gabigoo

My AH finally succeeded in losing everything in his life. After he dropped my son (2 y/o) last week while he was drunk- relapse after 9 months dry- I told him to pack his things and move out. Of course he blamed everyone but himself for his relapse. Then I had to call the police b/c he was threatening me and would not let me leave the house with my 2 kids. On Monday I got a restraining order. So he moved into an apartment- blaming me for not being able to see his kids. Not like he ever took care of them anyway! So then he doesn't show up for work and they call me looking for him. I told the company I didn't know where he was and they finally found him. That afternoon he went into work and they fired him. Once again he is blaming THEM for not giving him another chance to get his head together. Why won't he see that he is where he is b/c of his OWN actions? He is blaming me, my family, his work, you name it but NOT himself. How can he be so low and not at rock bottom? I can not understand this. He has all of the opportunities in this world as his fingertips. He has a college education in a great field with tons of opportunities. He can have it all- the caring wife, loving kids, big house, nice car and so on... but instead he is in an apartment he can't even afford ALONE and yet he still doesn't see what he has done!!!
I have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow to protect myself and my 2 children. (2 y/o - next Sunday and 3 1/2 y/o) I should mention that I am also 9 weeks pregnant! It was obviously not planned! Just when I think my life can't get any worse it does!
I just needed to vent! Thanks!

JessicaNAJ

The ole blame game. I totally understand. And they don't get it. My AH was wondering why there wasn't some company out there who would give money to people who couldn't pay their bills because they weren't working ??? HELLO

I think your life it getting better. You are taking the right steps to protecting yourself and your kids. That little baby inside you is a blessing, a little gift from God (as my step mom would say). He gave you that gift b/c he knew you would take good care of the little fella.

JennyK

You sound like a very strong woman who knows how to take care of herself.

Good for you. If you just keep on being strong and keep on taking care of yourself and your kids, he might actually hit his bottom someday.

My mantra for this one is "You can not rationalize with an irrational person". As rational as it is to take responsiblity for yourself, an irrational person can't do that.

A time ago, someone posted something about characteristics of people with low self esteem...not taking responsibility was one of the big ones.

Good luck and stick around.

Jenny

JT

gabigoo,

He is in a hard spot right now. You are doing what you are doing and so is his boss.

Hang back and watch. Who knows?

Hugs,
JT

nocellphone

It's a disease of denial...

queenofthehwy

Gabigoo,

You are doing the right thing to protect you and your kids.
I couldn't agree more, you sound like a very smart mommy!!!

cwohio

((gabigoo)) - no words of advice - just hugs and prayers for you and your little ones!

gabigoo

Thank you all so much for your words! I met with the lawyer today and his lawyer actually asked for me to drop the restraining order- once again does he think I'm stupid? Things have been tough and I have some good and some bad moments. I am trying not to worry about more than today.
I agree the baby was a blessing- afterall God only gives us as much as we can take, right? This baby must be something special!!! I am trying my best to stay positive but I do admit it can be hard. My 2 kids are so active and trying to do it all and keep up my spirits can be very exhausting but add the pregnancy in and I'm waiting for the day I just crash! I am so grateful that my sisters and parents live 10 minutes from me and have been SO helpful!!! Thanks again!