feeling so stupid
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: kirkland wa
Posts: 2
feeling so stupid
Well here I am feeling so stupid for never realizing what was going on! When I got a phone call from my mom last thurs around 12:30 am saying that my dad was unconcious on the floor my first thought was that he had a stroke, heartattack??? Never would I have guess that he had a blood alcohol level of .462!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought he was much of a drinker he usually had lemonaide when we would get together for dinner. As my mom and I look back it turns out that we have had some serious blinders on! No he never drinks in front of us nor goes anywhere and drinks, we suspect its always been in the garage. We even thought that he had parkinson's this past year as his balance was so off that the dr's said it just might be. I know my dad suffers from depression but I guess I never thought he would drink along with it...
So we have him home from his 18 hour stay in the ER and my mom allowed him to run to the barber shop real quick however on the way home he picked up more alcohol and she caught him with it and took it away, not before he went through 2 bottles however! He says that he wants to quit but will only do an outpatient program (mind you money is no object here) and we would like him to do inpatient. To top it all off my mom does not walk, she has MS and drives a scooter and does very well but it not supposed to have a lot of stress in her life. I guess I just don't understand how he could be in the ER one day almost dead and drinking the next! I am very new to this!!!
So we have him home from his 18 hour stay in the ER and my mom allowed him to run to the barber shop real quick however on the way home he picked up more alcohol and she caught him with it and took it away, not before he went through 2 bottles however! He says that he wants to quit but will only do an outpatient program (mind you money is no object here) and we would like him to do inpatient. To top it all off my mom does not walk, she has MS and drives a scooter and does very well but it not supposed to have a lot of stress in her life. I guess I just don't understand how he could be in the ER one day almost dead and drinking the next! I am very new to this!!!
Hadlbran
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 8
((((HUGS))))
I have been in your shoes! My step-dad is an alcoholic. Granted he is in recovery and has been for years and years - but I know first hand how scary that must have been with him on the floor with a .462. My step-dad passed out on the floor with a .51! It TRULY is a miracle he is still here today!
My step-dad also refused to do treatment programs. He went through 2. The first one - on his way home from being released - he stopped and bought alcohol. He didn't want to go in to the program - but my mom had an intervention and basically forced him to go. I was too young to remember - and I know my mom didn't have us kids present during the intervention. In fact I guess he had 2 interventions because he DID NOT want to go through treatment!
Second time he went through the program - he did okay - but he still fell off the wagon. It was VERY difficult for him to quit. I think his defining moment was when he had to get stomach surgery because the alcohol had eaten away the lining of his stomach. Every time he drank he would bleed internally. To this day he STILL has trouble with his stomach - and most recently just had more surgery - not because he was drinking - but just scar tissue and such related to that time in his life.
My step dad has been "sober" (off an on - but more on than off) for the past 15 years I'd say. But let me tell you - it was a hard road - especially for my mother. It's a miracle they are still together!
What I would suggest to you - go through meetings of your own. Al-anon will really open your eyes to even more - and will really put a lot of things into perspective for you. I went to Al-anon as a young child (and alateen) but it wasn't until I started going again recently for my best friend - that I learned A LOT more about my step-dad.
I think going through your own recovery is VERY important and I think it will also help your mom as well!
(((((((HUGS))))))))))) I understand your pain and I understand that feeling in your gut right now!
Keep posting and check out a meeting if you can!
I have been in your shoes! My step-dad is an alcoholic. Granted he is in recovery and has been for years and years - but I know first hand how scary that must have been with him on the floor with a .462. My step-dad passed out on the floor with a .51! It TRULY is a miracle he is still here today!
My step-dad also refused to do treatment programs. He went through 2. The first one - on his way home from being released - he stopped and bought alcohol. He didn't want to go in to the program - but my mom had an intervention and basically forced him to go. I was too young to remember - and I know my mom didn't have us kids present during the intervention. In fact I guess he had 2 interventions because he DID NOT want to go through treatment!
Second time he went through the program - he did okay - but he still fell off the wagon. It was VERY difficult for him to quit. I think his defining moment was when he had to get stomach surgery because the alcohol had eaten away the lining of his stomach. Every time he drank he would bleed internally. To this day he STILL has trouble with his stomach - and most recently just had more surgery - not because he was drinking - but just scar tissue and such related to that time in his life.
My step dad has been "sober" (off an on - but more on than off) for the past 15 years I'd say. But let me tell you - it was a hard road - especially for my mother. It's a miracle they are still together!
What I would suggest to you - go through meetings of your own. Al-anon will really open your eyes to even more - and will really put a lot of things into perspective for you. I went to Al-anon as a young child (and alateen) but it wasn't until I started going again recently for my best friend - that I learned A LOT more about my step-dad.
I think going through your own recovery is VERY important and I think it will also help your mom as well!
(((((((HUGS))))))))))) I understand your pain and I understand that feeling in your gut right now!
Keep posting and check out a meeting if you can!
Caring for the 3 little bears
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Oz
Posts: 509
mystere, the reason you "don't understand this" is because it is not understandable. It is a disease like no other. And, there is nothing you or your mom can do to make him stop. Maybe you can buy and read some books about alcoholism and then lend them to your mom.
It is an insane disease and if the family members don't seek help for themselves, they can also get caught up in the insanity of it. I have been where your mother is, checking for booze, finding it, throwing it away, and he would always get more. WE CAN NOT CONTROL IT. My husband was in a horrible, almost tragic car wreck with our children and he still drinks. And drives. He has been to the E.R. five times in the past couple months due to too much drinking, thinking his heart was going to stop or possible seizures or just unconscious. He continues to drink. It is crazy. But, there is hope for you and your mom. Read read read all you can about alcoholism and find a support group, whether it is alanon or some church's have support groups for families suffering with addiction. Wishing you peace!
It is an insane disease and if the family members don't seek help for themselves, they can also get caught up in the insanity of it. I have been where your mother is, checking for booze, finding it, throwing it away, and he would always get more. WE CAN NOT CONTROL IT. My husband was in a horrible, almost tragic car wreck with our children and he still drinks. And drives. He has been to the E.R. five times in the past couple months due to too much drinking, thinking his heart was going to stop or possible seizures or just unconscious. He continues to drink. It is crazy. But, there is hope for you and your mom. Read read read all you can about alcoholism and find a support group, whether it is alanon or some church's have support groups for families suffering with addiction. Wishing you peace!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: kirkland wa
Posts: 2
thank you for your replies it really does help, I am going to look into finding a group that I can go to and learn more, its so overwhelming right now and honestly I don't know anything about it! Its really horrible cause I feel if my dad had cancer I could go to my friends for support but I just don't think they would understand this... wow that sound horrible!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
