Going to try this whole church thing AGAIN tonight.......
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,540
Going to try this whole church thing AGAIN tonight.......
Hi all!
Went to church this morning. As I have many times in my 38 years, before, during and after my alcoholism. I have always believed in God (as in the majority of the world's God, Father, Son, Holy Ghost, etc)..
Anyways, went to church this morning (and they all know my situation and my recent struggles with it). Sat through the sermon with tears in my eyes for most of it. The sermon was for me. All about the lady that touched the hem of Jesus garment. That sermon was for me. I KNEW it. The entire CHURCH knew it. And yet, I left without doing what I was supposed to do. Because of pride.
Have had a pretty miserable day since. Because I did not obey. Like I need one more thing in my life to feel guilty about.
Anywhoo, going back tonight and try to make things right with me and "my" God. Because He is my higher power and I need him to succeed and to be happy.
If anyone has any leftover prayers, throw them my way.
Love and hugs to all
Ang
Went to church this morning. As I have many times in my 38 years, before, during and after my alcoholism. I have always believed in God (as in the majority of the world's God, Father, Son, Holy Ghost, etc)..
Anyways, went to church this morning (and they all know my situation and my recent struggles with it). Sat through the sermon with tears in my eyes for most of it. The sermon was for me. All about the lady that touched the hem of Jesus garment. That sermon was for me. I KNEW it. The entire CHURCH knew it. And yet, I left without doing what I was supposed to do. Because of pride.
Have had a pretty miserable day since. Because I did not obey. Like I need one more thing in my life to feel guilty about.
Anywhoo, going back tonight and try to make things right with me and "my" God. Because He is my higher power and I need him to succeed and to be happy.
If anyone has any leftover prayers, throw them my way.
Love and hugs to all
Ang
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Ang
When I gave it all, I wasn't in church. I was sitting on the edge of my bed.
God waited 43 years for me.
He knew the hour and the day I would answer His call. He allowed me to build my ESH over those 43 years as well. We can't ever let God down... we only let our self down. May there be no more missed blessings for either of us.
Welcome home
When I gave it all, I wasn't in church. I was sitting on the edge of my bed.
God waited 43 years for me.
He knew the hour and the day I would answer His call. He allowed me to build my ESH over those 43 years as well. We can't ever let God down... we only let our self down. May there be no more missed blessings for either of us.
Welcome home
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 94
Are you guys talking about the Third Step here? Or receiving salvation from Christ?
I finally got to go to church this morning since I got sober. It was nice and I received a little spiritual refill. I'm still working on the faith required for step two.
But I'm so glad you made peace with God. That's great!
I finally got to go to church this morning since I got sober. It was nice and I received a little spiritual refill. I'm still working on the faith required for step two.
But I'm so glad you made peace with God. That's great!
Agnostic with faith
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 94
Please don't stop reading this post just because of what I'm about to say(and said before already): I'm an agnostic. "One who holds that nothing is or can be certainly known of the existence of a God or of anything than material things susceptible to experiment and proof." (Purnell's Family Dictionary).
Please focus on the last part of the definition: anything than material...". Even though I'm not a religious person (any religion whatsoever) I travel a lot and...I'm lucky...and I visit a lot ot religious Sanctuaries because they're works of art, some of them Master-Pieces - the Vatican, Notre-Dame, Westminster Chapel, Jerónimos (Lisbon), in fact I appreciate all of them including my deceased father's home town's church and chapel as I'm sure I would appreciate all your home town's churches and chapels
They might not be the Master-Pieces I mentioned first but that's not the point I'm getting at. The point is I ALWAYS feel peace, an inner peace I don't feel anywhere else. I almost feel like bowing in respect. It's something I cannot explain and thus I don't think it's God's presence.
I think it's an inner peace, almost spiritual, I even think you might strike the almost, that's triggered when beholding such beauty and peace. I should't believe in "spiritual", it can't be materialised an subject to experiment or, better yet, proof.
But it's there, I feel it, I don't know what it is, but that inner peace is my inner force at night when i'm going to bed, when I have to tell myself "one day at a time". Pure science can't bring me this without using drugs, and I'm fleeing from them; something is and I'm sure grateful for that.
That's why I enjoy visiting religious sanctuaries, I felt the same at Toledo (Spain)Mosque.
It's a unique feeling and all of you helped me find it deeper inside me. I believe there's a lot of it even deeper and I still don't know it.
Thank You - Pedro
Please focus on the last part of the definition: anything than material...". Even though I'm not a religious person (any religion whatsoever) I travel a lot and...I'm lucky...and I visit a lot ot religious Sanctuaries because they're works of art, some of them Master-Pieces - the Vatican, Notre-Dame, Westminster Chapel, Jerónimos (Lisbon), in fact I appreciate all of them including my deceased father's home town's church and chapel as I'm sure I would appreciate all your home town's churches and chapels
They might not be the Master-Pieces I mentioned first but that's not the point I'm getting at. The point is I ALWAYS feel peace, an inner peace I don't feel anywhere else. I almost feel like bowing in respect. It's something I cannot explain and thus I don't think it's God's presence.
I think it's an inner peace, almost spiritual, I even think you might strike the almost, that's triggered when beholding such beauty and peace. I should't believe in "spiritual", it can't be materialised an subject to experiment or, better yet, proof.
But it's there, I feel it, I don't know what it is, but that inner peace is my inner force at night when i'm going to bed, when I have to tell myself "one day at a time". Pure science can't bring me this without using drugs, and I'm fleeing from them; something is and I'm sure grateful for that.
That's why I enjoy visiting religious sanctuaries, I felt the same at Toledo (Spain)Mosque.
It's a unique feeling and all of you helped me find it deeper inside me. I believe there's a lot of it even deeper and I still don't know it.
Thank You - Pedro
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,540
Originally Posted by blitz
Please don't stop reading this post just because of what I'm about to say(and said before already): I'm an agnostic. "One who holds that nothing is or can be certainly known of the existence of a God or of anything than material things susceptible to experiment and proof." (Purnell's Family Dictionary).
Please focus on the last part of the definition: anything than material...". Even though I'm not a religious person (any religion whatsoever) I travel a lot and...I'm lucky...and I visit a lot ot religious Sanctuaries because they're works of art, some of them Master-Pieces - the Vatican, Notre-Dame, Westminster Chapel, Jerónimos (Lisbon), in fact I appreciate all of them including my deceased father's home town's church and chapel as I'm sure I would appreciate all your home town's churches and chapels
They might not be the Master-Pieces I mentioned first but that's not the point I'm getting at. The point is I ALWAYS feel peace, an inner peace I don't feel anywhere else. I almost feel like bowing in respect. It's something I cannot explain and thus I don't think it's God's presence.
I think it's an inner peace, almost spiritual, I even think you might strike the almost, that's triggered when beholding such beauty and peace. I should't believe in "spiritual", it can't be materialised an subject to experiment or, better yet, proof.
But it's there, I feel it, I don't know what it is, but that inner peace is my inner force at night when i'm going to bed, when I have to tell myself "one day at a time". Pure science can't bring me this without using drugs, and I'm fleeing from them; something is and I'm sure grateful for that.
That's why I enjoy visiting religious sanctuaries, I felt the same at Toledo (Spain)Mosque.
It's a unique feeling and all of you helped me find it deeper inside me. I believe there's a lot of it even deeper and I still don't know it.
Thank You - Pedro
Please focus on the last part of the definition: anything than material...". Even though I'm not a religious person (any religion whatsoever) I travel a lot and...I'm lucky...and I visit a lot ot religious Sanctuaries because they're works of art, some of them Master-Pieces - the Vatican, Notre-Dame, Westminster Chapel, Jerónimos (Lisbon), in fact I appreciate all of them including my deceased father's home town's church and chapel as I'm sure I would appreciate all your home town's churches and chapels
They might not be the Master-Pieces I mentioned first but that's not the point I'm getting at. The point is I ALWAYS feel peace, an inner peace I don't feel anywhere else. I almost feel like bowing in respect. It's something I cannot explain and thus I don't think it's God's presence.
I think it's an inner peace, almost spiritual, I even think you might strike the almost, that's triggered when beholding such beauty and peace. I should't believe in "spiritual", it can't be materialised an subject to experiment or, better yet, proof.
But it's there, I feel it, I don't know what it is, but that inner peace is my inner force at night when i'm going to bed, when I have to tell myself "one day at a time". Pure science can't bring me this without using drugs, and I'm fleeing from them; something is and I'm sure grateful for that.
That's why I enjoy visiting religious sanctuaries, I felt the same at Toledo (Spain)Mosque.
It's a unique feeling and all of you helped me find it deeper inside me. I believe there's a lot of it even deeper and I still don't know it.
Thank You - Pedro
(((Pedro)))
Thanks for sharing.
Ang
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
((((((Ang)))))))) (((((((Pedro))))))))
I do not attend any religious services at all. I do believe deeply in the God of my understanding.
I can also identify completely with Ang and Pedro.
I have been to visit some churches and chapels that I have felt at total inner peace. I have been on an AA womens retreat, that is run by Franciscan Brothers, and the chapel and Brothers there helped me with so much with my own spirituality. Inner peace, serenity is something that I am aware of while sitting out in nature, walking the beach at sunrise, or meditating first thing in the morning.
Individual religions, beliefs, non-religious, non-beliefs. WE are all welcome in AA.
Religion or lack of... is the business of the *individual* AA member.
There are many who find their way back to church, or begin to attend the church of their choose. More power to them all, its wonderful no matter where an individual AA member finds inner peace.
This is only my thoughts. After working, applying and practicing the 12 Steps in my life, it allowed me "choice" for the time in my life. Not only with my alcoholism, but with my entire life.
Spirituality for this alkie, is found in so many different places, but its on the inside of me. There are many many things on the outside that can tap that in a heart beat today, or I can go inside and there it is......Inner Peace.
God Bless
I do not attend any religious services at all. I do believe deeply in the God of my understanding.
I can also identify completely with Ang and Pedro.
I have been to visit some churches and chapels that I have felt at total inner peace. I have been on an AA womens retreat, that is run by Franciscan Brothers, and the chapel and Brothers there helped me with so much with my own spirituality. Inner peace, serenity is something that I am aware of while sitting out in nature, walking the beach at sunrise, or meditating first thing in the morning.
Individual religions, beliefs, non-religious, non-beliefs. WE are all welcome in AA.
Religion or lack of... is the business of the *individual* AA member.
There are many who find their way back to church, or begin to attend the church of their choose. More power to them all, its wonderful no matter where an individual AA member finds inner peace.
This is only my thoughts. After working, applying and practicing the 12 Steps in my life, it allowed me "choice" for the time in my life. Not only with my alcoholism, but with my entire life.
Spirituality for this alkie, is found in so many different places, but its on the inside of me. There are many many things on the outside that can tap that in a heart beat today, or I can go inside and there it is......Inner Peace.
God Bless
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,540
The taste of "freedom" that I have this morning is the sweetest thing that I believe that I have ever felt.
I feel 10 years younger today and 50 pounds lighter (not literally, but hopefully that will come w/o the alcohol!)
I know it is just the beginning and I am not so naive to think this road is going to be easy. I know it won't. Don't really want it to be. I want hard work again. I want to "feel" again, whether it be good or bad. I am ready.
Just wanted to share with you guys. I tried sharing with my husband, but as he is not an alcoholic and probably an athiest (truth be told), he just doesnt get it.
Thanks to all of this wonderful site.
Love and hugs
Ang
I feel 10 years younger today and 50 pounds lighter (not literally, but hopefully that will come w/o the alcohol!)
I know it is just the beginning and I am not so naive to think this road is going to be easy. I know it won't. Don't really want it to be. I want hard work again. I want to "feel" again, whether it be good or bad. I am ready.
Just wanted to share with you guys. I tried sharing with my husband, but as he is not an alcoholic and probably an athiest (truth be told), he just doesnt get it.
Thanks to all of this wonderful site.
Love and hugs
Ang
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Just wanted to share with you guys. I tried sharing with my husband, but as he is not an alcoholic and probably an athiest (truth be told), he just doesnt get it.
Ang, he doesn't have to get it, you do. And you DO
What a wonderful gift that is ((((((((Ang))))))))))
Agnostic with faith
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 94
Hi Ang,
I completely identify with what you said, especially to Thanks to all of this wonderful site. My life has changed for the better since I met you. Your husband just doesn't realize what is missing.
After all he doesn't need to be an alcoholic to be able to read. You could try and show him the messages that made him understand that real life is as much for him than it is for us. There are so many beautiful and moving posts that don't even mention "alcohol" or "addiction"and could show him aspects of life he never dreamed of.
As far as beeing an atheist, you tell him that I'm an agnostic which is very close, and I've learned how to respect ebvrybody's feelings and ways of feeling. Isn't that positive to him? And you? And understanding one another?
Love
Pedro
I completely identify with what you said, especially to Thanks to all of this wonderful site. My life has changed for the better since I met you. Your husband just doesn't realize what is missing.
After all he doesn't need to be an alcoholic to be able to read. You could try and show him the messages that made him understand that real life is as much for him than it is for us. There are so many beautiful and moving posts that don't even mention "alcohol" or "addiction"and could show him aspects of life he never dreamed of.
As far as beeing an atheist, you tell him that I'm an agnostic which is very close, and I've learned how to respect ebvrybody's feelings and ways of feeling. Isn't that positive to him? And you? And understanding one another?
Love
Pedro
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 628
I tried sharing with my husband, but as he is not an alcoholic and probably an athiest (truth be told), he just doesnt get it.
You have to teach him about alcoholism and recovery. For me, the process was as painstaking as it was to get sober. It's like fighting two battles at one time. I cried a lot from tears of frustration and then cried a lot from tears of joy depending on whether I was losing the battle or winning the battle. Stay strong Ang! You can do it.
Val
Hey Ang,
My husband just handed me an unexpected Christmas gift from a year ago. It's a pack of 4 collectible shot glasses that some friends of ours brought back from Disney World. He didn't want to give them to me for obvious reasons and had them hid in his closet. Well, so he gave them to me just now and asked me to please set them out as one of the door prizes at an upcoming family gathering. Okay, so should I throw them in the trash can? That's what I feel like doing. Or am I being an enabler? It's possible he'll ask me what happened to them at the family event.
Val
Last edited by Val-light; 02-28-2005 at 01:06 PM.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,540
Hmmmmmm..... the targe practice sounds like a good idea. But they would make a nice doorprize. Maybe you can give them to someone else in the family to keep until the family reunion thing.
Just a thought.
Love
Ang
Just a thought.
Love
Ang
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 628
Thanks Ang,
I quit giving alcohol away as a gift because "there's a message in a bottle" and that message is that I'm enabling someone else to drink. Maybe it doesn't apply to shot glasses. I'll just take them out of the box and put a votive in them and maybe noone will notice.
They're certainly not calling out to me so there's no worry there.
Hey Ang,
Someone anonymously put a magnetic bumper sticker on my son's truck. He brought it in and it said:
If you're born again, do you have 2 belly buttons?
Have you checked....you know....to see if you gained an extra belly button overnight.
Your friend, Val
I quit giving alcohol away as a gift because "there's a message in a bottle" and that message is that I'm enabling someone else to drink. Maybe it doesn't apply to shot glasses. I'll just take them out of the box and put a votive in them and maybe noone will notice.
They're certainly not calling out to me so there's no worry there.
Hey Ang,
Someone anonymously put a magnetic bumper sticker on my son's truck. He brought it in and it said:
If you're born again, do you have 2 belly buttons?
Have you checked....you know....to see if you gained an extra belly button overnight.
Your friend, Val
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