Savana 54

In my last post I had mentioned how I kicked him out. Now he keeps emailing me and calling and leaving messages on my cell phone; saying that he wants his money, and if he doesn't get it by tomorrow, he is going to press charges against me for keeping his money.

The arrangment we had after he overdrew his bank account by going on a drinking/gambling binge, was that I would deposit his checks into my account, as the banks have black listed him and he is unable to open an account. He gave me full permission to deposit his checks, and now he is making up accusations of forgery, saying he has an attorney that is going to press criminal charges against me. His mom has access to an attorney for him if he cries to her long enough about how unfairly he has been treated by me.

Its so hard to divide the money up as it was all going into one account. The reason I'm sure he wants it by tomorrow is so he can party and gamble over the weekend.

Part of me would like to keep the money, (my money is in my account as well), after what he has put me through. I don't even know if I will be evicted or not, as I can't pay all the bills on my own. Meanwhile all that he cares about is getting his money for drinking and gambling, since he will be staying with his Mommy, and she will be taking care of him..

He is threatning me with all kinds of things so I will hand some money over to him, which is basically Extortion. He is just so pathetic the way he is practically begging for money, not to mention the fact I gave him way over a hundred dollars not even a week ago; he had no expenses or bills to take care of, just himself and his drinking.

I have thought about getting a Restraining Order on him, as I'm tired of the harrasment.

walkingtheline

My best advice:

If you want him gone and to stay gone:

give him his money/stuff/whatever is his
get the restraining order
stop taking his calls

Savana 54

I feel like I've been feeding into this sick cycle, by arguing through emails and phone calls.

I'm afraid of his threats and no matter if I do what he wants as far as his things and money is concerned, he then threatings me with something else.

wraybear

I would definitely get a restraining order ASAP! and tell him and maybe he will stop calling you until you can get to the courthouse.

Pay the bills with the money - they were partially his electric bill, phone bill, gas bill, etc. Pay part of your rent, even if you can't pay all of it, they will accept partial payment. Then you can tell him you don't have the money... you paid all of HIS bills for HIM and the money is gone so he can stop harassing you.

In writing, make a list of how much money he gave you, how much you spent on what bill, include the $100 cash you gave him, so you will have proof that you paid HIS share of the bills. Give him the list and if you have any money left, give him the leftovers and then STOP TALKING TO HIM, period. I have been there, you are going to get all wrapped up in this "sick cycle" - STOP THE CYCLE!

He probably owes YOU money, if you think about it. Don't screw yourself - you may regret it. Sorry, to have the totally opposite opinion of WTL above, but that's what so nice about this place. You can get all different ideas and then choose the one that's best for you.

I know many times during the "chaos" of living with an addict, i couldn't think clearly, much less make a rational decision. This place has really helped me with that.

Take care... good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Savana 54

Thanks Wraybear!

Its so hard to deduct his bills and such, since I've been letting him deposit his checks into my account. He says I owe him so much and of course we don't agree on that amount.

Another thing is that I can't serve him with a Restraining Order since he doesn't have an address, and he won't tell me where he's staying. He did say that I could send the check to his Mom's house which is totally in a different County quite a few hours from here. I thought about serving him there, but I don't know if I can serve it that far out of town...?? Who knows if he is even living there... I can't believe anything he says anymore.

loristreily

serve him at work,if he works. I would give him his money after you pay his half of the bills. and, like said above write down everything paid and show receipts. and get him removed from the lease etc.asap. god bless and keep your chin up...

walkingtheline

You know you can block his phone number, you can block his email address and you can serve him a restraining order at work.

You can take control.

elizabeth1979

Having no money and all the bills is better than his money and his problems. Sounds like he is sick and no matter what you do, if he needs something from you, he will find a way to guilt you into it. Just remember that being emotionally strong and financially broke is better than financially OK and emotionally broken.

Savana 54

Thanks for all the replies.

He works out of state and travels most of the time; he came home for vacation, so I can't serve him at work as he stays in Hotels while he is working.