Veronica

My AH was recently downsized from his company. He's been sober a little over 4 months and is really staying focused on his program during this trying time. Financially, we are fine - God's timing could have been more perfect (he was downsized the week after we paid off all of our student loans!). Anyway, he seems to be getting really depressed. He recognizes it too & is talking to his sponsor. I can't do anything to fix the situation. I've been really good about Letting Go & Letting God, but for some reason, his depression makes me want to revert to my old ways. I don't know what to do. I can't control his depression. I can't control him. But all of the anxiety of feeling like I need to control it are coming back up. Any suggestions on how to deal with this??

equus

Veronica,

If the two of you are talking about it, then you're going a long way to being of some help. No, you can't control it but as a partner you can stay positive (which I just got told on another thread!!) and that means a lot.

My husband has been diagnosed with depression more times than you can shake a stick at!! He has to deal with it but while he does I make sure his cuddle quota doesn't fall!!

gelfling

Ask him if he's willing to see your family doctor. I suppose he/she would be able to prescribe something that would help.

cwohio

i agree with kathy - suggesting a visit to the dr. isn't being CoDe, if you make the appt. for him and take him then that might be.

Veronica

Thank everyone for your suggestions - I really appreciate them. My AH is on antidepressants, which work really well for him and he's been on them for some time. I think this bought of depression is caused solely by his job loss. I understand the feeling - I was unemployed once for 6 months and I was incredibly depressed. I will stay positive and encourage him.

FriendofBill

I cant control another disease (alcoholism or depression) anymore than he can control my menstrual cramps, headaches, bloatiness or vericose veins ( NOT that I have any of those things .

I can suggest whats worked for ME when I suffered from depression (Meds, therapy) and let him make his own decision if he wants to try those.

If he doesnt, then I have to accept that. Period. End of story.

Then...I have to detach. From his depression, from his choices.
If I dont, then I will plug my end of my codie IV directly into his illness, and then we will have TWO sick people.

Live and let live.....accept whatever HE chooses to do about it. Just like alcoholism, he must make the choice to seek help for whatever illness he has.