elizabeth1979

Being in this relationship is is just that.

It has indeed been a slow death that I am not prepared to die. The sickness, the fear, the pain, the rejection, the abuse. I almost feel justified (not really) in my feable attempts at controling as he held such a tight grip over me and everything I do. I would usually not be concerned as he was always drunk when spewing this nonsense, except for the fact that he one girlfriend badly enough to go to jail for one year for it. The past is the past unless it becomes your future resentments and present hell, which unfortunately it has for me.

He has court on Thursday at which time he will be sentenced for violating his probation for the assault I mentioned earler. He will likely go to prison for a while. There is the chance he will get house arrest, but without my spear heading his defense, I find it unlikely that the judge will find that a suitable punishment. Even so, I told him he must leave my home by Saturday if he is not sentenced.

I am tired of being a victim and/or martyr and choose to end Sarah's Crusade for Alcoholics Rights I seem to have started so long ago. I simply is not worth the millions of things I would be giving up for the rest of my life.


Just wanted to share...thanks for listening!
Sarah Elizabeth

gelfling

Making such a decision is so terribly painful. But exhilarating at the same time. Good for you and I admire your strength.

Penny1

I too admire your strength. With my AH I have videotaped him a few times when he came home drunk and he watched it the next morning and saw what I see and heard what I was saying while taping it. I do not fully know your situation but I do know how hard it is to live with an alcoholic and it takes great strength to walk away. I wish you all the luck in the world and will keep you in my prayers....God Bless

Magichappens

((elizabeth))
I came to a point in my recovery where I felt that way. I had to let go of trying to have a relationship with a person who wasn't capable of it. It was the hardest decision of my life.

Fortunately, I had somewhere to turn, something to focus on, something to work towards. I filled that empty hole with working the 12 steps, being involved in my group, and developing better relationships with the people God had put in my life. Trusting that this was what I was supposed to do was the right decision for me.

I could have let go of my old life, and sat and waited. I can see now that I would have just gone right back into it after a while. Letting go left a big hole in me and I had to fill it with something. I chose recovery. Hugs, Magic