pearl

Well, I made it through a very important test today...I live in Hawaii and they sell alcohol at grocery stores, drugstores, 7/11's, gas stations etc. We literally had nothing to eat in the house, my husband's been very supportive and has done the shopping, but I thought I'd give it a try today since he was working at a remote site. The thing is, I spent a goodly part of yesterday planning my drunk for today while he is gone. Since he gets home at 6PM if I left for the store early enough I would hopefully be sober to cook dinner and not be sloshed! I began to drool just thinking about a stiff scotch (that would be right after the 1st cup of coffee). Made me feel like Pavlov's dog.

Anyway, I thought it through, logged on to SR, and wrote in my journal.

I was able to do my shopping and was proud to accomplish this mundane task without cruising down the liquor aisle.

Reading through my journal this morning I had to take a look at some of my past 'excuses to drink...

I have PMS, works part of the month

I have my cycle, this works part of the month too

I'm peri-menopausal, this covers the other 2 weeks of the month very nicely

the weather is too hot/makes me irritable...well I do live in the sub-tropics

the list went on and on... it was a real eye opener... I would prefer to be in control of my life instead of letting alcohol. This forum and the stories and advice that have been shared with me are so helpful. I also have an appt. this week with a psychologist who specializes in addiction and recovery.

Thanks for letting me share...I feel stronger today!
Pearl

Cathy31

Wow pearl, that is SO awesome!! Thanks for sharing it with us! Great to see you think it through, and to acknowledge triggers. do you find the journal helps a lot? I feel good too went to a great meeting tonight and the gym and knew that at least I would NOT be drinking today! YAY!
Cathy31
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pearl

Cathy, I'm glad to hear you had a good day!
Yes the journal helps alot...provides alot of insights about how out of control my life was and reinforces why I need to stay sober. I've regained some control but am embaressed to think that I couldn't even do something as simple as grocery shopping. Trying to forgive myself, trust in God and learn.
I've been to a few AA meetings too. That's also helpful.

have a great day!

P

hopealwayz

Pearl, way to go on thinking it thru to the end. It always seems appealing but the end results are devestating. Happy for you.

Time4Me11

Way to go Pearl!

I also shared here about my first succesful trip to the market! No shame...just a little humor about the rediculous situations we find ourselves in often helps.

Have a good day.

CarolD

Hi Pearl...Wonderful! You are really moving ahead.

Oh ues...journaling is a super idea. And AA meetings are vital to my continuing sobriety. The 2 things in combo are powerful aids.

Blessings...

llenroc66

Liquor at the grocery store or 7/11... That would scare the H out of me! I remember finding myself at an actual liquor store counter (having not drunk yet) and wondering, "When did I decide to come here?"

Anyway... Good job! Every little success is BIG.

mackat

great post-

rehab exercise was to write out those 'special' occasions where i felt that alcohol had been necessary.

when i finished my list- everything from "with dinner" to "replacing dinner";
"sex" to "no sex"; "work " to "no work" - seemed like i covered most of what i did....

splendra

Cathy31

Hey you guys
Jsut checking in...tonight my H got himself some wine....for years he has been the one regulating my drinking...ie if he said it was ok we were going to get wine, it was ok. If he said no I had to GRIT my teeth and bear it (or I used to sneak it, always got caught albeit most times I only had time to drink one bottle SUPER FAST!)

Anyway, he is not an A and he decided to get some wine - and asked if I wanted...and you know I really didn't want to ... but for so long if he said it was ok, I felt OK about drinking.

Anyway!!! Cut a long story short - I know you are all in suspense here, lol - I just said no. It is the first time that I have said NO for me (I did do it once before but that's cause I had an AA meeting the next day and didn't want to let people down, it wasn't for me, per se) when alcohol has been available in my home.

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!!!! AND HAPPY THAT I DID NOT DRINK

Of course he had 3/4 of the bottle and then made some coffee..the point was I COULD HAVE drank, and I didn't! I even chatted to him for a bit no problem. God gave me the strength - to be honest my nose was curling up a bit at the smell!!!!!!!!!!

YAY I AM SO HAPPY!!!! This is a real NEW ONE for me, it's usually my H begging ME not to drink - not me saying - for ME - not thanks.

Just as an aside, I had a little accident a couple of hours before and fell down the last 3 stairs of our staircase, got quite badly bruised and shaken, that could have atrtributed to my abstinence, the fact i didn't feel 100% physically. GOD Works in mysterious ways!!!!!!!!

lots of love
cathy31
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