Julie1016

Hi everyone :-) I'm Julie. I've been posting/reading over at the family and friends board for a couple weeks now so maybe some of you "recognize" me. For those that don't here's my intro. As I said my name is Julie, I am 35, have 3 wonderful kids, a an even more terrific husband, who without him I am sure my life would be completely different. Anyway I grew up in an alcoholic home. Well I shouldn't say I grew up IN, but with having a parent(Mom) as an alcoholic. As I've gotten older I now have a sis and a brother that are also recovering alcoholics. I also have another brother that is a pothead but won't admit it. :-( My dad is the only non abusing one in the family, although as a child/teenager he did his share of abusing us kids..just in the form of hitting, thank God parents divorced when i was 3, I'm sure that saved me some. But I still got the beatin from hell when i was 16. Anyway I ened up pg at age 19, bf wanted nothing to do with the baby, wanted me just not a baby. I chose to place the child for adoption. When I was 7-1/2 months pg is when i met my now dh. We married a tad over a year after we met. I still placed my daughter for adoption, however nearly 15 years later I still talk to her on the phone at least once or twice a month. I guess I am the only child who escaped having an addiction in my family, which I thank God for each and every day. However I will admit it is NOT easy at all. My sis has been sober for 3 years and 1 month(thursday) and my oldest brother says he's been sober for 2 years this July(although no one seems to 100% believe him My mom well she has been drinking all MY life, she was an alcoholic before I was even born(born weighing a whopping 4 pounds even at full term). My mom for the very first time in my life had stayed sober from Dec 5th 2003, to about 3-1/2 weeks ago when she relapsed again. Her relapsing sent for for a tailspin :-( I mean my mom has hurt me and let me down SOOOO many times in my life with her drinking but this last relapse really really hurt me. Now I am also concerned about my sister. I KNOW there is nothing I can really do to stop her. But Sat. she went out with her bf and they each had 3 Sharp non alcoholic beers. That concerns me. I tell ya being the only family member(except my old dad) without an addiction is VERY hard on me. I do NOT drive..never have gotten my license or driven in 35 years of life) so I have a next to impossible time trying to find meetings in my area. The ones i DO find, all seem to be held at 8-8:30 at night and that is the last thing I want to do at that time of night with 3 kids at home(dh works 2nd shift). Anyway...sorry for the ramble. Just let me know if I talk to much lol.

Kahlia

I know that living with alcoholics and addicts is NO fun...my whole family is like yours. Mom has let me down plenty..I do not trust her anymore....never thought I would say that about my own Mother....it is sad, but true. I am glad you have a very loving husband....that helps. You do need to go to meetings as a way of venting some of that resentment and anger about your family. I did not have a car the first two years of my sobriety so I had people from the program actually come and get me and YES they do not mind. They just want you to get there. Is there any way you can get someone to watch you kids long enough to go to a meeting??? I hope so...how about your husband? He did help get them here!!! J/K.....I know how hard it is to be in the middle...you cannot make or change these people into anything. Your Mom is probably is denial and thinks that everyone else has the problem...are we related??? I hope you get to a meeting or even counseling. The women's center in your area will work with you on a sliding scale fee and IF you cannot afford that, they will do it for free until you can....I have done it. There is always a way to get help, if you want it and i think you do or you would not be here.....Best of luck to you......BLESSINGS.....Kahlia

Julie1016

I know that living with alcoholics and addicts is NO fun...my whole family is like yours. Mom has let me down plenty..I do not trust her anymore....never thought I would say that about my own Mother....it is sad, but true. OMG I so know the feeling. I love my Mom dearly, but I honestly have realized I can't trust that she will ever stay sober. :-( I am glad you have a very loving husband....that helps. Yes it does, cuz I know I would be lost without him. You do need to go to meetings as a way of venting some of that resentment and anger about your family. I did not have a car the first two years of my sobriety so I had people from the program actually come and get me and YES they do not mind. They just want you to get there. Is there any way you can get someone to watch you kids long enough to go to a meeting???It's not really a matter of finding someone to watch my kids, they are almost 14, 11 and 8, it's a matter of finding a meeting in a time frame I am comfortable going at. The earliest meeting I have found around here is 8 p.m. at night and I really don't like that idea. Also I live rather far out in the country(we live on 127 acres) so I feel like having to have someone get me at that time of the night is really making them go out of their way. It's hard to find any nearby meetings, all are a good half hour drive a way. I hope so...how about your husband? He did help get them here!!! J/K.....I know how hard it is to be in the middle...you cannot make or change these people into anything.Yep and that's is the hard part. I am always wanting to help everyone and I can't do anything to help these people so i gotta help myself. Your Mom is probably is denial and thinks that everyone else has the problem...are we related??? I hope you get to a meeting or even counseling.I may look into counseling if I can't find a meeting in my area. The women's center in your area will work with you on a sliding scale fee and IF you cannot afford that, they will do it for free until you can....I have done it. There is always a way to get help, if you want it and i think you do or you would not be here.....Best of luck to you......BLESSINGS.....Kahlia[/QUOTE] Thanks for the welcome :-)

nocellphone

Hi, Julie! Good to "see" you again!

Peace...