I did not want to derail another thread, so here are my thoughts
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chaos City
Posts: 605
I did not want to derail another thread, so here are my thoughts
There is one thing that erks me more than anything is that the A in my life tells me that I am boring. hmmmmmmmmmmmm
I think he is boring, because that is all he ever wants to do is sit around and get wasted with the neighbors, he consider's that fun.
There are so many other things that you could do that is real fun, he is the one that is boring, and of course if they are at a bar drinking with a bunch of other women, and men, they are having a blast, because they are acting stupid, doing stupid things or spend their time cutting down other people to make themselves feel better. (he does the same thing at the neighbors).
I also like the fact that I know what I am going to wake up to the next day, they say for every beer you drink the girl looks better and better.
That is opposite of fun for me, I dont enjoy drinking, I dont enjoy getting stupid, I dont enjoy talking about other people, and I dont enjoy the hangover the next day. I also dont want to spend half my life in bed recouping for the next drunking espisode.
Okay, sorry I will stop, I hope I didnt offend anyone, my personal feeling just bursting out of me today
I think he is boring, because that is all he ever wants to do is sit around and get wasted with the neighbors, he consider's that fun.
There are so many other things that you could do that is real fun, he is the one that is boring, and of course if they are at a bar drinking with a bunch of other women, and men, they are having a blast, because they are acting stupid, doing stupid things or spend their time cutting down other people to make themselves feel better. (he does the same thing at the neighbors).
I also like the fact that I know what I am going to wake up to the next day, they say for every beer you drink the girl looks better and better.
That is opposite of fun for me, I dont enjoy drinking, I dont enjoy getting stupid, I dont enjoy talking about other people, and I dont enjoy the hangover the next day. I also dont want to spend half my life in bed recouping for the next drunking espisode.
Okay, sorry I will stop, I hope I didnt offend anyone, my personal feeling just bursting out of me today
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: CA
Posts: 109
What does he know!!! You can see its not fun! Its definately not fun being on the receiving end either!! Its not funny the next morning with a hellish hangover nor is it fun when you cant remember what happened! Let him have his "fun".
You do not sound boring. You sound like a fantastic person who doesnt need this. Get out there and make your own fun!! Be happy!
You do not sound boring. You sound like a fantastic person who doesnt need this. Get out there and make your own fun!! Be happy!
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Okay - this is an all time first for me but I've been reading your posts and forgive me if I'm wrong but......
Your husband sounds like a 22 carat A$$HOLE!! It sounds to me like his bloody self image is built not by him doing anything to be proud of but by convincing himself (unfortunately out loud) that you aren't as good as him. It sounds like he's got stuck at the mental age of twelve and in school yard bully mode!
I would suggest a token economy where if he can keep a civil mouth in his head for more than an hour he gets a sticker - if he collects five stickers he gets a lollipop.
Like I said I know I could be wrong - it's just how it sounds to me.
Your husband sounds like a 22 carat A$$HOLE!! It sounds to me like his bloody self image is built not by him doing anything to be proud of but by convincing himself (unfortunately out loud) that you aren't as good as him. It sounds like he's got stuck at the mental age of twelve and in school yard bully mode!
I would suggest a token economy where if he can keep a civil mouth in his head for more than an hour he gets a sticker - if he collects five stickers he gets a lollipop.
Like I said I know I could be wrong - it's just how it sounds to me.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 346
Glad you're here. Critical behavior is a must in the drunken world because it makes them feel better about their low self image.
What do you want for you in this life? That will be a big question because it only involves your feelings. Don't factor him in as only he can decide whether your relationship is valuable to him. That begins the process. Good luck!
What do you want for you in this life? That will be a big question because it only involves your feelings. Don't factor him in as only he can decide whether your relationship is valuable to him. That begins the process. Good luck!
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 928
my ex ABF always just "wanted to be happy" and have fun. But he never really got anything done.
I used to get more accomplished in one day then my exABF has in months..I don't think he ever realized how much MORE energy he would have without the alcohol..he was always complaining he didn't have enough time..funny, the couple of times he tried to control his drinking he always noticed how he got more done..
I used to get more accomplished in one day then my exABF has in months..I don't think he ever realized how much MORE energy he would have without the alcohol..he was always complaining he didn't have enough time..funny, the couple of times he tried to control his drinking he always noticed how he got more done..
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lancaster
Posts: 120
The older I get the better "boring" sounds. I had enough excitment to last a lifetime. And I had a hell of a time doing it but that was along time ago. Don't get me wrong I still enjoy having a good time as much as the next guy but the kind of activities your husband considers fun and exciting are just sort of sad to me. Sure the occasional going out with a group of friends can be a lot of fun but going to the same bar, with the same friends, telling the same jokes, reminicing about the same "good old days" (of sorry I'm talking about by exABF) is just boring. I like trying new things and that doesn't mean just going to a different bar to get drunk. If I were you I wouldn't be the least bit worried about being boring!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 10
Hi Emily
I'm boring aswell, apparently. I'm boring according to my H when I gave up smoking, because in turn, that meant I didn't drink as much. For me the two went together, when I had a drink, I also had a cigarette. Now I avoid bars, because I want to remain healthier.
To quote my H 'You were so much more exciting when you used to smoke and come out more'. Guess he really cares about my health eh?
Sounds like both our husbands are extremely self absorbed.
S
I'm boring aswell, apparently. I'm boring according to my H when I gave up smoking, because in turn, that meant I didn't drink as much. For me the two went together, when I had a drink, I also had a cigarette. Now I avoid bars, because I want to remain healthier.
To quote my H 'You were so much more exciting when you used to smoke and come out more'. Guess he really cares about my health eh?
Sounds like both our husbands are extremely self absorbed.
S
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Just thinking, what would happen if you just said, "Gee! Thank you, I have wanted to be boring, one can really relax that way" Would'nt it be fun to see his face if you could say this, sounding very sincere.
I kinda suspect he would give that up and try to think of something different. They use this crap for many reasons, Maybe next fault he finds just say "You might be right, I will really think about it."
Sound like fun??? You have to go with your gut of course, and don't try if would put you in any kind of danger.
Best for you always clancy46
I kinda suspect he would give that up and try to think of something different. They use this crap for many reasons, Maybe next fault he finds just say "You might be right, I will really think about it."
Sound like fun??? You have to go with your gut of course, and don't try if would put you in any kind of danger.
Best for you always clancy46
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