luvmyfurbabies

Hi everyone, I haven't been here for awhile and posted for the first time in months the other day about how my AH won't do anything around the house. Well, last night he proceeds to tell me that he hasn't been feeling well. So I go through the "do you hurt anywhere, do you have a headache, blurred vision" and so on. He says he's just really tired. I say I'm going to make a doctors appt. for you. He's only been twice in 9 years for back pain. Hasn't had a physical in about 15 years. He's 39. I make the appointment today, tell him when I get home and he says "I'm not going". Arrrrrgghh!!!! He's still felt good enough to drink everyday though. I read Osiers post "Step 1" and realize just how much I do need to be here. I am so frustrated, depressed, overwhelmed, blah, blah, blah I don't know what to do. I feel like screaming. I'm going to have a pity party now. I work 4 days a week, take care of my mother who lives in a mother-in-law apartment attached to our garage, try to take care of my father who has issues and is about to get evicted from his apartment, do all the errands, wash everyones clothes, do the grocery shopping, clean the house, pay the bills, take the car in for maintenance, and so on. He doesn't drive. It's up to me to do EVERY freaking thing that needs to be done. I might as well live alone. The only thing is, he's a hard worker (concrete finisher) and a good cook. So, now we are not speaking because I care enough about him to want him to go to the doctor. I'm just about at the end of my rope. I'm pretty much a loner so no close friends with shoulders to cry on. I'm not a cryer anyway. Oh, and I also take care of 7 cats and 2 dogs, but they're mine. But they still need feeding and shots, and baths and cleaning up after. I know I'm rambling and I'm sorry but I really need to get this all out. What I need to do is start the 12 steps and take a vacation. Haven't had a real vacation in 10 years. Is this what my life has become? I turned 45 last Sunday and what did I do? I worked my a$$ off all day cleaning. Calgon take me away. Does anyone understand all of this???? OK, I'm done for now.

JT

Yup, I do. You are taking care of everyone else and not yourself. Doing the things that other people are able to do for themselves does not help them and it hurts you. I would take a hard look at that list and start checking the things off that if you did not do them life would not end as you know it. I was amazed that when I stopped running the show that it kept on going!

Hugs,
JT

Oh and cancel that appt...LOL! He's not going to go! Ward works concrete too. He didn't take his sleep apnea seriously until some football player died!

myselfagain

Yep, that was me, same as you. So why was mine still around, i dunno know.
I woke up one morning 2 yrs ago and decided today is the day, I told him we were getting a divorce. He did everything in his power to get me to change my mind including quiting. The crap had gone on toooooo long though, I was done.
Divorce was final last year. And now what? He is miserable and I am am happy go lucky as I can be. And ya know what , when he moved out I did not pick up any extra chores around here. WHY? Because he didnt do anything other than bring home a big paycheck. Oh, and drink.
I have over the years remodeled the entire house by myself while he sat on the couch and watched TV or was out working OT. He was one who started drinking after the kids were in bed and drank till he passed out somewhere, then wake up and come to bed 3 4 5 in the morning.
sorry, no kind words for AHs tonite.
oh yeah, he did tell me while were divorcing, " I knew you were not happy for the last few years but I wasnt ready to quit drinking" That one line really pissed me off.