On the road back home
A new dawn and new chapter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
On the road back home
Don't really know where to start with this, I guess for beginners I'm a alcoholic or I wouldnt be here. I was born to be a drinker like so many of the men in my family were. I've been strugling with this thing for some time now. For a few months I was able too keep it under control, only drinking once a month but lately I've been sliping back into the void as I call it. I keep trying to tell myself that now I need to break for a good month but it's almost as if I hear some little devil laughing in my head saying yeah right, see you in 2 days. I'm not literaly hearing that mind you, I havent lost that much of my mind yet
Anyway it seems to me I have two options, I can either keep drinking or I can quit all toghether. This controling ******** doesnt seem to work. But it's tuff I hate drinking but at the same time I love it. I know when I pick up that drink it's going to give me that same good feeling that it always have done, but on the negative side I hate hangovers, blacking out, losing control, etc.
So that's me and that's my story. I never considerd my self a quitter, but in this case I dont think it's such a bad thing.
Anyway it seems to me I have two options, I can either keep drinking or I can quit all toghether. This controling ******** doesnt seem to work. But it's tuff I hate drinking but at the same time I love it. I know when I pick up that drink it's going to give me that same good feeling that it always have done, but on the negative side I hate hangovers, blacking out, losing control, etc.
So that's me and that's my story. I never considerd my self a quitter, but in this case I dont think it's such a bad thing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 398
Hi Bard,
I'm ChrisMan, a recovering addict.
"Half measures availed us nothing" I think it says in the Big Book. It is very true.
I found that really desiring sobriety made a big difference. Also, what has been helping me, is to live sobriety as a positive reality. That is, living sobriety as more than just NOT using a drug of choice, but actively helping others, doing readings, going to meetings, and doing some healthy recreational things, too, all as part of sobriety. Negative sobriety got me nowhere.
I have found so much support here. This is an awesome place and I hope you find it to be such.
I'm ChrisMan, a recovering addict.
"Half measures availed us nothing" I think it says in the Big Book. It is very true.
I found that really desiring sobriety made a big difference. Also, what has been helping me, is to live sobriety as a positive reality. That is, living sobriety as more than just NOT using a drug of choice, but actively helping others, doing readings, going to meetings, and doing some healthy recreational things, too, all as part of sobriety. Negative sobriety got me nowhere.
I have found so much support here. This is an awesome place and I hope you find it to be such.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Hi Bard, and welcome to SoberRecovery.
I managed to stop drinking when the cost finally outweighed the profit, so to speak.
Until then though, I played cat and mouse with myself. The resolve and determination of those mornings when I wanted to change my skin usually disolved a few days later, and the I'll keep a lid on it this time voice would start again.
It's a good Sunday to be sober.
I don't feel like peeling my skin off.
I hope it's the same for you.
Glad you're here.
I managed to stop drinking when the cost finally outweighed the profit, so to speak.
Until then though, I played cat and mouse with myself. The resolve and determination of those mornings when I wanted to change my skin usually disolved a few days later, and the I'll keep a lid on it this time voice would start again.
It's a good Sunday to be sober.
I don't feel like peeling my skin off.
I hope it's the same for you.
Glad you're here.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome!!
If you want to find a wonderful sober way of living..I found AA was the key for me.
Do stick around SR and ask questions...we are here to help.
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
Welcome Bard, i never knew i could live sober and clean, but i'm doing it, one day at a time, like so many here at SR. I have never been happier, i' don't wake up sick, i remember what i did yesterday, i don't hurt myself and the ones i love, and i can look at myself in the mirror, and smile. i'm 9 months in recovery. I never thought i'd QUIT.
But today i choose not to pick up that 1st, i go to AA, it has saved my life, in more ways than one. I had to accept my alcoholism, i will always be one. Once i did that, i've been sticking with the winners and living in the solution, rather than the problem.
And SR has been a lifeline too, again welcome, hope you stick around!!!
But today i choose not to pick up that 1st, i go to AA, it has saved my life, in more ways than one. I had to accept my alcoholism, i will always be one. Once i did that, i've been sticking with the winners and living in the solution, rather than the problem.
And SR has been a lifeline too, again welcome, hope you stick around!!!
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