hopealwayz

I am embarrased to admit this but from Monday-Friday last week I was on pain pills *BUT* I wasn't "in pain". At least not in the physical sense. I had 60 Vicodin and I just popped them like candy all week. By the end of the week, I wasn't getting the feeling that I wanted, so I starting popping more at a time. Or, I was taking them ever hour or two.

Cocaine was my DOC, never had a previous problem with the pain meds. But I was wondering if my consumption of these pills last week has anything to do with how depressed and out of it I feel now. I cried all weekend, non stop over a situation. But I wasn't that depressed until the day after I stopped the meds on Friday.

I'm in a mental fog, couldn't even answer the simplest question today in class. I'm so out of it. I can't remember anything. I feel terrible right now. Physically and mentally.

I only took them for a week, but took too many at a time. Why did they mess me up so badly after one week?

Paulie

Well in my opinion the answer is because you are an addict and the opportunity was there.

Is it over? is it the end? no, you are alive, there is hope for recovery.

The fog will clear, just like it did when you stopped coke. Today you start again. Today you ask your HP for help and you do exactly what you already did, you get honest about it. That is the first step.

So now what? Last week is not what is important, what is important is today, it is important that just for today you dont' use anything.

I am proud of you and your honesty.

april*rain

narcotic painkillers are highly addictive..which is why they are only prescribed for moderate/severe pain. my addiction started with taking them when i did need them for pain..then i continued to take them after i needed them and then i got more and when my doctor wouldn't give me anymore i found them other places. if you do anything like that for a week strait it will f* you up so it doesn't surprise me. i stopped taking pills about a year ago but i took lots everyday for about 6 months and i still think about them almost every day because i miss how they made me feel. do yourself a favor and stay far, far, away.

hopealwayz

My stomach has been hurting ever since then. I think the meds have irritated my stomach lining.

I took them for real pain once and then stopped...I returned right back to normal in my life.

Another time (last week) I abused them and tooks lots at a time....Now I'm not returning to normal and back to my life so quickly.

I'm confused: when I took them as prescribed and ran out, the depression wasn't there. When I took lots of them at one time and ran out, I hit a severely low depression.

My question is: How does taking meds as prescribed and taking a lot at one time differ in regards to how they affect brain chemicals?

Paulie

I am not a dr, I don't know medically how they affect your brain chemicals. But as an addict I DO KNOW that when I abuse drugs it affects my spirit and that definately brings me down.

KEEGANSDAD

Hi Hope,

I did the same thing but it took 6 years and a COMA
And then the threat of loosing my Family, to finally stop.

Even after a week -our bodies Scream for more
Because they are real addictive.

Please Trust me, Stop now before you can’t!

Keegansdad,

Morgan

Blue2085

today is my first day off lorcet! not a good day for me
my confession! i also take many at a time.

detroit rock chick

quercusalba

Hope -

I can't answer the medical question... but I think that probably because you were taking more than what the prescribed dose was, more frequently than that medication should be taken, that's why you are having these aftereffects. Essentially, you were overdosing on the meds. I would guess that as long as you don't take any more, the effects will clear up within a few days. It takes awhile for the body to bounce back from abuse... I know this from my own experience.

I'm proud of you for being honest about this here. I hope you feel better soon.

take care of yourself,
anne

shestruggles

Just my 2 cents - but the fact that you did the right (tough) thing by posting your 'confession' here, shows that you recognized the addict in you rearing it's ugly head once again. That's good. Hopefully you know that it doesn't matter if it's you DOC or any other drug ...a drug is a drug is drug, right?
Actaully, I don't really feel right posting sayings like that as I am so new in terms of recovery. But, I am very guilty of crossover addiction when I get my DOC out of my system in the past, so I just think it's cool that you sorta recognized what was happening.
I am no medic, but if you take more than the prescribed dose (sometimed even at the prescribed dose) you will feel w/d's, even after just a week. 60 Vicoden over 7 days is a whole lotta painkiller in your system. I am certain that's why you feel like you're in a fog, and 'depresed'. Pain pills have a way of making everything seem peachy. Reality can be a bit of a letdown after a week of happy time. I am certain some of the other members know more of the 'brain chemistry' of it all, which I won't even attempt to explain, as I'm sure to mess it up. (My own brain chemistry is more than a little off right now due to - yep, gettin those painpills otta my system...)
Good Luck & good for posting here. It's important to feel like we can come here when we've messed up, to get some re-assurance and support in starting over again!
Much Love: SS

mackcat

-
many pain meds are of the opiate family, opiates be powerfully addicting.
in NA , we know that using any meds outside doctors orders means we are in abuse mode [we are also really good at 'playing' docs for lots o scripts-nother story].
which means we are feeding our disease of addiction.

please read keegansdad- his experience is exactly like one of my sponsees last year .

mackat

Richie

I have had experiences with vicodin over the years,Hope.They are highly addictive and tolerance increases quickly.When you stop from heavy usage you will go through withdrawal.Best thing for people like us is to use tylenol or advil for pain and leave the prescription drugs alone.
Take care of yourself and God bless you.

hopealwayz

Withdrawals are not fun. My body is probably pretty angry with me right now for abusing in last week. I stayed clean today and when I wake up tomorrow, I will stay clean that day also.

And by the time I ran out, I wasn't even feeling any high. My tolerance probably skyrocketed. That is somewhere I never want go to again.

Not worth it at all.

indigo

You keep up your resolve not to use.....you can do it.....know it.

love and support indigo

luluabel

(((Hope)))cant offer you any advice hun but can offer love & support hang in there Hope ........Love Luluxxxxxx

Paulie

That is what we all need to remember.

CAPTAINZING2000

Hope

**{HUGS}}

it takes an adult to admit to a mistake. You know the only thing keeping me in the doors? I'm afraid my pride would stop me from coming back in.


I'm glad you're here

Keep coming back ok


chris

Ama

Sending you huge big Amatronic Cuddles - Hope you will be just fine - just take it one day at a time and learn from the past. That is what I am doing and got my 4 months last Friday Yee haw.......

hopealwayz

(((Ama))) Wow, 4 months!!! Now that is an accomplishment. Hey hon, I'm right behind ya! Well, I'll be where you are in 4 months. I'm gonna keep walking the straight line and really do this thing. And stay away from ANYTHING that alters my mind because that is what got me here back to this place.

I didn't pick up my DOC or have a drink, but a little bottle of pills relocated my sobriety date and I learned my lesson quick!

Love,
Hope

exlibris

Hey Hope!

I just focus on one day. There are times when the urge comes on to drink and I just say, "Get through today." It's not easy. I might go out and get some ice cream - thank God for ice cream - really love Starbucks Coffee Ice Cream! I can do it and so can you!

And yea for my dear Ama!

Richard

CAPTAINZING2000

Ama,

way to go Irish Lass

keep coming back