benefits

HI, I hate to brag because that's not really my style but I really want to share this because I am really proud of myself yet at the same time I wonder why I want to help. I've heard quite a few things lately about my exABF about how the business is going downhill fast and how he is going down faster and a whole bunch of other problems I won't bore you with right now. So anyway I feel bad for him, there is a part of me that wants to reach out to him, I really think that if I reached out to him he would be glad to have me to talk to and I was always a good listener and someone objective he could share his problems with. On the other hand maybe he would just act like a jerk to me again but I don't know for sure. But here is the bragging part - as much as I want to be there for him because I feel bad about his situation I have not made any attempts to call him or see him or anything else like that. As a matter of fact I had the opportunity Saturday night to probably run into him but I avoided the situation because I just didn't want to go down that road again. I'm really proud of myself because I love this man but I know he cannot and will not treat me the way I deserve to be treated and maybe some of this recovery stuff is really starting to sink in because I know if we were to start up again it would be at his convenience and to meet his needs and none of my needs would be met again. So I'm happy that I am really moving on and seeing that I deserve better - but it does still bother me that I even care what is going on with my ABF. I guess to stop caring will take a bit longer. And maybe I will never stop caring completely.

JessicaNAJ

I think you've earned those bragging rights!!! Awesome!!!

Cynay

Wow

Thanks for posting that.... I think Im starting to come to the same place you are... I hope so.

WOOOHOOOO for you!

We do deserve for our needs to be met toooooo!

Minx1969

Benefits,

I totally understand where you are coming from. At some point (not in the near future) I invision myself being "friendly" with my exABF..which probably means a call for Xmas and his birthday..

I'm not sure we ever stop caring..I'm just really detached and it's only taken me 8 months..Of which I am astonished.

Good for you for not putting yourself in a situation where you could get hurt again! Sounds like you are making great progress in your recovery..(funny how little things like not returning their calls are called recovery! lol)

smoke gets in my eyes

Brag away, Benefits! Not only because you have a right to be proud, but because our cheering is going to help you stick to your guns.

Yaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Hugs!
Smoke

minnie

That is really cool, benefits. Just because we're detaching, doesn't mean we don't care. It just means that we don't do things that are unhealthy for us and/or the alcoholics in (and out!) of our lives.

I know it's hard, believe me, but it's worth it in the end.

Love

Minnie
xxx

cwohio

yea benefits - slowly but surely like the tortoise we begin to "get it"! Good for you in taking care of YOU!

sunshinebluesky

im so glad you posted that,because i really needed to hear it right now. just goes to show no matter what we think of our own posts,they always seem to be able to help someone on here in some way!

CodeMaster

Congrats!

But isnt it a little surreal, how its best not to help. You'd think doing good couldnt ever go wrong, but I suppose this is where you learn to choose who you associate with as being an important principle in your life.

Cheers!