Beautiful

of me! Today we got there and there had been a mistake made and our appointment had been dropped out of the computer. Mind you, I was the first one there and, after cooling my jets for 15 minutes, the secretary emerges with, "I have next Tuesday or Wednesday at 10:00am."

Nope. Nope. Nope. That isn't going to work. Counselor emerges and says that's all he has available -- he's sorry for the mix up, blah, blah, blah, blah. Apparently the appointment booked over us must've been close to suicide but he didn't *say* that.

I say, "We booked this appointment 2 weeks ago. I understand mistakes, but I am one step from a full heart attack just walking through the door. I am not driving back from my office (40 miles away) next Tuesday and to find childcare in the middle of the morning is nearly impossible. I am not working anymore on this " He says, "I can see you are affected deeply by this." I say, " I am because it makes no sense to me whatever that I have to PAY to speak with my husband."

The end result is that we are going today at 2:30pm. I said I would be there. My AH (whose "day was packed" this morning) says, "I am completely flexible on this and that will work for me."

There is an upswing on this though: My problem is that my husband can't solve conflict one on one. There HAS to be another party involved. That would make the Karpman Drama Triangle live AGAIN as it did from Day 5 of our marriage through year 7. The upswing part is that I have identified this..................BEFORE I die of a heart attack. *sigh*

Beautiful

I know I'm going to puke before this is all over................

GettingBy

OMG... don't do that because I'm on the verge of puking myself!! The stress and anxiety have my stomachs all screwed up! I guess that's a good indicator that I'm out of my comfort zone, eh?

Beautiful

This is where HE shines -- in counseling. I would shine with a book, a friend, or a mentor. Going to a counselor for him is like taking a bubble bath for me.

SOOOOOOOO far out of my comfort zone that there's no air.

GettingBy

It's when I step out of my comfort zone that I learn the most, but it's hard. If I stay in my nice warm comfort zone, nothing changes. Right now, I'm so far out of my comfort zone that I feel like I'm stark naked in Antartica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cynay

I have to agree with GettingBY....

Im feeling out of my comfort zone as well lately, I think that is why Im depressed lately and feeling out of control, frustrated, angry etc.

It gets better .... breath, if you can still breath there is air and growth. It is just a matter of finding that strength and taking the next step.

cwohio

beautiful - breathe - right now you are at the counseling office according to my clock! hope all goes well - and as always, thanks for the manner in which you write your posts - you always tell it the way it is!

Beautiful

Okay. I'm back. Shouldn't say it, but got a full glass of Cabernet in my hand. The counselor said this:

1. I am very hurt. $0.50

2. There is hostility in my house. $0.50

3. My husband hasn't been loyal to me. $1.00

4. My husband *has* been loyal to his adult kids at my expense. $1.00

5. Counselor says to H (re: me) I am miserable at our home as husband has negated all of my feelings regarding its origin (his and ex's). So, if he won't do/hire the projects needing completion at our house then it must be that he doesn't value me. If he doesn't give a sh*t about me then what am I doing there wasting my life????? $147.00

7. Husband LISTENED: $ PRICELESS

Husband is very humble now. Husband said in the parking lot that he was going here, then coming home, then delivering this trailer, then............


I must say that it shouldn't cost this much money to learn being kind to another human being. *sigh*

Cynay

Yea... but WOOHOOO he listened, and your right you cant put a price on that!