na4today

Today is day 1 for me. I hope I can be strong this time. For the past 9 days since my dad died that has been my excuse to stay as loaded as I could. I haven't faced the fact that he is dead yet. I just want him to walk through the door with that big smile on his face. His funeral was really nice and it was a full house. I never knew how many people's lives my dad had touched. You never know when a persons time is coming and from this I have learned how short and precious life really is. I feel so guilty for all the times I pushed him away because that was easier than being around my mom. All he wanted was a family that was united. I feel so lost without my daddy.

wantneeda

(((na4today)))
so sorry to hear of your dads passing. I've been thinking of mine lots lately...we don't talk much...
You're in my thoughts and prayers along with your family
getting loaded as you know doesn't kill that pain for long, I'm sooo glad you were able to make it back...Just for today...don't drink or drug.You're worth it!!
\\// Wendy

jbm125

Hi na4today, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you are finding your way to sobriety.
I guess you know by now you can't kill the pain with drugs or booze and you dishonor your Dad's memory by trying. Get to a meeting and share your sadness. Share what you've been doing for nine days and turn a negative into a positive. The Daily Reflection for May 26 hit me hard cuz it tells how Bill W. said a relapse can be a learning experience: "Bill W. sent us a clear message: a relapse can provide a positive experience toward abstinence and a lifetime of recovery". Good luck and God bless.

Anna

Hi Na4today,

I am sorry for the loss of your Dad and isn't it true that families are often so complicated! Welcome back!

Anna

CarolD

sorry you are dealing with the pain and sorrow of the death of your Dad.

Hugs and prayers zinging your way.

Mandybabes

Dear Na4today

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Daddy too, first to Alzheimer's and then to death. It is hard to think about how dissapointed he would have been in me, had he known. He was so proud of his family. Why this happened to me, I will never know. I will be on day 1 when you are on day 2, best wishes to both of us.

Marilyn

na4today

my granny has dementia, some days she is there and other days she is somewhere else, it really sucks. I know staying loaded won't help the pain, just didn't have to deal with the death. Now I have to, I don't want to go back to that place and I know that my dad wanted me to be ok so I am ready to have a clear head and deal with all this.
jbm125...you are right it is a dishonor to my dad what I have been doing this week, thanks for bringing it to my attention.

wantneeda

don't beat yourself up na4today!!! we are sick people trying to get better...progress not perfection!!

wingsfreed

((((((na4today)))))) 's with heart felt condolences. I'm also sorry for such a huge loss.

Please take care of yourself. I agree with Wendy, yes we are sick people, so go easy on yourself.

The grieving process can be pretty hard on a person, I hope you have someone to talk to about this, let the tears flow too when they need be, don't hold them back. Keep your Dad's good memories close to you, my parents have been gone forever, I keep the good memories real close to me all the time.

I'm so happy you're back, off we go again to a happier sober life.

Much love........Denise

LettingGo

Gosh that makes me so sad for you. (((Hugs))) I am looking down the road at my mother passing away from Extensive small cell lung cancer within six months or so. I guess I should just be soaking in the minutes I still have. My heart is with you today.

Time4Me11

So sorry for your loss.

I hope you are able to allow your grief to be cleansing and sobering.

I am visiting my father soon..who I don't see enough, and is getting up there. I am so proud to be able to share a week with him sober this time. I know that he has worried for me for too long. Thank you for reminding me how important this time will be.