april*rain

i've been really upbeat for the past day or so i thought everything was going to be better. today i feel so down and i'm really not feeling the whole sobriety thing. i guess i thought i was cured but i guess have a long way to go. why is this so hard?? i'll be damned if i ever find myself at the bottom of a bottle again but sh8t if it ain't hard. missed my best friend's bday party sat night because i knew it was going to be too much temptation. she understands why i have to do this but i know she was still hurt...i would be too. i miss drinking, ect. but i know i just can't do it anymore. AAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
thanks for letting me vent. it helps. i think.

LettingGo

Hey April Rain....
It gets better. Doesn't seem like it right now Im sure but it does. Have you ever been to any kind of AA meeting or anything? Sometimes that is the ONLY thing in this world that can make me feel better from the inside out. Another thing I always have to remember is that I only have to worry about today. When I start thinking about how "this whole sobriety thing" will affect my social life, dating life, etc... then I feel overwhelmed. In reality it is just too much to absorb so I just worry about the day in front of me and it makes it do-able. Keep posting here too.... these boards are a life saver!

quercusalba

A little advice from someone in early recovery (that's me)... try to get through the emotions - they'll come and go like the wind. I had just posted about this yesterday because I have some of the same problems, in that I'm an emotional roller coaster. Emotions are fleeting things... sobriety is forever, one day at a time, if we work for it. You can't always feel upbeat, and sometimes you'll feel downright bad; these are the times to brace yourself for. It is hard. But it's not impossible. Do you go to AA meetings? They really do help.

wishing you well,
anne

llenroc66

Sounds like you ARE feeling it!

Vent away! I have many of the same feelings you do and are glad you are sharing.

2dayzmuse

The first few months of sobriety are tough. Getting in touch with our emotions again can be confusing and frustrating. After numbing and stuffing our feelings with alcohol over a long period of time, they become overwhelming and seem impossible to manage. You will get a handle on things again. Like LettingGo stated, worry about today. Take it one day at a time and little by little you'll regain control of your emotions that continue to bounce up and down. As for being cured...we are never cured, only given a daily reprieve. We must continue to work at sobriety each and every day to achieve and maintain it. The illusion of being cured will only get you drunk again. Find strength, work a program and never give up. It does get better. It takes allot of work, but it's well worth it.

CAPTAINZING2000

Glad your friend is understanding. This a crazy life we lead. Drinking makes us feel good to a point and then, it takes the ladder out from us . Is there things you and your friend can do just the two of you to make up for the party. We don't have to be lepers because we don't drink.

I've got a wedding I'm going to Sat. The reception is at a V.F.W I'll go eat and congratulate the bride and groom. Depending on how drunk every one gets I'll stay or go.

There will come a time in your sobriety you'll be able to attend functions. You made the right choice not to go. Your sobriety comes first.

You did good.

lindee29

I agree with you that this is a great place just to vent...but to my suprise the advice that people give you will help as well. You have to remember why you quit in the first place. You have to remember that your life is even better when you can remember it and not when it is in a cloud of a substance! Congrats on your hard work and I hope you continue to do well. Good-luck hunny...and hope to hear from you again!

greenbeen

hey can i vent too? life kinda sucks right now and the only thing keeoping me from gettin drunk or what not is remembering my last drink and drug. if it was really fun I would not be trying to get sober now. at least thats what i have been telling myself. everytime the thought of a drink enters my mind.

Anna

Hi April,

As others have said, there is a lot to deal with emotionally in early sobriety and it really is hard. But, you can do this. There's lots of support here, so keep visiting.

Love, Anna

lulu70

Hello April*Rain and Greenbean--Welcome to SR! And welcome to the rollercoaster ride called sobriety. I have SO been where both of you are right now. It does get better, but it takes a while. Hang on to your desire for a better, sober life. Also, as other posters have said, attending some kind of f2f support group meetings can be absolutely invaluable. I go to AA and have to say that the program has saved my life.

Hang in there, both of you--glad you are here!

Hugs--

ChrisMan

April,

I'm really just starting, too (about three weeks now) and get some pretty bad depressions going. But it helps to call a sponsor, and that's what I have been doing.

(((April))))

ChrisMan

april*rain

hey, thanks to everybody...your support always cheers me up. i have to stay up tonight and write a paper for school, which normally i'd have some ritalin to keep me alert/awake. hmm...maybe i should learn not to leave everything to the last minute.

greenbeen

thanks lulu 70 you give me hope

lulu70

You are very welcome, greenbean. Sometimes all we have is hope. Hang on to it, cherish it, and it will grow.

Hugs--

matt_w

I'm Matt and I'm an alcoholic.

Early sobriety is a bear, no doubt about it. I always felt that I didn't so much get in touch with my feelings as my feelings got in touch with me...HARD.

Two years ago I was in precisely the same state as some of you guys, and today my life is indescribably wonderful. This wholesale change is the result of joining AA and embarking on the program of action proscribed in its basic text (the Big Book). I wish I could fully communicate to you the awesome power of this way of life, and the happiness it can bring.

The only solution to alcoholism I've found is a connection to a power greater than myself. Fear of consequences or a return to my formerly drunken state are NOT enough to keep me sober, otherwise one of my many trips to hospital/jail/etc. would have gotten me sober long ago.

I suggest anyone with a problem with alcohol give AA six months of intensive effort: meetings, sponsor, steps, service. If things aren't remarkably better after that time, the bars and dope spots will still be there. I'm not selling this AA thing, I wish you happiness and success whatever your path. But this has worked for me.

there is hope, even for us hopeless drunks!

greenbeen

your right matt,they will be and life is better without them. right about know beer sound good but , i know where it takes me right the dope man.i hope this time i can get past that 8 month hump because strugglin' with the program for 3 long years drugs and alcohol have taken away from every aspect of my life from girlfriends to my music everything is and has been affeceted. still if i don't well more like we don't stay sober for today there is little chance for a bright tomorrow. keep up faith. thanks lulu70 and it is "been" 2 e's

lulu70

OOOOps! Sorry, Beener!

michski

That is such good advice!!

yours in sobriety,

Michele

greenbeen

no doubt some of the best advice out there

matt_w

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Greenbean, what are you going to do different this time?

For me, I know that to drink is to lose my friends, family, job, music, peace of mind, and probably my life. Unfortunately, this knowledge alone cannot prevent me from taking that first drink. I have a "peculiar mental twist" which causes me to forget the bad consequences of drinking at the most inopportune times. Only reliance on the God of my misunderstanding saves me from falling victim to this curious mental blind spot.

This is the meaning of powerlessness over alcohol for me: when I have a drink, I can't predict when I will stop; and I CANNOT prevent myself from taking that first drink. Quite a conundrum, no? I paraphrase the first step for myself as follows:

"You're F*cked"

Once I realize that I'm totally screwed and have no ability to fix my problem, I can start to seek that which can. This is the purpose of the twelve steps, to get me in touch with something that can fix my problem.

When I came in I was highly doubtful about this whole deal, but I was so desperate that overcame my contempt for what I believed was a load of spiritual bunkum and just did my best to do what was asked of me.

Best decision I ever made.

Best,