Got a job offer and bummed out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 307
Got a job offer and bummed out
Hi All,
I have 28 days today and am feeling kinda low. I am going to AA meetings and called my sponsor today and have been trying to do all the right things. I have also been looking for a job, since am barely surviving on the remnants of my own business. Today I had a four hour second interview with a company that wants to make an offer. I also just got an email from a much better company asking if I am still looking for a job. This might seem great, but these jobs will require 50 hours a week and will be really intense for about three months as I get up to speed (high tech). This eats into time I need to go to meetings and work with my sponsor to say nothing of time to see my daughter and wife. I either choose financial insecurity and possible disaster (certainly no security or saving for college and retirement) or no time and high stress and possible disaster there too. I told my sponsor about this and he is going to consult his sponsor before telling me what I should do tomorrow night. I called the job that made an offer and let them know I can't make a decision until Wednesday. I plan to call the much better company for an interview as well.
I think my sponsor might tell me I can't take either of these jobs, but the nature of my industry is like this. I am 42 and can't just choose another occupation that can support my family.
Hurting for sure. Thanks for listening.
I have 28 days today and am feeling kinda low. I am going to AA meetings and called my sponsor today and have been trying to do all the right things. I have also been looking for a job, since am barely surviving on the remnants of my own business. Today I had a four hour second interview with a company that wants to make an offer. I also just got an email from a much better company asking if I am still looking for a job. This might seem great, but these jobs will require 50 hours a week and will be really intense for about three months as I get up to speed (high tech). This eats into time I need to go to meetings and work with my sponsor to say nothing of time to see my daughter and wife. I either choose financial insecurity and possible disaster (certainly no security or saving for college and retirement) or no time and high stress and possible disaster there too. I told my sponsor about this and he is going to consult his sponsor before telling me what I should do tomorrow night. I called the job that made an offer and let them know I can't make a decision until Wednesday. I plan to call the much better company for an interview as well.
I think my sponsor might tell me I can't take either of these jobs, but the nature of my industry is like this. I am 42 and can't just choose another occupation that can support my family.
Hurting for sure. Thanks for listening.
Agnostic with faith
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 94
Hi Jupiter,
I agree with Time2Surrender, you're putting your recovery first. Doesn't that mean your mind is really set on full recovery? It sure looks to me that way, meaning you already have the strenght in yourself not to fall in disaster if you take a job and attend less meetings.
I'm on my 46th day and I still haven't decided wether or not to attend one. But, then again, everyone's different. Finantial disaster is on its way, that's for sure.
Other kind of disaster, only time can tell, you can always quit, if you still feel to unsure of yourself.
I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Keep strong.
Pedro
I agree with Time2Surrender, you're putting your recovery first. Doesn't that mean your mind is really set on full recovery? It sure looks to me that way, meaning you already have the strenght in yourself not to fall in disaster if you take a job and attend less meetings.
I'm on my 46th day and I still haven't decided wether or not to attend one. But, then again, everyone's different. Finantial disaster is on its way, that's for sure.
Other kind of disaster, only time can tell, you can always quit, if you still feel to unsure of yourself.
I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Keep strong.
Pedro
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
Congradulations on your 28 days.Sounds like a tough choice.When I a faced with those decisions I like you turn the over to my sponser.It is very hard to trust the process at times.When I put my sobriety first things always work out.Keep the faith and one day at a time it will work out.Be good to yourself. Bless, Trish 
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Sending my prayers your way; that the decision will come to you.
Just remember one thing, though...
When you were drinking, how much time did you spend with your family? I know it's important to make amends, but, working to support the family is not the same as drinking the hours away...
Also, financial aide and scholarships are available to help with college costs. Perhaps a less stressful job that pays less might be an option. Personally, I would prefer that for my mate than the possible disasters you worry about.
Finally, don't worry so much about the future. Live today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Shalom!
Just remember one thing, though...
When you were drinking, how much time did you spend with your family? I know it's important to make amends, but, working to support the family is not the same as drinking the hours away...
Also, financial aide and scholarships are available to help with college costs. Perhaps a less stressful job that pays less might be an option. Personally, I would prefer that for my mate than the possible disasters you worry about.
Finally, don't worry so much about the future. Live today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Shalom!
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hi Jupiter
My experience is very similar to yours. I had a second interview for a job that would have taken me away from "full time" recovery early in recovery and I went to see my sponsor about it. He let me ramble on about how I'll have to miss meetings, not put my recovery first, the hours would mean that I couldn't see him , go to a meeting every day etc etc. When I had finished he quitely told me that I didn't have the job yet, that I was projecting like crazy and filling my mind with stressful senarios that haven't and may not ever happen. He told me to keep things in the day, pray for the right outcome and hand it over.
When I left his house I remember thinking "Yeh right buddy, that's really going to pay the bills isn't it" but I took his suggestions on board, did what he suggested, the anxiety about the situation lifted and I knew that the outcome was nothing to do with me and I would face any future issues when they happened.
I went for the interview and I didn't get the job !!! and I'm still here - months down the road - happy and in a much much better place than I was when all that was happening.
much love
JC
My experience is very similar to yours. I had a second interview for a job that would have taken me away from "full time" recovery early in recovery and I went to see my sponsor about it. He let me ramble on about how I'll have to miss meetings, not put my recovery first, the hours would mean that I couldn't see him , go to a meeting every day etc etc. When I had finished he quitely told me that I didn't have the job yet, that I was projecting like crazy and filling my mind with stressful senarios that haven't and may not ever happen. He told me to keep things in the day, pray for the right outcome and hand it over.
When I left his house I remember thinking "Yeh right buddy, that's really going to pay the bills isn't it" but I took his suggestions on board, did what he suggested, the anxiety about the situation lifted and I knew that the outcome was nothing to do with me and I would face any future issues when they happened.
I went for the interview and I didn't get the job !!! and I'm still here - months down the road - happy and in a much much better place than I was when all that was happening.
much love
JC
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi Jupiter,
Congratulations on your sobriety! This is a situation that is going to require reall soul-searching. Listen to the little voice within that will tell what is the right thing to do. I wish you well.
Love, Anna
Congratulations on your sobriety! This is a situation that is going to require reall soul-searching. Listen to the little voice within that will tell what is the right thing to do. I wish you well.
Love, Anna
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Hey Jup
Wow, tough situation. I do not have an easy answer for you. I do believe that balance is very important - I think the lack of it is at the root of many of us being here. I would go to the 2nd company interview, and a lot of times things have a way of taking care of themselves. I wish you luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 307
Thanks everyone for the comments and support. I think I will try what jaysee says and live in today. I will wait for my sponsor to call tonight and try not to stress about it until then. I also appreciate what jmhs002 said and I will see if I can interview with the second company. Maybe holding out for a less stressful job would be a good idea. Quitting a really bad job if it becomes necessary is also an option. My wife did point out the positive this morning: at least you are getting interviews. High tech was in the dumps the last couple of years in the silicon valley and it is coming out of it now. More inquiries and interviews in the last three weeks than in the previous year and a half. Maybe sobriety has something to do with this lol.
Thanks everyone. Sure is good to have all of you here.
Thanks everyone. Sure is good to have all of you here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
(((((((Jupiter)))))))) and especially your wife.(((((((((Jupiter's Wife)))))))))))
Nice to get a balancing view! Lots of folks, even on these message board, are struggling to find a family wage job let alone a well paying career. Seeing their attitudes turn to joy in even the smallest of victories has been a great inspiration to me.
I'm reminded of what I heard in one of my first AA meetings -
"Problems will still exist when we sober up, but the quality of our problems seem to get better."
(((((((Jupiter)))))))))) My sponsor suggests not waiting for him to call me but to pick up the phone once in awhile and call him. He even suggested I could call when things are going good, not just when the "youknowwhat" hits the fan. ;-)
3 Legacy
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