Ann

This especially addresses the "moms", but all are welcome to join in.

A thought/question occurred to me tonight, and I thought I would share it and get your input...

I was wondering what we would be doing with our time and energy if we weren't so busy thinking about our children going to jail, getting out of jail, getting messed up, getting straightened out, going into rehab and coming out of rehab or simply disappearing.

Now, I still would be going to meetings and working on my recovery...it is good stuff for all my lifetime relationships and really good for me...but what else would I be doing?

I have to give this some thought, because I know I spend waaay too much time not doing constuctive things for me, but one thing I thought of that I am going to look into, is to take a course in something totally non-academic. One of the girls who works with me is taking some university courses and she has a book of everything that the University of Toronto has to offer....much of it is non-academic. I have never been to the U of T but it is not far from my house and one night a week would suit me fine.

I posted earlier about looking for something, and now I think I have a source. Tuba lessons and yodelling are out...but maybe learning to speak Spanish or a drama workshop...I AM the "drama Queen" so this one should be easy. I think it would be fun and would get me off my butt and into something fun.

How about you? What have YOU done for yourself lately? Any ideas to share with the rest of us?

Morning Glory

I've been thinking that I want to drive to Las Vegas and play the slot machines. I just love doing that. I am going to do that in the near future. Maybe I can take Josie with me. She certainly needs to get away.

My new part time weekend job starts in 2 weeks so I will have some extra money to decorate my house and maybe buy some new furniture.

Sounds like fun to me. I also have to paint my kitchen.

Hugs,
MG

Ann

MG - I would love to decorate or paint...if I had any talent at all LOL. I hear that there may be an opening on Martha Stewart's old show...and that is a good thing.

Maybe a course in decorating would be fun.

And I would LOVE to go to Vegas with you. Blackjack and Craps are my favourites. Haven't been for years and years.

osier59

Thats a GOOD question. What have I done for ME lately?
I bought a dvd player with home theatre (cheap, cheap CHEAP one) so that I could watch some good old movies.

I bought a trashy romance novel and read it in 2 days

I made a to-die-for cheesecake and then gave it away without eating a bite

That's about it. Kind of sad, huh? Thanks for reminding me to do something special for myself.

Hugs
Osier59

smoke gets in my eyes

This is my busiest time of year. I can't go to Las Vegas (sounds wonderful, though!) and the novel I am reading I have been reading for 2 months. I get about a page read before I fall asleep. But I am craving cream of chicken soup. And so, my nice thing will be to stop at the grocery and get some cream of chicken on the way home. I hope I do not fall asleep in my soup.

osier59

Since I can't go to Vegas either - no money and no time- I think I'll just take bets as to whether or not Smoke falls asleep in her soup.

Any takers??

Osier59

Josie

I went to Rite-Aide the other day, and
bought perfume, bubble bath, and toilet
paper. I was so jazzed, now what does
that tell you!
I'm always ready for Vegas M.G., I was
there quite abit last year-also if you
are ever up this way-we have a casino
about 15 minutes away-stop by and we'll
go!
If I had the money, I would buy a motor
home, take a superlong vacation, tour
the United States, and soak in the sights
and people. This is something I have
always wanted to do-travel.

Hugs,

osier59

If I had the money and the motor home, I would travel around to all the places where each of you live. We could visit face to face and share hugs, laughs, tears etc. Wouldn't that be grand?

O59

JT

What would I be doing if I wasn't worrying? Well since I am not spending anytime worrying today...what am I doing?

In spite of saying 2002 sucked in fact I had a vacation with Ward in Jamaica (never been out of the country) and I had a vaction with a sister/friend when we both turned 50.

I happen to love my job and my co-workers so that is good.

As a result of alot of years in the program I have managed to construct a life that is good in spite of all the %$^#. And I found all of you.

I Bunco and golf and read and I have room I am working on...and a girl in my office is taking asthetics and she needs subjects to practice on so I am going to have a Euopean Facial this Sat...AHHHH!

So that's me!

Hugs,
JT

Rose56

Lets see..... I went away for the weekend to visit my college roomate and I got to see another college roomate I have not seen in 12 years. It was great fun.

A couple of weeks ago I had several pieces of jewelry repaired and bought a new gold chain. Now I feel like I have new jewelry it had been broken so long.

I am planning a new weekend trip to my sister's house for the end of this month. Just an inexpensive get away and a chance to talk and visit....and to be away from the stress at home.

I would love to take a drama or dance class.....I am also a drama queen. I will work on that.

Thanks for asking Anns.........

sparrow

Hi Ann

I hv been an anonoymous vistor to this site for quite a few months. My daughter drinks and does drugs and hs since her sophmore year of high school She hs since graduated and is still active. Lets just say tht I hv been to Hell and back so many times tht I should get frequent flyer miles. It is a very long story and some day I will share it but lets just say for now tht I had a beautiful sweet daughter for many years but once she hit high school and made the decision to drink and do drugs our once close and dear mother daughter bond disintergrated. Thts wht the drugs do they rob them of their true spirit. They rob the family too and change our spirit as we try to cope with a situation tht is beyond our control. I love my daughter always will and it is my hope and prayer tht she will one day face the truth about her addictions and tke the necessary steps towards Recovery.

This brings me to the reason I decided to post tday Along time ago I read a post tht stated nothing changes if nothing changes
and it referred to being the type of person tht couldn't attend Al-Anon meetings. I thought about this quite a bit and after my daughter moved out a second time after saying tht she wnted to work on our relationship tht the teen years made it fall apart I decided tht I must work on me and how I handle this unbearable pain of having a loved one who is addicted. I wnt to my first Al-Anon meeting The July 4th Weekend I thought tht ws appropriate
since It ws time for me to reclaim my life and assert my Indepedence from spending so much time living in Her Disease.

So today Ann when you ask wht do we do I answer with a profound thank you to you for all the wisdom , honesty and love
you hv shared on this board. You were and are an Enabler in the
BEST sense of tht word because you gave me the wings to get thru the door of An Al-Anon meeting. God send many blessings to
you Ann You are an ANGEL! List of things to do t-day visiting with my Al-Anon Angels is always at the top

journeygal

Last night I decided to take a bath. Now this is a big ritual for me. We have a huge tub and I have candles all around it. It takes about 20 minutes to fill the tub and a full bottle of bubble bath to make enough bubbles. I always turn off all the lights, light the candles, turn on some soothing music or my ocean CD with the waves crashing, and sit back and let all the stress float away. Well, when I was ready to light the candles I went to the drawer where we keep our candle lighter. It wasn't there. I looked all over but couldn't find it. Since neither me nor my A smoke, the only conclusion I could come to was that my A must have used it the last time he smoked crack in the house. So I couldn't light my candles. The whole bath experience was ruined for me. This really upset me b/c this is the one thing that never fails to comfort me, no matter how stressful things are. I was so pissed that my A ruined this for me. I still took my bath but it just wasn't the same.

Today I'm going to buy a new candle lighter and hide it from him. It's a shame we have to go to these lengths to try and maintain our peace. Sheesh!

Morning Glory

Hi Sparrow,

Welcome to the forum.

I'm so glad you introduced yourself.

Feel free to share at any time.

Hugs,
MG

Ann

Hi Sparrow

I am replying at work, so will have to keep it short, but I want to say thank you for all the nice things you said.

Your name reminds me of one of my favourite Sunday School hymns..."God sees the little sparrow fall..." So know that God is taking care of you.

I am glad you finally decided to join us. Our family just gets bigger and better all the time. Welcome.

And keep coming back.

sparrow

Hello Ann

Thanks for the official welcome to the board. Thanks also goes out to MG, Smoke , and Josie for all the inspiration you hv given me over the past several months. I admire you guys for telling it like it is and so appreciate your sense of humor. There's a quote tht says "Keep your sense of humor and you won't loose your piece of mind." I have laughed out loud at some of the expressions here, remember when laughing out loud seemed impossible? A geniune good hearted laugh we didn't think we had it in us anymore until we found Al-Anon.

I am working on letting my daughter pull her own" little red wagon"
and usually when I do this it lightens my load by having less Mom
guilt to lug around. Learning to let her live life on it's terms and hoping tht she hs the personal achievements tht result from having to figure her own way out of problems. Ann it's funny tht
you mentioned the hymn because the reason I choose my screename as Sparrow is bec of a hymn I remember tht says "His
eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me." I find tht a comforting thought. I did grocery shopping t-day and I treated myself to a special dessert cake and coffee. My daughter is suppose to visit t-day she says she wants to talk to me. I think
I better put on my armor just in case a few arrows come my way! P.S Sorry about typo's in first post.

Josie

Hi Sparrow-Welcome!
I carry my survival kit at all times,
it's a must. You just never know
what you could get hit with! Thanks
for sharing, we are all here for you-
keep coming back!
Ann, I've been thinking about a class
too hmmmmm. Maybe something academic to
see if this ol' girl still has a brain.


HUGS,

JT

Sparrow,

I wanted to jump on the welcome wagon with everyone else! Welcome to the family...it sounds as tho you have found some peace in the program. I am so happy when one more jumps off that roller coaster!

Hugs,
JT

davidsmom

I'm sure I'd have time for a second full time job with lots of overtime if I could take the time that I spend worrying or trying to "fix" and use it for somthing else,


Davids Mom

mistee

hi everyone good question with all the things i have been going thru in my little stressed world. With the daily challenges i face and the haunting past at times i feel i paint my stress away and if i am painting i find myself going to that place i am painting if it is a winter scene i feel the cold on my cheeks and hands I also paint little houses in the woods too and i find that is my save world away from the people that have been involed in my life at this time courts and jails
to me buying a new scent of incense helps ease the stress in my life my therapist had me do an excerise before halloween people or thoughts that have contunued to haunt me and write it on toilet paper at first i looked at him funny but i wrote down the things and people that have been taking space in my heart and my head for quite some time and i said a prayer and ripped each piece of toilet paper off and flushed them down the toilet i am sure i will have to do this from time to time to rid of myself these haunting things but it did help me feel some relief

my mom came down one day last week and treated me to have my hair done i had 7 inches of hair cut and i have a new look it has inspired me to want to care for me better that i am a good person and i need to take time for me

thanks everyone
hugs mistee

Hangin' In

Interesting question, Anns. But let me say this before I say that...

Last night my husband and I were talking about our A, our daughter. Seems to be a frequent conversation around our house, but.....

I had given him some material to read that I had printed off of this board....some 12 step material and some codependency info, also. I asked him did he learn anything and his reply was very interesting. He said, "You know that part that says 'do something for yourself', well, I feel almost feel guilty when I do that.

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder my whole family is dysfunctional! We are ALL codependent!!!!! But that's okay. I think everyone has some codependent tendencies so we'll just deal with what we have and try to work on them in order to help ourselves.

But anyway, back to the subject at hand. Sometimes it's the little things that make our lives more bearable and one little thing that I enjoy is a good smelling Yankee candle. Those candles, by far, smell THE best. Now my personal frangrance recommendations are "Island Mango" (pretend you're on a tropical island ) and my latest discovery is "Baby Powder". Good gosh, you can't get any better than the fresh smell of a cute little baby's bottom to make you feel better! Also, if you like food smells, try the "Key Lime Pie". I tell you, I light one of those candles while I'm in the shower and when I get out, my entire bathroom smells delicious. Just a little thing I do for myself, but it works.