Starting Over Again
Not all better, getting better
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Starting Over Again
Well I made 11 days without the booze, didn't make it 12!! What can I say, I'd probably be doing well if I took some of my own advice. Oh well, here I sit *ucked up once again. Hope I didn't give anyone a bumm stear while I was messed up. I guess that is the risk you take following an addict's advice. Take care all, I'll be back I guess. Peace to all.
Not all better, getting better
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Thanks all, I kinda scared myself this time, I don't remember posting this or the other post I made later on. I have not recolection what so ever. Never really done the black out thing, I don't like that at all. Got rid of the rest of the bottle, $20 that I really could have used down the drain. What was I thinking??! Well I did penance today by mowing the lawn (over an acre) and spliting and stacking 2 1/2 cord of wood, and I'm not talking about wimpy face cords either!! I'm a lumber jack, and I'm ok....
Guest
Posts: n/a
I'm so glad you're back also Tyler.....ah those black outs are darn scarey for sure....with progression it will be a guarantee always a black out.
A lumberjack....I know how hard that work is, some penance you did today. I can't split the hard wood...maple....I can split kindling, if you need a laugh, it's entertaining according to my son.
Anyway happy you're back, take it easy, onward you go, this is a learning process.
A lumberjack....I know how hard that work is, some penance you did today. I can't split the hard wood...maple....I can split kindling, if you need a laugh, it's entertaining according to my son.
Anyway happy you're back, take it easy, onward you go, this is a learning process.
Not all better, getting better
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Well I do have to own up to having a mechanical splitter, no way I could have done all that by hand. The tree we cut up was about 24" at the base, probably 35' tall, some of the pieces weighed well over 100lbs, my back is feeling that!! Still had to lift those logs onto the splitter! My parrents burn about 3-4 cord of wood a winter, so we got a real good start. Usually don't have this much done till fall. I still have a ton of multch waiting to be put out tomorrow, yea! Then it is time to hit the road for Maine and some good lobster, looking forward to that!! Take care all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Somewhere, WA
Posts: 11
Tyler,
I understand and feel for you. I've been there a number of times. I'm quite envious of the people who show up to an AA meeting for the first time and then don't drink again (for years or forever). Perhaps they were just fully "ready" and ready to surrendur. It's not as easy for many people (myself included). But, I "keep going back" to AA meetings because I want things to get better. It's about progress, not perfection. God bless those who have long-term sobriety. I hope to be there someday. Keep pluggin' away.
Wade
I understand and feel for you. I've been there a number of times. I'm quite envious of the people who show up to an AA meeting for the first time and then don't drink again (for years or forever). Perhaps they were just fully "ready" and ready to surrendur. It's not as easy for many people (myself included). But, I "keep going back" to AA meetings because I want things to get better. It's about progress, not perfection. God bless those who have long-term sobriety. I hope to be there someday. Keep pluggin' away.
Wade
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hi Tyler
I was the same - after a small and even long spell of being dry I always told myself I could have another drink. Now I understand that the drinking is a symptom of something going on deep inside. I have to work daily to keep all that at bay.
My experience was I had to work a program and really throw myself into the program. Recovery has to come first - as I now fully comprehend that without sobriety there will be nothing else, just the endless ever worsening round of "Get Drunk" - "Sober Up" - "Get Drunk" - Sober Up". And one day I won't be able to face it any more.
The good news is that when I was ready to try something new, when I finally dropped my guard and listened to suggestions that had been tried, tested and worked for others, I started to get well, one day at a time.
Keep moving forward buddy, don't drink today and you are a winner.
much love
JC
I was the same - after a small and even long spell of being dry I always told myself I could have another drink. Now I understand that the drinking is a symptom of something going on deep inside. I have to work daily to keep all that at bay.
My experience was I had to work a program and really throw myself into the program. Recovery has to come first - as I now fully comprehend that without sobriety there will be nothing else, just the endless ever worsening round of "Get Drunk" - "Sober Up" - "Get Drunk" - Sober Up". And one day I won't be able to face it any more.
The good news is that when I was ready to try something new, when I finally dropped my guard and listened to suggestions that had been tried, tested and worked for others, I started to get well, one day at a time.
Keep moving forward buddy, don't drink today and you are a winner.
much love
JC
....now that you've done that, move on, and dump the shame stick.
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Tyler--As others have posted, what are you doing to ensure that you don't have to have another slip? I know how scary those blackouts can be. And they will only become more frequent if you continue to drink. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Just make sure that you learn something from this! We are all still here for you, no matter what.
Hugs--
Hugs--
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Tyler,
Don't stop coming back. I know how hard it is to pick ourselves back up when our foot slips on us, but as long as you keep the faith and know in your heart that you can do it, you will find strength inside of you to keep going. Your life is worth every second of effort you put into this thing. I want you to know that you have lots of people who care about you and will support you unconditionally. Tyler, your posts have helped me and I want to be here for you too.
(((TYLER))) Lots of hugs coming your way today my friend!!!!!
Love,
Cheryl <3
Don't stop coming back. I know how hard it is to pick ourselves back up when our foot slips on us, but as long as you keep the faith and know in your heart that you can do it, you will find strength inside of you to keep going. Your life is worth every second of effort you put into this thing. I want you to know that you have lots of people who care about you and will support you unconditionally. Tyler, your posts have helped me and I want to be here for you too.
(((TYLER))) Lots of hugs coming your way today my friend!!!!!
Love,
Cheryl <3
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