JessicaNAJ

Just an update...

I have no idea if AH has to work tonight (second job). I didn't call to ask or see if he wanted me to call him to wake him up. (Yes, I am worried...not my problem, I know. But I am worried.)

If he wants my help....he will ask.

Now, I just have to keep myself preoccupied for the next 15 minutes or so, because if he does have to work, he'd start at 10:00.

sigh.... If he wants my help....he will ask.

Damn CoDe habits

CodeMaster

You got it... your doing it right... it is exactly what I've figured out with my ex, I dont bother her anymore. If she wants to hang out or any help, she'll ask. Meanwhile, why wait around waiting for any communication? Me, I've already detached, sure I'd enjoy her friendship very much and hope for more, but I'm busy improving myself to wait around for the phone to ring and to obsess over things I have no control over anyways.

Enjoy life! So much to do out there... I'm going to warm up a little, then workout!

queenofthehwy

Jessica,
This made me think of something I always do and I just realized it. Like tonight I had to go to the store, so I call and ask if he needs anything, nope, okay bye. But no I just couldn't let it go I call him back and ask again, this time suggesting things he might want, what the hell is that, like I didn't think he was capable of telling me himself.
Thanks for the wake up call, geez if he needs something let him ask.

ASpouse

Jessica,

Good girl! This is a big step and you did it. It gets easier as you keep doing it. If you are always there and available to "help" him, he will never ever help himself.

Believe me, I know it was hard but give yourself a great big pat on the back because you did it!

QueenoftheHwy ....... you got it ..... now remember this and do it! It takes a lot of practice and time, but remember he's a grown up and knows how to take of himself and if he doesn't, well it's time he learned don't you think?

JessicaNAJ

I had to laugh out loud because that was soooo me!! I'd do that all the time and get frustrated with him b/c he wouldn't tell me what he wanted when "I KNEW" he did.

If I spent as much time thinking for myself as I did (and sometimes still do) for him, I'd be a lot further along in all this.

I agree ASpouse....He's a big boy if he wants something bad enough he'll ask.

ps....CodeMaster, I wasted a whole bunch of time waiting for that damn phone to ring and when it did, I was too frustrated to talk. I'm glad I was able to let go of that one!!! Now I feel like, if he calls, he calls.....whatever

cwohio

all right jess - way to go!

this is one of the codie things that i DON'T do - if i am going to the store - i ask ONCE, if there's anything he needs and if not - then he can go get it.

but.......i make up for it in some many other codie ways so i don't know.....

keep it up!!!!