Cajun girl

I know that I need to get off this rollercoaster. It seems when the co-dep. starts exercising boundaries, the A doesn't like it one bit. My A announced yesturday that he wasn't sure if he could "do" our relationship any longer. He checked into a hotel and said he needed some time to think. He states that it is not me and my kids, but him whose attitude is messed up. Inside I agree. I have tried not to notice, but of course being the expert snoop that I've learned to be, have noted he hasn't attended AA mtgs in over a week. His big book and Bible are right where he left them on the counter over 3 wks. ago. His sponsor fired him because of his relapses about 2 months ago and he hasn't found a replacement. Yikes. I could go on and on and on with more details of "him not working his program". I am going to Al-anon here 3 times a week and trying so hard to focus on me. I'm scared to death he won't want to come back, get drunk again, etc., etc., etc. I've been praying to God to give me the courage to let go this w/e and give him his space. (He won't answer my calls anyway) (he turned his cell off). Any suggestions for this flare-uP?

osier59

Oh Cajun Girl,

I wish I was there in person to give you a big hug. It's SO painful when the people we love are going through their icky stuff... my sponsor told me once that if I did things for my loved ones that they could do themselves that I was actually crippling them instead of helping!

It sounds like being apart for awhile is a good thing. IF possible, concentrate on taking care of you. Take the energy you used to keep up with him and HIS stuff and apply it to YOUR recovery.

Remember, you don't have to make any big decisions today. Just for today you can concentrate on your own recovery.

HUGS
Osier59

Ann

CajunGirl

I can't add much to what Osier said, but I can send a hug and tell you we care. My prayers are with you.

**********{CAJUN GIRL}}}}}}}

JT

CajunGirl,

Unfortunately there is not alot you can do about this turn of events, so you really have no choice but to let it go. If you read the posts here from ladies who's A's are calling and pleading I am sure you will not want to go there.

Loke Osier said...put your energy into YOU. Redouble your efforts and your reading about the subjcts that are popping up right now. Make phone calls to other Al Annon members and by all means share with us. We are here for you!

(((HUGS)))
JT

Cajun girl

Thanks for all your support. Letting go has never been my strong suit. I plan on renting a movie and cutting out a new outfit tonight. Thanks again