advice. Everyone here has been such a blessing today as I had finally found the reserve in myself to say enough is enough. I woke up this morning with blinders on just focused on letting him know how I feel (without holding back and without him there inteferring with what ever I had to say, because he always overpowers my own opinions with his loud mouth). But, I do work hard and worked hard for that house and need to get what's rightfully mine.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
CBB... my lawyer gave me some advice once about divorce. he said women and men handle filing for divorce differently.
he said women file for divorce only after they have tried every thing that they can think of... have mentally moved on.. and finally gotten to where there is in their hearts and minds nothing left to work towards.
men he said file for divorce as an almost first act.... like a big "HELLO WE HAVE PROBLEMS HERE...AND I JUST MIGHT DO IT" that is why filing for divorce by women so many times gets men off guard.
they havent had the time to process that there was a problem.. much less how much they are going to lose. the filing to many is the first indication that there may be problems. to women... we have already planned out the new bedspread for our bed without them.
so dont take to heart any anger he may have towards you. probably... this will be a first indication to him that you are serious. even though in your own mind.. you gave him plenty of warnings before hand.
my first husband... truly did not realize as an A, that i was serious until after he heard the judge return me to my maiden name.... now he had moved out 18 months earlier.. i had a restraining order... i had arranged to get the kids in a different school 90 miles away... but in "HIS WORLD" i wasnt serious.
i felt kinda sorry for him... he looked like a whipped puppy at the hearing. but then again. i balanced that with the look when he was drunk, i balanced that with the look when he got a gun, i balanced that with the look when he groped a waitress in front of me when i was 9 mo pregnant... and i was strong enough not to let this temporary state of his sadness deter me.
have strength, draw from all those around you who offer a warm hug or a kind word. only until we realize there are millions... heck billions of people out there willing to give us unconditional acceptance without a fight,without a fist, without a harsh word, without bullying.. then we see Gods grace.
quietsins
he said women file for divorce only after they have tried every thing that they can think of... have mentally moved on.. and finally gotten to where there is in their hearts and minds nothing left to work towards.
men he said file for divorce as an almost first act.... like a big "HELLO WE HAVE PROBLEMS HERE...AND I JUST MIGHT DO IT" that is why filing for divorce by women so many times gets men off guard.
they havent had the time to process that there was a problem.. much less how much they are going to lose. the filing to many is the first indication that there may be problems. to women... we have already planned out the new bedspread for our bed without them.
so dont take to heart any anger he may have towards you. probably... this will be a first indication to him that you are serious. even though in your own mind.. you gave him plenty of warnings before hand.
my first husband... truly did not realize as an A, that i was serious until after he heard the judge return me to my maiden name.... now he had moved out 18 months earlier.. i had a restraining order... i had arranged to get the kids in a different school 90 miles away... but in "HIS WORLD" i wasnt serious.
i felt kinda sorry for him... he looked like a whipped puppy at the hearing. but then again. i balanced that with the look when he was drunk, i balanced that with the look when he got a gun, i balanced that with the look when he groped a waitress in front of me when i was 9 mo pregnant... and i was strong enough not to let this temporary state of his sadness deter me.
have strength, draw from all those around you who offer a warm hug or a kind word. only until we realize there are millions... heck billions of people out there willing to give us unconditional acceptance without a fight,without a fist, without a harsh word, without bullying.. then we see Gods grace.
quietsins
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 495
I am sorry you are going thru this. I think you should get out of it. It will be hell while you are going thru it, but in the long run you will only be happier than you are now. Plus it will be a more stable place for your kids. It is is tough...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 34
Thanks once again for all the replies. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but it needs to be done. I did write the letter, he came home late last night so I didn't get a chance to give it to him. I detailed exactly how I am feeling and why I was making the decision. And I didn't give a flying hoot about his feelings. But, let me tell you, I waffled a bit this morning, not wanting to give it to him almost buckling under, being frightened, but I recalled Artman's quote "courage is taking action in the face of fear". (Thank you Artman) I pushed through the fear. I have been afraid of him for so long. Still so, but anything is better than this. I left it under his wallet this morning so that he could be sure not to miss it. Yesterday, I sounded the alarm, took of the mask of the perfect home and family, and help started to come. A girlfriend offered me a place to stay, I have a friend who offered money for me to move. My brother gave me a lead on an apartment and a attorney. So here I stand, grateful, knowing still that I am not over the hurdle, but I am making progress.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
be not afraid, i go before you always.....
i love that hymn.... its carried me thru a lot of hard times.
and when you want some good leaving songs... i suggest these:
my give a damns busted
time for me to fly by reo speedwagon
everybody hurts by rem
and...
i wanna be sedated by the ramones.
reminds me of the steps i had to take to get thru it. i ended up on valium to get thru the panic attacks after the gun thing.. but now... drug free and might tall in my tennie shoes. "hugs"
quietsins
i love that hymn.... its carried me thru a lot of hard times.
and when you want some good leaving songs... i suggest these:
my give a damns busted
time for me to fly by reo speedwagon
everybody hurts by rem
and...
i wanna be sedated by the ramones.
reminds me of the steps i had to take to get thru it. i ended up on valium to get thru the panic attacks after the gun thing.. but now... drug free and might tall in my tennie shoes. "hugs"
quietsins
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