pinky

Two days ago my 14 year old daughter came to me crying and asked if she could talk to me about something. She completely broke down and through her sobs told me how much she hates what her dad is doing to us. It cut to my heart like a knife. It really woke me up. I have always been very strong and have always managed to stay in control of everything until recently. My Ah has been making things very difficult for me by not showing up to see the kids when he says and when he does all he does is fall asleep on the sofa or try to argue with me. Other than that he has tried "groping" me and acting as though nothing has ever happened. You all know the score, theres this and a whole lot more that comes with it. But today I woke up and felt totally in control. I met my AH for lunch because I needed to talk to him away from the kids and in public (he doesnt get so angry this way) and I have told him that there is no longer an "us" and yes I will move on with my life. I told him I have decided to work more hours (I aready work part time) so that finacially I will not need him. I told him that as he had not done what he said he would and gotten help with his addiction that I was no longer going to do what I said and "wait"for him. I told him it was my life and he was no longer a controlling part of it. I also told him about my conversation with our daughter. He pleaded and begged for me to give him another chance and said all he wanted to do was come home and then he would get help. (I actually found myself laughing inside at that one. ) I stood my ground and came away feeling such a weight lift from me. Tonight I have had a call from him and we talked for a long time. And for the first time he actually talked to me and didnt yell or twist things or try and blame me. He asked me for the number for AA and promised he is going to make the call. He has promised to come by tomorrow cos he says he wants to talk to the older 2 kids about his problem. I will have to let you know wether he folows through with his promises. But something inside me tells me he might just do it this time. And if not at least I know I can cope with it and have the strength to move on. XpinkyX

JessicaNAJ

Way to go Pinky - I know that feeling of control you are talking about. It's feels great and YOU WERE GREAT!!

Peaches04

Pinky - yay! for you! You are awesome! Isn't that a great feeling... I know what you mean about the weight off your shoulders - it is very empowering to finally take control back! I'll be cheering for you and I hope it all works out great!

wraybear

Good for you! I love your post. So HONEST! you know, i think we, I sometimes am so walking on eggshells, it is hard to really be honest. But, it sounds like you just told it like it is! HIP HIP HOORAY!

JT

He planted a seed. You can let Mother Nature determine if it is going to grow or you can get the hose out...

And why can't they get their own AA phone number? QUACK!

Stay Strong!
(((Hugs)))
JT