luvmyfurbabies

Hi everyone, I haven't been here in what seems like forever. I've been trying to catch up on all the posts. My ABF is now my AH. After almost 10 years together we finally got married. I have "almost" learned to detach and "almost" accept him for what he is. He is a hard worker, good provider, calm alcoholic. He doesn't yell, scream, throw tantrums, berate me, or any of that stuff. He just drinks every day. What I need advice with is how to handle this....when we bought our house almost 9 years ago it needed some work done to it. Well, 9 years later it still needs work done to it only now it needs more work done to it. I work for a real estate company and the termite guy we use came out a few weeks ago to check for termites. No termites, BUT we have mold on one side of the house. My A seems to think it's no big deal but I do because I know what mold can do to a house. And we also have a soft spot in the floor of our half bath. I want to hire someone to do all of this work for us and A doesn't want me to. I am so frustrated by all of this I don't know what to do. I have also fallen into a depression and can't seem to shake it. I took Lexapro back in the fall because of my father (he has issues and I'm his only caregiver). I weaned myself off of it and would never take it again because of the withdrawal. I'm also trying to quit smoking and actually went for 4 days before the monster dragged me back in. I look happy on the outside and feel so sad and alone on the inside. My A doesn't understand (or doesn't want to) how I feel. I guess that's just a man problem whether he's an A or not. Any suggestions? Would you go ahead and get someone to do what you want done or just wait until your A gets ready? I know this is kind of off topic but someone has to know how I feel.

Gabe

Why doesn't he want you to hire a contractor?
Because he says he will do it himself?
Give him a time frame.
Tell him that's fine with you if it gets done in the next month, and if it doesn't, you're going with the contractor.
That's fair.
It gives him a chance to do it and you a chance to get it done if he falls short.

JessicaNAJ

Good suggestion Gabe....I wish I could be better about time frames.

Another suggestion, do the work yourself. Home Depot can tell you exactly what you need to do and give a list of what you need to do the work. (I know this b/c of my budget, I have no choice but to do things myself ). It gives me a feeling of satisfaction to know that I can do it!!