Enabling GF of a Married Man
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southern Wisconsin
Posts: 378
Enabling GF of a Married Man
8 mos. ago I began an affair with a married man. And 5 mos. ago he moved in with me while his wife filed for divorce. Shortly before this she "warned" me that she hoped I knew what I was getting into. Well I did not.
I always had a few beers with him and occasionally myself would get drunk. I never said a word about his drinking. As time went on he did admit to having a problem yet he also excused his excessive drinking to the fact that he was having such a hard time with the divorce. I accepted this excuse. Even felt responsible for the cause. The problem only worsened though he always said that emotionally he'd get better so I thought he'd eventually stop drinking so much.
Recently he began to take things out on me. Ridicule (tease) me. Even raising his voice over stupid things. He is a falling down drunk, he passes out nearly every night. He's had 2 DWI's.
2 weeks ago I felt that I needed to look to books for answers and found a good one called "getting them sober". But he did not come home that night. He hit a car on his way to my house and in a panic went to his wife's apt. Since then he's been staying at an that he rented to share with his son on weekends. At first he aknowledged that he needed to get his S**t together. He told me that he did not intend on being with anyone until he could stand being by himself. He was scared for himself. Saying things he had never said before in a sober state. Admitting you can only abuse organs for so long. He began eating. He seemed proud of himself. I went to see him a couple times at his apt. and it was nice and normal and we simply talked and laughed.
Well today things have changed. I am doubting the fact that he even loves me for me. I wonder did he only love the girl who turned a blind eye to his disease.
We made plans to hang out today but he came over after calling from a bar and almost directly looked into my fridge for beer. Well there isn't any! I knew he was still having a few here and there and of course I know b*tching isn't going to stop him anyway. He asked me to go to a bar with him. i said no. i asked him if that was the only way he felt he could have fun with me. no he replied but that is what he was going to do. He began to try to explain that he knew he could be out of control sometimes but....and then his big speech just tapered off for he has no "but". Finally after telling him I was sad and pretty much tried to challenge him to just be with me without beer he left saying "i know, I'm just a walking disapointment" and "once again I'm sorry for everything". I sat and cried for awhile. Then came on this board.
I still have feelings of guilt. I know I am not the cause of his drinking but I sometimes feel like one more problem in his life. And now to feel that he may not even really love me but he loved that I accepted his disease is just heartbreakng and seems so wasteful. I did not want to hurt anyone. I'd feel silly going to Al-Anon because I know other women would hate me since I am "the other woman".
One thought of comfort comes from knowing that his family does care for me and has told me repeatedly that he loves me. They of course expect me to try to care for him. They had hope that his love for me would save his life I think. But only he can do that.
What am I to do?
I always had a few beers with him and occasionally myself would get drunk. I never said a word about his drinking. As time went on he did admit to having a problem yet he also excused his excessive drinking to the fact that he was having such a hard time with the divorce. I accepted this excuse. Even felt responsible for the cause. The problem only worsened though he always said that emotionally he'd get better so I thought he'd eventually stop drinking so much.
Recently he began to take things out on me. Ridicule (tease) me. Even raising his voice over stupid things. He is a falling down drunk, he passes out nearly every night. He's had 2 DWI's.
2 weeks ago I felt that I needed to look to books for answers and found a good one called "getting them sober". But he did not come home that night. He hit a car on his way to my house and in a panic went to his wife's apt. Since then he's been staying at an that he rented to share with his son on weekends. At first he aknowledged that he needed to get his S**t together. He told me that he did not intend on being with anyone until he could stand being by himself. He was scared for himself. Saying things he had never said before in a sober state. Admitting you can only abuse organs for so long. He began eating. He seemed proud of himself. I went to see him a couple times at his apt. and it was nice and normal and we simply talked and laughed.
Well today things have changed. I am doubting the fact that he even loves me for me. I wonder did he only love the girl who turned a blind eye to his disease.
We made plans to hang out today but he came over after calling from a bar and almost directly looked into my fridge for beer. Well there isn't any! I knew he was still having a few here and there and of course I know b*tching isn't going to stop him anyway. He asked me to go to a bar with him. i said no. i asked him if that was the only way he felt he could have fun with me. no he replied but that is what he was going to do. He began to try to explain that he knew he could be out of control sometimes but....and then his big speech just tapered off for he has no "but". Finally after telling him I was sad and pretty much tried to challenge him to just be with me without beer he left saying "i know, I'm just a walking disapointment" and "once again I'm sorry for everything". I sat and cried for awhile. Then came on this board.
I still have feelings of guilt. I know I am not the cause of his drinking but I sometimes feel like one more problem in his life. And now to feel that he may not even really love me but he loved that I accepted his disease is just heartbreakng and seems so wasteful. I did not want to hurt anyone. I'd feel silly going to Al-Anon because I know other women would hate me since I am "the other woman".
One thought of comfort comes from knowing that his family does care for me and has told me repeatedly that he loves me. They of course expect me to try to care for him. They had hope that his love for me would save his life I think. But only he can do that.
What am I to do?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR Sketscher.
We're not here to judge you or how you got into a relationship with this man. The fact is that like many here, you are in love with an active alcoholic.
Take a read around, especially the "sticky" posts at the top, and maybe it will help you grasp that you can work a program for yourself that will help you get through this and become a healthy person again.
You can't change him, sadly he is the only one who can do that and it appears it's not on his agenda. But you can learn to heal and move on to a better place.
I'm happy you joined us.
Hugs
Ann
We're not here to judge you or how you got into a relationship with this man. The fact is that like many here, you are in love with an active alcoholic.
Take a read around, especially the "sticky" posts at the top, and maybe it will help you grasp that you can work a program for yourself that will help you get through this and become a healthy person again.
You can't change him, sadly he is the only one who can do that and it appears it's not on his agenda. But you can learn to heal and move on to a better place.
I'm happy you joined us.
Hugs
Ann
Let go and let God
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: illinois
Posts: 116
Welcome,
You are among friends None of us are sinless. No one will judge you.
My only advice is figure out your boundaries and go to al-anon meetings. You need to determine if this is the way you want to be treated. Not how you think he will treat you in 6 months or a year. You cant change him, assume that he wont change. Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who acts the way he does? If you do, accept his behavior and go forward. If not, tell him so, tell him your needs and it is up to him to decide if he wants to live inside your boundaries. It is his choice. You cant make him drink and you cant make him stop. He is the only person capable of that.
Thanks. Good luck and keep coming back.
There are online meetings. look at the newcomers board for a schedule.
Jeff
By the way, my wife is an addict and taking these steps has helped me and my wife greatly.
You are among friends None of us are sinless. No one will judge you.
My only advice is figure out your boundaries and go to al-anon meetings. You need to determine if this is the way you want to be treated. Not how you think he will treat you in 6 months or a year. You cant change him, assume that he wont change. Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who acts the way he does? If you do, accept his behavior and go forward. If not, tell him so, tell him your needs and it is up to him to decide if he wants to live inside your boundaries. It is his choice. You cant make him drink and you cant make him stop. He is the only person capable of that.
Thanks. Good luck and keep coming back.
There are online meetings. look at the newcomers board for a schedule.
Jeff
By the way, my wife is an addict and taking these steps has helped me and my wife greatly.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Anaheim,CA
Posts: 549
Welcome. If we were perfect WHY would we be here? 
Relax, you're with friends.
Forget the married part. The truth is, your BF is an A. Go to Al-anon. Read about being a codie. Learn about boundaries. Focus on you because in reality, you're the only one you can change.
Relax, you're with friends.
Forget the married part. The truth is, your BF is an A. Go to Al-anon. Read about being a codie. Learn about boundaries. Focus on you because in reality, you're the only one you can change.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
welcome....
for an active alcoholic.. their first love is the booze and their second love is their denial. read read read.... wonderful things will happen. you will become so much more aware of yourself. and growth is beautiful.
quietsins
for an active alcoholic.. their first love is the booze and their second love is their denial. read read read.... wonderful things will happen. you will become so much more aware of yourself. and growth is beautiful.
quietsins
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Hello Sweets,
Consider alanon meetings. They also have lots of free literature so you can get a better idea about the alcoholic. Never feel guilty for "being one more problem" in his life. You're not. You're a considerate caring human being who got involved with a horrible disease.
The book you got is very good. Give it a read or two or three. You'll find something new and different each time through.
Blessings
Consider alanon meetings. They also have lots of free literature so you can get a better idea about the alcoholic. Never feel guilty for "being one more problem" in his life. You're not. You're a considerate caring human being who got involved with a horrible disease.
The book you got is very good. Give it a read or two or three. You'll find something new and different each time through.
Blessings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southern Wisconsin
Posts: 378
Thanks
Thank you to all who read this. And thank you so much for not judging me! The truth is that I do love this man. It's very frustrating and painful to accept that he continues to live his life in this way that will never make him happy. He's not happy with his wife. He's not happy that he left her. This disease is so powerful over him. He's in denial that this has complete control over him. I had some hope that the last crisis was waking him up once again. Making him relaize that he could lose everything but apparently today something once again snapped or he lost that feeling of fear from his accident 2 weeks ago.
I think I'd like to get some of the literature from Al-Anon. Thank you for the advice.
I guess tonight I'd just like reassurance that I did a great thing by resisting the invite to go for a beer, thus disapointing him and his hopes that he can be in "himself" around me. I'd like to think I am making a point and sticking to my promise to him that I will never again drink with him. And to myself I promise to never again "rescue" him. Nor do all the other enabling things I have done in the past 8 months.
I should feel lucky that this has been such a short time for me but it hurts non-the-less. And it's great to find this board with all the other stories.
I think I'd like to get some of the literature from Al-Anon. Thank you for the advice.
I guess tonight I'd just like reassurance that I did a great thing by resisting the invite to go for a beer, thus disapointing him and his hopes that he can be in "himself" around me. I'd like to think I am making a point and sticking to my promise to him that I will never again drink with him. And to myself I promise to never again "rescue" him. Nor do all the other enabling things I have done in the past 8 months.
I should feel lucky that this has been such a short time for me but it hurts non-the-less. And it's great to find this board with all the other stories.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Well my husband cheated on me so I think you are getting what you deserve. A lying cheating drunk. Good luck you deserve him. What do you expect -if this man lied to his wife, he is going to lie and probaly cheat on you. You got yourself into this mess by trying to steal another woman's husband I have no sympathy for you. And I know everyone is going to now attack me. Well this woman is a home wreaker plain and simple. You know it is wrong- you are afraid to go and admit in an alanon meetinng you are the ow. Does this not give you a clue what you are doing is wrong. I think anyone who is saying'well no one is perfect' is enabling this women to think her affair is ok and it is not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My advice to you is to have no contact with this man. Once he is divorced from a marriage you helped destroy, then you are welcome to 'the prize." dax
My advice to you is to have no contact with this man. Once he is divorced from a marriage you helped destroy, then you are welcome to 'the prize." dax
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Dax, babe, I aint gonna attack you. You are certainly allowed to have your feelings. I tend to agree with you on some of your thoughts.
I must say her post shook me at that admission, but I knowthat I have certainly committed acts of which I am ashamed while sick in my disease.
Try to breathe easy tonight and be gentle with yourself. We are all in the same boat, trying to stay afloat!
Take care!
I must say her post shook me at that admission, but I knowthat I have certainly committed acts of which I am ashamed while sick in my disease.
Try to breathe easy tonight and be gentle with yourself. We are all in the same boat, trying to stay afloat!
Take care!
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
I, too, have definitely engaged in some rather dodgy behavior (to put it mildly...) that I am not proud of, so I am reluctant to judge others who admit to similar behaviors. I'd rather be around people who understand that they've done some unhealthy stuff and are looking to make changes than those who continue to deny and cause pain and chaos.
Al-Anon helped me to understand the reasons I did the things I did and how to make healthier choices a day at a time. Today, though I am not proud of some of my past behaviors, I have been able to let go of the shame surrounding them.
Someone's told me a few times that there's no right and wrong--there's only truth.
Al-Anon helped me to understand the reasons I did the things I did and how to make healthier choices a day at a time. Today, though I am not proud of some of my past behaviors, I have been able to let go of the shame surrounding them.
Someone's told me a few times that there's no right and wrong--there's only truth.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southern Wisconsin
Posts: 378
Dax, obviously my story has touched a nerve and I am very sorry for what has happened to you. Believe me, you have not said anything to me that I have not already thought myself. I came clean with the addmission of the affair to illustrate how lonely and unsupported I would feel going to Al-Anon and having to hear those kind of comments. I am not going to try to defend what I have done. I guess I am just looking to feel human and worth compassion regardless of my sin.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
sketscher
You ARE worthy of compassion. Those here who are unwilling or unable to feel compassion are just sicker than others, and I say that with compassion for them also.
This program is not about judging anyone. I wouldn't want to be judged on my past and I don't judge anyone else. This program is about healing, growing and moving on. It's just one codie helping another, that's how it works.
Hugs
Ann
You ARE worthy of compassion. Those here who are unwilling or unable to feel compassion are just sicker than others, and I say that with compassion for them also.
This program is not about judging anyone. I wouldn't want to be judged on my past and I don't judge anyone else. This program is about healing, growing and moving on. It's just one codie helping another, that's how it works.
Hugs
Ann
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
(((((sketscher))))
I think you are very brave to be able to admit what you have done. I kicked my husband out once because of his drug use and he got involved with someone else. It hurt. I have often wondered about the OW. I still struggle with my feelings about her, praying for her helps.
I have thought about kicking him out again because sometimes it feels like I need my own space I think the main reason I haven't is because I fear him having another affair while nothing gets worked out between us. I think when women kick out their H's because of drinking and/or drugging the man becomes very angry and starts an affair to get back at their wife. It seems that men do go back to the wife at least 50% of the time. The percentage of men who leave their girlfriend after the divorce is probably pretty high but, I do not know what it is.
I am hoping that more women will protect themselves from being on the recieving end of the baggage that an alcoholic or drug addict carries out of a divorce and, be very cautious especially when the ex/w says, "I hope you know what you are getting into".My H's exwife said the same thing to me and they were divorced for 2years and I thought it was safe to be involved with him!!!! We all need to know that until the divorce is final it is not emotionaly safe to get involved with a man or a woman who is not yet divorced....
God bless you and I hope you do find peace!!!
I think you are very brave to be able to admit what you have done. I kicked my husband out once because of his drug use and he got involved with someone else. It hurt. I have often wondered about the OW. I still struggle with my feelings about her, praying for her helps.
I have thought about kicking him out again because sometimes it feels like I need my own space I think the main reason I haven't is because I fear him having another affair while nothing gets worked out between us. I think when women kick out their H's because of drinking and/or drugging the man becomes very angry and starts an affair to get back at their wife. It seems that men do go back to the wife at least 50% of the time. The percentage of men who leave their girlfriend after the divorce is probably pretty high but, I do not know what it is.
I am hoping that more women will protect themselves from being on the recieving end of the baggage that an alcoholic or drug addict carries out of a divorce and, be very cautious especially when the ex/w says, "I hope you know what you are getting into".My H's exwife said the same thing to me and they were divorced for 2years and I thought it was safe to be involved with him!!!! We all need to know that until the divorce is final it is not emotionaly safe to get involved with a man or a woman who is not yet divorced....
God bless you and I hope you do find peace!!!
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Originally Posted by Ann
sketscher
Those here who are unwilling or unable to feel compassion are just sicker than others, and I say that with compassion for them also.
This program is not about judging anyone. I wouldn't want to be judged on my past and I don't judge anyone else. This program is about healing, growing and moving on. It's just one codie helping another, that's how it works.
Hugs
Ann
Those here who are unwilling or unable to feel compassion are just sicker than others, and I say that with compassion for them also.
This program is not about judging anyone. I wouldn't want to be judged on my past and I don't judge anyone else. This program is about healing, growing and moving on. It's just one codie helping another, that's how it works.
Hugs
Ann
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
Hey Sketscher,welcome.Folks will judge me,although in program we encourage each others not to judge.Some folks think im real cool,and others think im ,well lets not go there,,lol.But we are learning not to judge,with,the, im better than you type of thinking./attitude../.mentally. Thats sick..Im no better/worse than anyone...Everyone has some kind of issue,in their life,that we have all done,or said that we are not happy with.Its about healing,recovery,fellowship.When i knew better i did better.Forgiving myself and others,and vowing never to repeat actions,of my past.Can only do this for me,living in the 12 steps of recovery.My sponsor advised me to talk to her about the real,deep,issues.And to share generally with others.,in my beginnings of recovery.In this way,im not,exposed to unkind words/actions of others.Until i heal.When i did my 4-9 steps in program,i was then free from the burdens of my past.And today i share everything,no longer in the pain of my past.Not affected, by how others respond to my past.Im free.Some are sicker than others,and when attacked,i can today,pray for them.Common sence,says that well folks will not attack others,to me.The sick,hurting folks,who are not working program to heal.Will attack.Yupper judgement...My past is a tool i use,today to help others.its a process.Sketcher,have you thought about al-anon?its a great program for your recovery,and learning more about yourself,.
Keep on keeping on,
You are no longer all alone...
Keep on keeping on,
You are no longer all alone...
Last edited by Cap3; 05-29-2005 at 07:04 AM. Reason: post
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Hey this women hasn't admitted her sin so to speak and made amends. She knows her behavior is wrong and just goes on full steam ahead wanting advice on how to 'fix' somebody's else's husband. This is enabling a person to continue with unaceptable behavior. I guess you can count me sticker than you, Ann, because I have no compassion for this woman. She chose to have an affair with a married man and is now boo hooing because it turns out he just needed her for a drinking buddy and sex. I hope she used protection. Remember ,Ann, there is a completely devastated wife out there who has endured life with this alcoholic man who now cheats on her. For all we know she may well be a member of alanon. Gee poor ow. She is so sorry -she continues on in the affair. Well the karma bus has just hit her big time. This woman needs to stop seeing this man. Until he is divorced, he should not be in her life at all.
This 'do not judge others' is what enables affairs to go on in the program. God lord- I guess if someone was a child moslester married to an alcoholic we should all send him the best in his recovery. And this "some are sicker others is ' holier than thou attitude is to me absolutely disgusting. You act like you are better than others. dax
This 'do not judge others' is what enables affairs to go on in the program. God lord- I guess if someone was a child moslester married to an alcoholic we should all send him the best in his recovery. And this "some are sicker others is ' holier than thou attitude is to me absolutely disgusting. You act like you are better than others. dax
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
FriendofBill and Dax
When I crawled into this program broken and hopeless, there was nobody anywhere sicker than me. I am still sick, and recovery is a daily reprieve for me, as it is for all in recovery.
So for me to say "some are sicker than others" is a compassionate way of explaining the sick behaviour that I recognize because that's where I came from.
We are each and every one of us sick. That's why this program exists. We are not responsible for how we got sick, but we each have a choice and a program that will teach us how to get well.
And I say it here, because here is where the sickness heals. It's not about judging anyone, it's about sharing my own experience, strength and hope and sickness so that others can learn from it and so that I can heal and grow.
The two greatest sicknesses we bring into this program are fear and resentments. Either one of them can kill us, or kill our spirit if we allow them to. Faith is the antidote to fear, and forgiveness is the antidote to resentments. Replacing what makes us sick with faith and forgiveness will take each one of us to a better place of healing.
Take it or leave it - the choice is there for each one of us.
Hugs
Ann
When I crawled into this program broken and hopeless, there was nobody anywhere sicker than me. I am still sick, and recovery is a daily reprieve for me, as it is for all in recovery.
So for me to say "some are sicker than others" is a compassionate way of explaining the sick behaviour that I recognize because that's where I came from.
We are each and every one of us sick. That's why this program exists. We are not responsible for how we got sick, but we each have a choice and a program that will teach us how to get well.
And I say it here, because here is where the sickness heals. It's not about judging anyone, it's about sharing my own experience, strength and hope and sickness so that others can learn from it and so that I can heal and grow.
The two greatest sicknesses we bring into this program are fear and resentments. Either one of them can kill us, or kill our spirit if we allow them to. Faith is the antidote to fear, and forgiveness is the antidote to resentments. Replacing what makes us sick with faith and forgiveness will take each one of us to a better place of healing.
Take it or leave it - the choice is there for each one of us.
Hugs
Ann
Let go and let God
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: illinois
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by dax
Hey this women hasn't admitted her sin so to speak and made amends. She knows her behavior is wrong and just goes on full steam ahead wanting advice on how to 'fix' somebody's else's husband. This is enabling a person to continue with unaceptable behavior. I guess you can count me sticker than you, Ann, because I have no compassion for this woman. She chose to have an affair with a married man and is now boo hooing because it turns out he just needed her for a drinking buddy and sex. I hope she used protection. Remember ,Ann, there is a completely devastated wife out there who has endured life with this alcoholic man who now cheats on her. For all we know she may well be a member of alanon. Gee poor ow. She is so sorry -she continues on in the affair. Well the karma bus has just hit her big time. This woman needs to stop seeing this man. Until he is divorced, he should not be in her life at all.
This 'do not judge others' is what enables affairs to go on in the program. God lord- I guess if someone was a child moslester married to an alcoholic we should all send him the best in his recovery. And this "some are sicker others is ' holier than thou attitude is to me absolutely disgusting. You act like you are better than others. dax
This 'do not judge others' is what enables affairs to go on in the program. God lord- I guess if someone was a child moslester married to an alcoholic we should all send him the best in his recovery. And this "some are sicker others is ' holier than thou attitude is to me absolutely disgusting. You act like you are better than others. dax
I dont like what she has done but "beating" her with her sin is not going to get her to a better place. She needs compassion and support to go in a productive direction. Nothing anyone says can change the past.
If she works the steps. She will make amends in step 9.
Until then, we need to help her work step 1, 2, 3 and so on. It seems to me like she will come to terms with her sin in step 4. Then she will beat herself up, we dont have to.
Thanks
Jeff
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Hi Sketscher and welcome.
When I first saw the title of your thread, I thought you were the woman my husband had a relationship with. Don't worry, I'm not here to judge you. You are hurting just like the rest of us and no one is perfect. You deserve compassion and support just like anyone else.
I told my husband's friend about al-anon and I hope you go to a meeting. No one deserves to live with the misery of active addiction. You can't save him, he can only get well with the help of a higher power and a recovery program. But you can get help for yourself and the first thing I hope you do is forgive yourself and move past the guilt.
Take care,
JG
When I first saw the title of your thread, I thought you were the woman my husband had a relationship with. Don't worry, I'm not here to judge you. You are hurting just like the rest of us and no one is perfect. You deserve compassion and support just like anyone else.
I told my husband's friend about al-anon and I hope you go to a meeting. No one deserves to live with the misery of active addiction. You can't save him, he can only get well with the help of a higher power and a recovery program. But you can get help for yourself and the first thing I hope you do is forgive yourself and move past the guilt.
Take care,
JG
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Hey jeff THIS OW IS STILL IN HER SIN AND SHOWS NO SIGN OF TRUE REMORSE. It is hurtful of those touched by infidelity that some of you take it so lightly.You may have turned from your adultry and been forgiven by God but no telling how much hurt your adulty caused.
"If she works the steps. She will make amends in step 9".Ha , Ha , Ha. I thought this too. I ASKED HER MANY TIMES FOR AN APOLOGY. NEVER GOT ONE. The ow in my case make no amends and her sobriety was in the teens at the time. You are wrong if you think working the steps will fix everything. It may keep a drunk sober but it will not get him or her making true amennds out in the real world. This is just my bad experience with the program- 26 years of it. For the first 20 years I believed as you do. dax
"If she works the steps. She will make amends in step 9".Ha , Ha , Ha. I thought this too. I ASKED HER MANY TIMES FOR AN APOLOGY. NEVER GOT ONE. The ow in my case make no amends and her sobriety was in the teens at the time. You are wrong if you think working the steps will fix everything. It may keep a drunk sober but it will not get him or her making true amennds out in the real world. This is just my bad experience with the program- 26 years of it. For the first 20 years I believed as you do. dax
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
