To sigh a breath of fresh air
Acting not reacting
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
To sigh a breath of fresh air
Hmm...I am finding that are many things that my ex was not prepared to change, until he THOUGHT he had to. Not really that he DID have to,,,have to for whom? Interesting really. I know that my recovery is for me and my sanity, but its so oddly amusing to see the changes he is making for himself now that I stopped tolerating the constant crap. Since being sent to work release last week and asking for a ride to jail (Which is just kind of funny) and I declined...he has left over $600 in my mailbox (No I will not give you my address), paid my car payment without telling me, started antabuse, gotten involved in a program in the jail, been to work every somgle day, and has secured a condo to live in once he is released in 3 weeks. Mind bending it is, bc these are things he never THOUGHT he had to do before...why? Because he knew I would do it. I am not sure what the new found reasoning he has is, but I am happy for him. I would like to hope there is a future for us still, bc THIS is the man I love. I will be saying prayers every day that he is doing this for himself and with me in mind, not doing it for me, or anyone else. But, even if he is healthy and happy with someone else, and continues to repay me, I will be happy 
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Elizabeth - I too have seen my AH taking responsibility for his "crap". He's never had to do it before b/c I've always done it. Boy has he been struggling. His problem though, not mine.
Sounds like you are doing well and I hope things will continue that way.
(((())))
Sounds like you are doing well and I hope things will continue that way.
(((())))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 67
That's great!
elizabeth1979, that's great - I hope he's doing it for himself too. I'm not talking to my exABF at the moment, but I sincerely hope that he didn't use my leaving as an excuse to relapse, but rather as a wake up call to start taking charge of his life.
I'm going to use your post as hope that mine is also doing productive things, although, I left because I couldn't bear it to watch him not.
I'm going to use your post as hope that mine is also doing productive things, although, I left because I couldn't bear it to watch him not.
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