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A new approach (A/A?)

Old 03-03-2005, 04:13 PM
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A new approach (A/A?)

Wnen I became an alcoholic (not beeing able to stop after the first, getting a hangover with a couple of beers, the works) at the begginning of 2002 I started to treat my problem in a different manner I seem to have discovered here.

First I went to a psychiatrist who gave me meds for a deep depression. As you may guess the best anti-depressive I could find was beer (30+ a day). Then, my mother, a Doctor herself (pediatrician, not much help) found an expert on addictions who had been working for 15-16 years dealing with drug addicts and alcoholics. After seeing her a few times, I agreed on taking Dissulfirame (Antabuse) and so I went for 2 years, with regular consultations to check how I was feeling, cravings, professional and personal life, etc.

During this period of 2 years I had 4 relapses, and the last one was the most severe, and the Doctor decided that this outpatient therapy wasn't working and so I went into a 28 day rehab programm .That was the first time I ever spoke in groups with people with my own problem AND THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO A/A MEETINGS. Four weeks later I was an outpatient again seeing this Doctor and a Psychiatrist and eventually a psycologist.

It's pretty clear that for 3 years I only communicated with people sharing my disease for a month. Since I found this site, I've been feeling wonderfully, trying to help other people, beeing helped by reading your posts.

What about the A/A? You mention them so often as life saviors, contact A/A if you feel you're in trouble (a relapse). I've only been there 12 times and my short experience tells me that people are not allowed to interuupt the speaker: there's no dialogue like in groups or here. Notice that I'm from Portugal, maybe things work out differently in the USA.

What's so wonderful, nearly magical (as per your posts) about the A/A? I'd like to try a new approach on my road to sobriety.

Thanks everybody.
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Old 03-03-2005, 07:58 PM
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Hi blitz,
I'm glad that you find this site very useful in your recovery. I like it a lot too. For me, I also need in-person meetings and a sponsor to help me work the 12 steps. I've only been going to AA meetings for a few months now, but personally, they're keeping me sober. AA is certainly not the only way to get/stay sober so if you'd like to try a new approach on your way to sobriety, by all means, go ahead. AA is simply a suggested program of recovery. I truly believe that AA is a gift from God and the reason people talk about it as life saviors is because AA has saved many peoples' lives. Yes, there is supposed to be no "cross talk" at meetings and there is no dialog during the meeting but there's a meeting before the meeting and a meeting after the meeting. The reason for the "no dialog" format is because a huge part of recovery, especially for the newcomer, is to listen. The old timers might tell you to "take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth." I understand that sometimes with these posts it can get a little annoying with the constant suggestion of AA/NA, but it's only because a lot of people are very passionate and grateful about their recovery. I wish you the best with yours.
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Old 03-03-2005, 08:28 PM
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Hi Blitz...I don't know anything about AA, other that my father in law has attend meetings for years now and has helped many others. If my latest attempt, using this site, does not help...I've got to call my wife's dear ole' dad (a man I love and value very much). He is unaware of my problem, as we do not see each other that often and I've been able to mask my abuse with behaviors/accomplishments that don't suggest a problem. But it's here...Continued success, and Take Care...
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Old 03-03-2005, 09:40 PM
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Hi blitz,

Here in my area of No. California, U.S., we have two beginner's meetings on Thurs. and Sun. night. The format of these meetings encourages multiple shares and crosstalk. You are allowed to do this if you have 6 months or less of sobriety for the Thurs. meeting and 1 year for the Sunday meeting. This is in contrast to most AA meetings in which there is no crosstalk allowed and you are supposed to share just once (an unwritten "rule"). These beginner's meetings are very free form and people speak from the heart about their experiences in early recovery. I attend these and also traditional AA meetings. One of my favorites is a Big Book study in which we take turns reading the Big Book and then discuss the significance of what we have read in relation to our own lives. I have gotten a lot out of these. Also there are activities which do not occur in meetings, but most definitely can follow them. Most important here is working the steps with a sponsor. I just did my first step oficially with my sponsor tonight and have a reading assignment before doing my second step.

I know AA is not for everyone, and I think that it is great if someone can find other ways of not drinking, but I am personally plum out of options and have decided I can't run the show anymore. I give up.
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Old 03-04-2005, 12:33 AM
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((((blitz)))) Welcome. I'm glad you're here.

AA is not about just getting and staying sober, but about learning to life life on life's terms. For me that means working on my core issues (through the steps) and having the love and support of others in recovery (meaning people who understand) to help me through whatever life sends my way without drinking or drugging.

My suggestion? Give it a real, honest chance. It's changed the lives of millions of people, it can work for you, too.

hugs,

phinny
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Old 03-04-2005, 02:32 PM
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Thank you all for your replies.

Gratefulgal, when you mention a meeting before and after the actual meeting, what are those meetings like: can people cross-talk?

Jupiter2, the meetings you mentioned are just the kind I think I prefer. I'am on my 42nd day so I believe I could attend both..... if it weren't for the 10,000 miles that seprate us (I'm from Lisbon). Still I'll look for that kind of format in my area.

Phinneas, you're talking about getting to know your inner feelings with the support of other people sharing our illness. If I get it right, it's about finding out what makes us tick, especially with no addictions.That definetely sounds different from anything I've ever tried.
I already have the next meeting's timetable TUE and THU 9:00 PM, as far as the format of the meetings are, I'll have to wait for monday. Looks like A/As in Portugal get to spend the week-ends with their families.

Thank You again, I'll give it a go and keep you posted. And Punt, you heard them, maybe it's time you sat down with your father in law.
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Old 03-04-2005, 02:44 PM
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(((Blitz))) Here is some basic info on AA/NA etc.http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=49333
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Old 03-04-2005, 03:01 PM
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Thanks a lot. Most enlightning. However slyghtly different from what I could see here in Portugal while attending compulsory meetings at my 28 day rehab programm, when it gets to finding a sponsor.
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Old 03-04-2005, 06:39 PM
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I'm not sure about all the talk about cross-talking. Is that when someone interrupts or changes the topic of discussion?
Anyway, I love AA meetings because they are keeping me sober. It's almost like walking into a church--you feel this aura of peace around you. I don't know if anyone else notices it, but as soon as I walk into a meeting, I almost instantly feel better. It also feels good to be understood and to relate to every person in that room, without necessarily knowing them personally. Every lead I hear, I can identify with some part of their story. And discussion meetings are my favorite. I learn so much. I could never get sober on my own, and I tried. AA finally helped me stay sober for longer than a few days at a time. Three cheers for AA!
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Old 03-04-2005, 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Lilalkie
I'm not sure about all the talk about cross-talking. Is that when someone interrupts or changes the topic of discussion?
Anyway, I love AA meetings because they are keeping me sober. It's almost like walking into a church--you feel this aura of peace around you. I don't know if anyone else notices it, but as soon as I walk into a meeting, I almost instantly feel better. It also feels good to be understood and to relate to every person in that room, without necessarily knowing them personally. Every lead I hear, I can identify with some part of their story. And discussion meetings are my favorite. I learn so much. I could never get sober on my own, and I tried. AA finally helped me stay sober for longer than a few days at a time. Three cheers for AA!
Amen.Very well said Lilalkie.
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Old 03-05-2005, 12:12 AM
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Thanks lilalkie,

I perfectly identify with the aura of peace when getting in a church even thogh I'm an agnostic. It hasn't got to do with God, it's something more of an inner peace and quiet that seems t be triggered, only I don't know why. That's why I'm an agnostic with faith. There has to be something beyond pure and cold scientific facts.

Getting back to the cross-talk, it's a meeting where people can interrupt each other to ,make their point on the issue on the table. It's not chaotic, there are rules and it's sort of what we do here and your discussion meetings I guess?

Love - Pedro
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Old 03-05-2005, 08:40 AM
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In the couple of meetings that I go to where cross-talking is allowed, it is not so much interrupting each other as it is speaking directly to each other. One person might say something and then another person can address them by first name and then talk directly to them in response.

Kinda cool, I think.
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Old 03-06-2005, 05:37 PM
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blitz,
the meeting before and after the meeting is not a formal meeting but rather a chance to talk to whoever you want to talk to (one-on-one, one-on-two, etc.) A lot of people will suggest that you get to the meeting early and stay afterwards to talk to people. I hope that makes sense.

Jupiter,
thank you so much for your posts, they were very helpful. I've been to a couple of beginner meetings and while they were different in format from the traditional ones, I have not yet been to ones like you described. I think that's wonderful.
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Old 03-07-2005, 08:12 AM
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LifeRing and SOS meetings offer small meetings settings with crosstalk. Unfortunately, they are probably not available in Portugal.

Paul J
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