I did not rescue him
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
I did not rescue him
Just wanted to give you all an update
AH said he borrowed money off of his boss to pay some of his debts off. So, he got his car insurance and his license reinstated.
The important thing is, I did not rescue him!!
When I talked to him today, I was totally disconnected. I listened and "chimmed" in when the time was right. But, I didn't make it my problem and I didn't offer the "I've been there. You know what I'd do" lecture. He has to figure out how to get out of this mess himself. He made it, he can clean it up.
Sorry if this makes no sense, I'm very tired. I think I'm going to call it an early night, for me
AH said he borrowed money off of his boss to pay some of his debts off. So, he got his car insurance and his license reinstated.
The important thing is, I did not rescue him!!
When I talked to him today, I was totally disconnected. I listened and "chimmed" in when the time was right. But, I didn't make it my problem and I didn't offer the "I've been there. You know what I'd do" lecture. He has to figure out how to get out of this mess himself. He made it, he can clean it up.
Sorry if this makes no sense, I'm very tired. I think I'm going to call it an early night, for me
Ugh!
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Enchanted Elmoland
Posts: 180
Jess,
That totally makes sense, pat yourself on the back. Every accomplishment we make needs to be recognized. It's hard not to make other people's issues our issues. I find it is also hard for me to say what I want to do, etc. without giving reasons behind it. If I don't want to go out and see people drinking, I don't have to tell them why or what other things I have to do and blah blah blah. It's enough for me to just say, "not tonight". Anyway, you sound like you are doing awsome and congrats for that!
Hugs,
~Faithchaser
That totally makes sense, pat yourself on the back. Every accomplishment we make needs to be recognized. It's hard not to make other people's issues our issues. I find it is also hard for me to say what I want to do, etc. without giving reasons behind it. If I don't want to go out and see people drinking, I don't have to tell them why or what other things I have to do and blah blah blah. It's enough for me to just say, "not tonight". Anyway, you sound like you are doing awsome and congrats for that!
Hugs,
~Faithchaser
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
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I'm not sure I really handled it at all. I just didn't help and I guess he realized the only way he was going to get any kind of peace (mentally) over his climbing debt (people were calling him every day) and the loss of his license that HE had to do something. And he did.
I guess I expected to feel more of a relief that he took this step on his own, but I don't. Honestly, I'm happy for him but I really don't care. He got the money to pay things off, good for him. I guess in reality, I think he's going to fall right back down that hole. I hope he proves me wrong. We'll see.
I guess I expected to feel more of a relief that he took this step on his own, but I don't. Honestly, I'm happy for him but I really don't care. He got the money to pay things off, good for him. I guess in reality, I think he's going to fall right back down that hole. I hope he proves me wrong. We'll see.
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Carrollton, Texas
Posts: 218
Amen Minnie - Jessica...You did wonderful..By not fixing "it"..you are fixing yourself. By not responding to his panic and the "what am I gonna dos"...you forced him to deal with it. You should be very proud of yourself. We are.
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