bahookie

Hey

I have a counselling appointment this afternoon at 4.30, and I'm starting to think I shouldn't go.

Since my first one last week, my A has been being the most loving, supportive, sweet friend, full of energy and new ideas for the business and the house. I'm finding it hard to think of what I want to talk about!

I have this horrible feeling that it's all because of the counselling, that it's some kind of manipulation.

Am I really going bananas at last?
Why should I be worrying that things are nice?
Why do I feel like crying when I'm on my own?
This is insane.

Jane

gelfling

Follow your gut. If you can openly say you think it's because of the counselling...

Do the appointment. When you have the feelings that you do, it's especially important to go.

Grace,

equus

I have my second session at 2.45!!! It's someone new so will mean going over the same stuff as before.

I'm going though, I feel like poo 'cos I've got a cold but I AM going. I figure it's there and if it helps all good, if it doesn't then I've not lost anything!!

I'm so not in the mood for this - but come hell or high water I'm going to see it through till the end of my 'free' works sessions, then I'll make my mind up whether or not to continue.

Good luck with yours - if you go we can give each other pats on the back after!!

cwohio

jane - i'll go to mine tonite if you go to yours! lol

bahookie

Mine is free too!
Paid for by the university, for 6 sessions.

Spooky or what?!

Yes, I'm going, am going am going am going!!!!!

Mine is a nice woman, motherly even.
I also think that there must be something working on me, if things are nice and my head's not at peace. I'm just a bit scared that I don't know what it is, I feel as though I'm careering through life here.

Bleh!!!

I hope your cold feels better by the way

Love and hugs
Jane
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

cwohio

ok - i guess that means i am going to mine tonight too! i know the feeling of careening thru life!

equus - hope you feel better!

Magichappens

If someone is reacting well to something I am doing to help myself, why should I stop? If someone is reacting poorly to something I am doing to get better, why should I stop? What is wrong with helping myself to have a life that is better?

It took a long time of doing things to get better before I stopped second guessing myself. That is why it was so important for me to be around people who encouraged me to continue. The more support I got, the stronger I got.

It's ok to be scared and do it anyway. It won't always be scary. Hugs, Magic

bahookie

Hey Magic
that was lovely and made a lot of sense, I guess it is scary. Hey, I'm scared!"
What a wally I am.

To everyone else - thank you for the support and I will try not to be such an idiot in future.
got to go find a parking space in the middle of Glasgow, not easy!!!!

Thank you all again
You've made me smile
Jane
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

gelfling

Oh Jane,

No, you're not an idiot. Just a loving and caring person who wants a hand hold once in a while. Nothing wrong with that.

Daffodil

Jame, everytime I've ever tried something new I have been uncomfortable. I have come to learn that I re-act to the the 'New" thing because I have a hard time dealing with change. I know all the old stuff going on in my head and I know how I dead with it. I always thought during counsiling, they'd find horrid, awful thing wrong with me.

Guess what they didn't and I am freer today than ever.

Go ahead take a healthy risk. As JT is fond of saying "IF nothing chnges, nothing changes.

equus

I went and it was worth it!! I need time to let what was said settle, knowing me I'll challenge it a bit take some and leave other bits - but it was good.

Something I haven't really nailed down yet but I think it will be a powerful seed.

cupowater

Wow! Me too! Here at work! But I only have one more with her, and like you eques, I have to start all over with another! This one I have to pay for!

lost and alone

My AH came back from rehab last week and is the most loving, sweet person I have ever seen. But, that doesn't mean we don't have alot of work to do. I didn't want to go see my therapist today but went anyway and I'm sure glad that I did. On the way to the appointment my AH called me and told me all of his so-called friends are calling him a traitor for telling my that they use cocaine. He was really upset that the people who he thought cared about him (since he was 6 years old) cannot understand why he told me. He said, What is wrong with telling the truth to your wife? When did it become ok to lie to the one person who loves me the most? He is in a very healthy place for the moment but I was so happy to have a therapist to talk it all over with. She gave me great advice. I knew his friends would react that way, but he still was holding out hope.

Continue your therapy!!!

JessicaNAJ

I wish I went to my counsellor last week. I cancelled b/c I didn't have the co-pay. Boy do I wish I went. I really need it. I need to get some perspective.

Equus - I'm glad it went well for you!!

Jane - I hope all goes well for you and you can find a parking spot

gelfling

How was your meeting?

equus

Yeah - come on Bahookie, SPILL!!! How did it go?

bahookie

Morning!
It's a bright sunny one today.

Yes, I went and it was almost painless. I can't tell you how nice it was that you all went to the effort of shoving me along

It gave me a whole bunch of stuff to think about, and she helpfully draws wee diagrams and pie charts!

Funnily enough, we were talking yesterday about my reluctance to go to alanon. When it comes right down to it, it's fear of the unknown, isn't it? I'm comfortable with the stuff in my head, even if it doesn't work properly.
I also did a chart of how my time is divided and I'm a bit alarmed to see my A take up about 3/4 of it.

Much to think about, and she sent me away with the phone number of alanon so I don't have any excuses

Fed up being scared and fed up being a pleaser. Even knowing those things is a start.

Thanks for all your support everyone.

Jane
xxxx

Ps got a parking space, £3 it cost me for an hour! Daylight robbery!!!

Magichappens

So glad it went well. Remember courage isn't lack of fear. Courage is facing fear and doing something anyway. You had courage yesterday. I am proud of you. Hugs, Magic

queenofthehwy

Same here, but someone here said the more you do the right things that aren't comfortable to you the more the wrong things will become uncomfortable.(or something like that)

Bahookie,
I'm glad to see that you went. Same thing happened to me after our first time. I almost didn't go, I thought oh things aren't that bad, look he's being so nice........But I went, when I told my counselor about how I had been feeling, he said Ah wanted to make you feel like that, to keep things the way they were.

rivercitybelle

Magic is so right!
You did GREAT!
Paid parking any where is the pits!!! $12/hr someplaces in NYC and LA ... LOL
Sounds like she helped to let you see you have a lot to think about!!!
We're all proud of you!