bean611

i myself am a recovering addict, i was clean for 8 months until i relapsed 2 weeks ago today, and im on the road back to recovery. ive been fighting with drugs for 11 years and im only 24. the last and only drug i used, and got addicted to was crack. i was on and off it for 2 years. im telling you this for one, im not ashamed of it, and because my boyfriend of 5 years told me this morning hes been using crack for the past few months all day, every day. this is coming from a person that has smoked weed a few times and nothing else. when he told me i didnt know what to say, all i could do was scream, and walk away. when i did finally go back to talk to him i just wanted to know why? why he would do that to himself after he saw what it did to me? i didnt use every day, it was more like once every 2 weeks, to once a month. i couldnt bring myself to be nice about anything, i was down right hateful, and now i know i shouldnt have acted that way now. but i started thinking back to when i was using, he left me, and he took our kids with him. he put me through pure hell, it was totally uncalled for. i never used around my kids, and ive never been high around them. and now he wants help from me? its so mind blowing i cant even think right. we have a house weve been waiting on for 2 months and we move in May 9th, he still has a great job, but we have no money now. someone please help me!!

Girlfriend

Hi Bean,

My heart goes out to you, it really does. I work with alot of youth and younger adults your age that don't drink/do drugs, but they've been abused and it's been a long road for them to overcome.

You two don't have any $ for the new place because the $ is being spent on drugs. You know that.

For the situation to get better, both you and your BF are going to have to choose to become clean and seek help in that area. SO many places out there to help you. AA, NA, AL-ANON, non-profit organizations that help you get into programs that help you to sobriety.

That's the first step and a big one. BUT, you can do it. Do it for yourself and your kids! And I pray that your BF does the same. To break the cycle of the toxicity. I know and trust that you have the desire to do that.

And, that's what all of us are here for is to help support you and love you!

bean611

your right i know where the money went. just last night we were talking, and he told me that coming online to SR and going to meetings isnt helping me. he thinks thats why i used again, when i used again it was pills it was crack/cocaine. i feel meetings have helped me, ive meet some really great people at them. he thinks when you get 2 addicts together and they start talking about the drugs theyve used it makes them want to use. thats not it at all, i just started meetings in jan, i havent been back to one in like a month. when i got clean the first time i didnt know you couldnt do it by yourself, that i might need help. so i started going and loved it. but now, yes we will be going to meetings, he has a long road in front of him.