Just an update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 12
Just an update
Hello all
I just wanted to update the situation between me and my husband. Things are pretty much a roller coaster and I guess from reading other posts, that's pretty normal. I mentioned last post that he was going to call some group therapy places but he has not to my knowledge done this. Despite this, last week was pretty good. He went two and a half days completely sober and then two more just drinking two beers. Then, I had to go away for a conference (where I am now). I talked to him yesterday and I'm pretty sure he was already looped (this was about noon his time). This morning he called and seemed fine but told me he broke two plates (our wedding "china")
I, however, was proud of myself in that I didn't rant and rave as usual. I just calmly continued talking. Maybe that's the beginning of this elusive "detachment". I read in one of the posts that positive reinforcement is a good idea and I am working on being very positive when talking to my husband. He tends to get very depressed and is currently looking for a job- which makes him feel pretty useless.
This tactic seems to improve our conversations if nothing else. So I am hopeful that we are on an upswing.
Thanks so much for all your kind words and support. This board is really great.
More later...I'll get home on Thursday!
I just wanted to update the situation between me and my husband. Things are pretty much a roller coaster and I guess from reading other posts, that's pretty normal. I mentioned last post that he was going to call some group therapy places but he has not to my knowledge done this. Despite this, last week was pretty good. He went two and a half days completely sober and then two more just drinking two beers. Then, I had to go away for a conference (where I am now). I talked to him yesterday and I'm pretty sure he was already looped (this was about noon his time). This morning he called and seemed fine but told me he broke two plates (our wedding "china")
I, however, was proud of myself in that I didn't rant and rave as usual. I just calmly continued talking. Maybe that's the beginning of this elusive "detachment". I read in one of the posts that positive reinforcement is a good idea and I am working on being very positive when talking to my husband. He tends to get very depressed and is currently looking for a job- which makes him feel pretty useless.
This tactic seems to improve our conversations if nothing else. So I am hopeful that we are on an upswing.
Thanks so much for all your kind words and support. This board is really great.
More later...I'll get home on Thursday!
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Denton Texas
Posts: 92
Conference calls
Hi there. I sure relate to not being with the A, and wondering what they are doing. However, I have learned here and at mtgs., that at times like this focusing on yourself, the conference, and working on you is the thing to do. Hard.. Enjoy your conference and do something for you. I always polish my toes, take 3 baths a day , etc. when away... Oh and room service 1 day.... what a treat.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Glow Worm
Something we learn is that of they are going to use, they use...whether or not we are there babysitting them or not. And I agree that you should do your best to enjoy your conference and let the rest go. It takes time and it takes practice, but the more we work OUR recovery, the less we are affected by their lack of it.
My prayers are with you.
Something we learn is that of they are going to use, they use...whether or not we are there babysitting them or not. And I agree that you should do your best to enjoy your conference and let the rest go. It takes time and it takes practice, but the more we work OUR recovery, the less we are affected by their lack of it.
My prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
Hi Glow,
It sounds like you are doing well and I too hope you enjoy your conference. It is great to get away from all the stress of home sometimes. Please keep sharing about your detachment, I am trying to do this but I have trouble.
It sounds like you are doing well and I too hope you enjoy your conference. It is great to get away from all the stress of home sometimes. Please keep sharing about your detachment, I am trying to do this but I have trouble.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 12
Thanks!
Thanks everyone for your continued support! It really does help! 
I have really been enjoying the conference- learning a lot! I may even have an opportunity for a promotion! (We are going through another restructure and based on some information I got at the conference, I decided to send an email with my thoughts on the future of our group to my (possibly) future boss.) This is a big step for me but I figure: no one else will tell him what I can do, so why I don't I! Wish me luck!
As for hubbie, I talked to him again yesterday and he sounded really great- very positive and confident. One day at a time right?
We'll see what happens. I leave for home tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.
Til then, Glow
I have really been enjoying the conference- learning a lot! I may even have an opportunity for a promotion! (We are going through another restructure and based on some information I got at the conference, I decided to send an email with my thoughts on the future of our group to my (possibly) future boss.) This is a big step for me but I figure: no one else will tell him what I can do, so why I don't I! Wish me luck!
As for hubbie, I talked to him again yesterday and he sounded really great- very positive and confident. One day at a time right?
We'll see what happens. I leave for home tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.
Til then, Glow
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