THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY (joke):)

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05-24-2005, 11:34 AM

# 1 (permalink)

EndOfRoadWife

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Join Date: Aug 2003

Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Posts: 261

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY (joke):)

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an! ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you.
I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

################################################## ##

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

************************************************** ******************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tenness! ee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time.
Let's say we stop?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

================================================== ===

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.