Hi to this forum - went to an Alanon meeting Tuesday.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: NYC
Posts: 12
Hi to this forum - went to an Alanon meeting Tuesday.
I just met some of you last weekend on some other forums when I was really depressed, even suicidal.
I guess I needed that bottom to find this spot, and get my behind to a meeting.
I did. It was good.
A woman shared who's mother had just died and she said, "She missed her so much, even though she hated her so often when she was alive." And when she came back, her long term boyfriend broke up with her. That hit directly home with me.
I realized that I too will miss my mother. Although my relationship with her will never be what I hoped, I realized that I could talk to her in prayer and say what I wanted to say to her. I could do the same for this woman minister who I feel hurt by. I can do this for my alcoholic male friend. I can talk to them in prayer. Say things I want to say, and in the process reveal my feelings to myself.
I also by chance, picked up a daily reading book from the church where the meeting was held. God must have led me to the passage about forgiveness. Often I have said the Lord's Prayer, not thinking that I had trouble forgiving anyone. But now I had REAL trouble forgiving someone. Very real trouble. And it was something I had to work on.
I'll probably start another thread with more of my thoughts about foregiveness...and how important it is.
I'm happy to be here.
I guess I needed that bottom to find this spot, and get my behind to a meeting.
I did. It was good.
A woman shared who's mother had just died and she said, "She missed her so much, even though she hated her so often when she was alive." And when she came back, her long term boyfriend broke up with her. That hit directly home with me.
I realized that I too will miss my mother. Although my relationship with her will never be what I hoped, I realized that I could talk to her in prayer and say what I wanted to say to her. I could do the same for this woman minister who I feel hurt by. I can do this for my alcoholic male friend. I can talk to them in prayer. Say things I want to say, and in the process reveal my feelings to myself.
I also by chance, picked up a daily reading book from the church where the meeting was held. God must have led me to the passage about forgiveness. Often I have said the Lord's Prayer, not thinking that I had trouble forgiving anyone. But now I had REAL trouble forgiving someone. Very real trouble. And it was something I had to work on.
I'll probably start another thread with more of my thoughts about foregiveness...and how important it is.
I'm happy to be here.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome Morningstar
I am so glad your recovery is starting so well.
My mother died 5 years ago at 90 years old. We had a loving relationship and were very close my whole life, and I don't believe there was any forgiving to be done, but I still missed her and felt a need to talk to her.
I talk to her in my prayers, sometimes in my garden and often when I am near water (which is a true serenity place for me). I just tell her what's on my mind and I believe that she hears me. Her spirit is still with me in many ways and there are times when I almost hear her talking to me too. Weird? Maybe. But I still feel connected to her. She was the most influential woman in my life, and probably the woman I admire most in this whole world.
Find a place where you feel connected and just talk. I do believe that she will hear you too.
I am so glad your recovery is starting so well.
My mother died 5 years ago at 90 years old. We had a loving relationship and were very close my whole life, and I don't believe there was any forgiving to be done, but I still missed her and felt a need to talk to her.
I talk to her in my prayers, sometimes in my garden and often when I am near water (which is a true serenity place for me). I just tell her what's on my mind and I believe that she hears me. Her spirit is still with me in many ways and there are times when I almost hear her talking to me too. Weird? Maybe. But I still feel connected to her. She was the most influential woman in my life, and probably the woman I admire most in this whole world.
Find a place where you feel connected and just talk. I do believe that she will hear you too.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Morningstar,
First welcome!
And I am so happy you found a meeting...I just love Al Anon and the 12 step programs. It saved m life! Often I will hear something at a meeting that I believe I was intended to hear and that sounds like what happened to you.
I look forward to getting to know you!
JT
First welcome!
And I am so happy you found a meeting...I just love Al Anon and the 12 step programs. It saved m life! Often I will hear something at a meeting that I believe I was intended to hear and that sounds like what happened to you.
I look forward to getting to know you!
JT
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