hopealwayz

Good morning!
I woke up at 3:30 in the morning because I had a using dream! It felt so real and scared me half to death. I remember using in the dream and then I felt so guilty and shameful. I thought I had lost of 6 days of sobriety until I woke up and realized that it was all a dream.
Phew, that was a good reminder of where I never want to be again but I had real tears in my eyes and my heart was pounding when I woke up.

Eh, this is normal to have these dreams?

Hugs,
C

findinganewme

Dear C

Don't know whether this is NORMAL or not ... I would *assume* so .... I just know that it happens to me a lot .... but, I wouldn't call them dreams .... I'd call them nightmares/hallucinations ... at least that's what they feel like to me! It is very very frightening!

I'm sorry you were so frightened, but atleast you were awakened by a sober, non-use day! ENJOY IT!

M.

Roxann

Oh I had these. I had them so often I posted about it months ago to see if it was normal. I got a lot of feedback that it is. Just remember that it's only a dream. You aren't losing any time, and you are still waking up clean. ((HUGS))

hopealwayz

It's good to know that it's normal. It was so weird to have a dream about something like that and have it feel so real. Strange....

Thanks for sharing that!



Hugs,
Cheryl

requiredfield

Dreams of using are completely normal. We do something for years and years and it becomes a way of life. Just because we put the drink/drug down doesn't mean it's completely gone from our minds whether is be consious or unconsious. I've had plenty of them and they definately are scary. In the first few weeks, I had dreams where I would be sitting at a bar with a friend drinking soda, eventually I would order a beer take one sip and act as if I forgot that I couldn't have one. I would wake up feeling so guity and shameful that it took me about 15 min. to realize it didn't really happen, and then came the flood of relief. For me, this just reinforced the fact that there was no more denying I was an alcoholic. I almost looked at it as if my higher power was just trying to help me along with Step 1.

Over time, my drinking/drugging dreams have changed. I find that "sobriety" is starting to enter the picture. In one dream, I found myself so filled with shame and worrying about getting back up to get my 24 hour chip. And that dream gave me a sense of rememeber when. In another dream I remember being at a wedding and saying "I can have one glass of wine". And I had a freaking BLACK OUT, in a dream. (That was so insane to me). In the dream, all of a sudden it was the next morning and I was crying while talking to my Mom and she filled me in about the night before, how I was ********* to talking to nuns (of all ppl!) about my sobriety! (Oh the irony). This dream provided me with the reminder of what exactly is going to happen if I dabble in "just one". So overall, I find that over time my dreams are starting to become more about the things I'm learning in AA, and less about the "good times" itself. I can actually FEEL the feelings of guilt and shame in my dreams and to me, that seems like it's just a lesson to be learned. I think my higher power is trying to tell me something here.

It's just another one of those things in life that we have to go through along the path.

Anna

batchagaloop

My BF wakes up several times during the week because of using dreams. He says that in his dreams after using he starts to panic because he's on probation and it would mean going back to jail. He says that it's so real he's surprised when he wakes up in his bed and is so grateful it was only a dream.

wantneeda

yep, normal for me...and i do thank my HP for them...the reminder of where i don
't want to go.
Anna...i just had a dream yesterday while napping on the couch...freaky...i dreamt that i was going to a meeting...but i was with the people that i used to use with...uh ya...well next thing i know i'm in a public washroom, waiting for these people to come back...40 minutes of the hour...the meeting, pass by..i'm choked...
Next i'm in my ( not really mine but) apartment with my daughter...i see things like jackets and stuff left by the people i was supposed to go to the meeting with...so i'm trying to throw it out the door when 1 of these people shows up...i'm scared that he has drugs on him and am trying to push him out the door. Now i'm trying to put tool boxes ou the door but see this guy trying to fiddle with the locks on my door. i keep pushing him out and trying desparately to lock the door, but evertime i get it locked he keeps getting in...man i was freaked...i woke up,,,was one of those dreams where i knew i was dreaming but couldn't wake up...i hate those!!!
Better than a using dream? I don't know...rates up there the same to me..My heart was doin 90 in the dream and when i woke...seemed so real!!
Angelhugs....these dreams do lessen in time...they have for me.
\\// Wendy

lulu70

I have had more using dreams than I can possibly count. In fact, pretty much everyone I know who is in recovery has had them. Most still do, occasionally. I had one a couple of weeks ago that had me freaked out the whole next day. Of course, now I can't remember what actually happened in the dream. I look at it the same way requiredfield does. We all drank/drugged/whatever for so long, those thoughts are still going to be there. Also, at least for me, in early sobriety my waking thoughts were all about recovery--not using, going to meetings, working the steps, etc. I think when I went to sleep and my guard got down, the old demon would jump at the chance to rear its ugly head. The dreams are much less frequent now, and most of time not nearly so intense. I think we also have to realize that when we were drinking/using we never really got good, quality, r.e.m. sleep. When I was smoking pot everyday I almost never had dreams. When I stopped, it took a while for me to get used to having ANY kind of dreams.

Hang in there guys!!!! It gets better!

Hugs and sweet dreams--

NoMoBeer

I have drinking dreams.

The other night I woke up scared to death. "Oh no, I lost 6 months of sobriety, what am I going to tell my sponsor...."

Thank God it was only a dream.

Ken

Andy F

After 6 months (can't remember exactly) I woke up having dreamt I had drank, but didn't realise it was only a dream. I was so low, walking around my apartment I began planning my drinking day, if I'd had drink in the house I'd have drank it. I can't remember exactly, but it was thirty or more minutes of depressed thinking before I realised I hadn't actually drank the day before.

wantneeda

woah Andy!!!!
that would be nasty!!!
glad you realized before you drank!!

Time2Surrender

I guess we all have them.I know Ive had my share.They can be scary,but its a relief when you wake up and realize it was only a dream.

Stoic

A few weeks ago we had two other couples over for dinner. After dinner we moved to the living room to sit and talk, and one of the husbands, who had already enjoyed several glasses of wine, brought a full glass with him. When I asked the others if they'd like some single malt, they turned it down, but he asked for some even though he still had some wine in his glass. And despite the fact I made no more offers, he asked for two more glasses after that. He'd have continued if the other couple hadn't seen what was happening and decided to call it an evening.

That night, for the first time in months, I dreamed that I was drinking again, and even felt intoxicated in my dream! I felt terrible, thinking "Oh God, what have I done!" Then I woke up, to the enormous relief that I was still sober and working the steps. Scared the hell out of me.

At my next meeting, I told the story, and learned from the others present how common this is. Perhaps it's a good thing, a painful but useful reminder of "what we were like."