mallowcup

Hi, I;mnew here and have come insearch of help and information. My husband is an alcoholic. He drinks between a 12 pack and a case everyday for over 15 years. You hear of the evils of alcohol and I apeak to him about wah tit is doing to his body. He makes a liar out of me. Until just the past few years, he hasn't lost work, his physicals are fine. Blood presure is fine and so he says see! Not that I hope there is something wrong but he blows me off when the doc says hes ok liver ok, labs ok. I don't understand it. He has been taxing his liver for 20 years. About four years ago he got a nose bleed It went into a hemorrage. they did an anterior packing and that didn't work to stop it so they did a posterior packing and he was in the hopsital for 7 days. So far as I know he hasn't any more. Here's the thing, he will not go to the doctor again. they wanted him to have a follow up CT scan of the brain to check on whats going on. He missed the appt. The doctor explained what happened as him having a stroke and bleeding out instead of inside. It was never said but it seems like that would have to be from the drinking. Ever since that bleeding, his personality has been changing. He is depressed, forgetful, agitated. He has no appetite, he grinds his teeth in his sleep, he is very thin, no beer belly. I have seen hit lit, this is different. Is there something I shold be watching for? I don't know if this will turn into an acute medical thing or he is just getting some kind of alcohol dementia. Sometimes I wonder if he has pshycotic or scitzophrenic episodes. He will go off alone and talk to himself. It gets creepy because I don't know if he is just working something out in his head or talking to himself in teh secondary. I'm not afraid of him, he doesn't come after me or anything. But he repeats things so many times it drives me nuts. Everythign he says ends with a question mark. If I say, "would you like some dinner". He replies, "dinner?" That may sound dumb, but when he does that after everything I say it annoys me. "Did you check the mail?" "mail?' He has this smug attitude like hes saying something funny. I'm trying to think fo specific things that have changed. He is drinking more now. He has his first beer by 9am. You won't see him the whole rest of the day without one. Taht's the other thing, instead of getting drunk and going to sleep alcohol seems to act like a stimulant. Can you enlighten me ad maybe tell me what to expect? Thanks so much and I am so glad to find this help.

equus

Could you have a chat with your doctor about it?

To be honest I'd be scared to death to add any more than that. I think where mental health is concerned you need to talk to someone qualified and ask them whether you need to take action on his behalf - it's not just a drinking issue.

mallowcup

something medical would happen to get him in for evaluation. He won't go for mental help. So it's like I just live with it. If he had any kind of symptom that would get him into the hospital, I could take it from there. Maybe request an psych eval. He has no desire to quit. I guess I can call a doctor to ask some questions. I am an RN, so i kind of know they will say he neds to come in. He won't. I think I'm a little lessnervous about a hamorrage or something like that becasue i know what to do. I have just hoped he would have had a screwy lab or something to get this ball rolling and everytime we go, everything is fine. I did have a scarey thing happen last week that I observed. I don't know if this has happened before. He took the dog into the back yard for a run. There is a lot of snow back there. He fell and couldn't get himself up. I am 5'2". He is 6'8". I watched him and didn't rush to help, he would have been agitated. I waited a full 30 minutes as I could watch him closely through the window. after 30 minutes, I went out ad just acted like I happened back there. Was he just drunk? I don't know. I do know if I had not been home he'd have frozen. I helped him to the house and he fell two more times. I got him into bed and watched him. If he ever found out I contacted a mental health clinic he would flip and go where I couldn't watch him, I guess as strange as it sounds, I'm hoping for any reason to have his head CT scanned.

bikewench

Mallow...

From what your saying... things don't sound good with your hubbie. I would suspect some form of dementia...

I know you can't make him go back to the doctor... but.. if it was I in your situation.. I'd be phoning the doctor to at least get some idea of what it could be.

It would probably help in deciding what your next steps are going to be around your man.

equus

I think you have to talk to a doc - you can tell them he won't go in but they should still be able to give you better advice than any of us can.

I feel for you - I just don't know enough to say anything.

Dee at Mt Bully

I'm sorry to hear of your scary situation and I'm glad you came to SR--welcome--
Your AH may have some alcohol poisning--which can cause symptoms of dementia--
and he may have some other medical problem that is being worsened by alcohol.
If it were me the next time he fell down --like in the yard--I would call an ambulance
and then tell the emergency Dr.s about the other issues--especially that he was scheduled for a scan and did not go--and of course I would also talk to his Dr.--
I hope you think of trying to take care of yourself while all this is going on--it's
very important to take care of you. Huggs and prayers--Dee

cwohio

i feel for you - my ah too has medical issues and altho not diagnosed for depression i'm sure he suffers from it. mine has had withdrawal seizure episodes lately and the last time went to the dr. who prescribed meds to bring him thru. dropped out of a outpatient program after 1 day. now back to drinking heavily and i called the dr. yesterday to let him know what was happening - haven't heard back yet. it's scary when the medical stuff comes into play. if it was just drunkenness, we can distance ourselves a bit easier i think. i pray for you and yours.

gelfling

Hi mallow,

If you read the posts, you'll see there is nothing you can do for him. But,you can do things for yourself. Alanon, read books and literature on the disease and associated physical disorders, etc. My son started drinking at 18 at college, now 25 and recovering. His liver function tests came back abnormal. That's 7 years of drinking. The blessing is that the liver can regenerate and repair itself. But they have to stop abusing it.

Take care