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12 Steps before you work the 12 Steps (Funny)

Old 04-15-2005, 01:53 PM
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12 Steps before you work the 12 Steps (Funny)

12 Steps of Pre-Program

1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing- that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us.

2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.

3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral and immoral inventory of everyone we knew.

5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.

7. Demanded others to either "shape up or ship out."

8. Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them all.

9. Got direct revenge wherever possible. Except when to do so would cost us our own lives or at least a stiff jail sentence.

10. Continued to take the inventory of others and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11. Sought through bitching, complaining, and nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our way.

12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

Submitted by Jeanne S.


Peace,

Tyler
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Old 04-15-2005, 02:43 PM
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Thanx Tyler. Very funny!
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Old 04-15-2005, 02:47 PM
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yep... that was me to a tee before i went into recovery...
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Old 04-15-2005, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by tyler
12 Steps of Pre-Program

1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing- that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us.

2. Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.

3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.

Tyler
Oh dear, two and a half years later and i still live my life by these three steps!
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Old 04-15-2005, 04:10 PM
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Of all the 12 step satire I've seen, that's one of the funniest yet
Thanks Tyler.
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Old 04-15-2005, 04:51 PM
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Hahahaha That Is Veryyyyyyyy Funnyy!!!
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Old 04-15-2005, 05:35 PM
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We sometimes just gotta laugh .......Thankz 4 Thiz!
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Old 08-25-2008, 10:01 AM
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Bump!
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Old 08-25-2008, 10:10 AM
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(((((( Tyler ))))))
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Old 08-25-2008, 10:21 AM
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Gosh, a twelve-step program I've mastered without even trying! Go ME!
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Old 08-25-2008, 10:31 AM
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LOL! You mean I was even thinking before I found AA? I can't remember.....
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Old 08-25-2008, 10:35 AM
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I thought Tyler was back but see this is an old thread of his. Too bad, I miss him.
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:07 PM
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i read something along these lines years ago n loved it. found your site googling these for a friend in recovery actually.....well....i suppose i should be glad that although i struggle with the POST-program steps i have mastered these...:rotfxko:rotfxko
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:10 PM
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Loved it, and of course so true.
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