Aquiana

I write so many bad things about the Abf I figured it was only fair to write the good ones too. I spent the end of last week bracing for the weekend. He had three days off for the holiday here. Friday I expected him to go out and get hammered since I worked early on Saturday so he knew I wouldn't be awake to say anything when he got home. That's the way it usually goes anyway. He didn't! He came home right after hockey! On Saturday night I was ill so when he left for hockey I thought he'd stay out. He didn't! He came home again. Sunday he had a few beers but he didn't get drunk. All around he was nice to be around all weekend. He took care of me while I was ill, even though I was whiney so I was annoying even myself. Man I wish he'd stay like that. I enjoy being around him so much when he's not drinking.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think he's miraculously changed. He'll go back to the way he was at any time I'm sure, but it was sure nice to have him here and sober for a change. It was a nice break. That's the guy I fell in love with and it was good to have him back.

gelfling

Unfortunately, we focus on the negative because the majority of the time, it's bad. And we don't know something good is happening until it hits us in the eye.

If we spent more time focusing on the positive, the negative would take a backseat. Even if the episodes are few and far between. Those little threads keep us linked to our sanity.

It's great that you were able to see something good. And know that a miracle hasn't occurred.

Hugs, Kathy

JessicaNAJ

In my situation, I come here a lot to vent - so most of my posts are about bad things, but then again, I really don't have anything good to say about my AH because as soon as I do he proves me wrong.

I think it's great that you are able to recognize the positive.

(((())))

elizabeth1979

WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I too am very proud of how mine has handled some stressful family situations and been very nice and strangelt diplomatic about them!

JennyK

I used to post on another message board where I learned a great deal about Alanon. One thing that really changed me was when someone challenged me to not post about my husband's behavior at all (good or bad) for a week. Put all the focus on myself and how I was coping.

It was eye openning...how much of my thought process was wrapped up in him...and so little on me.

That was the turning point to my own beginning of recovery.

Jenny

sunshinebluesky

i would make sure i tell him again and again how much you enjoyed the weekend even though you were sick!!!!!!

splendra

I hope you will give him some high praise for taking care of you.....

BTW my husband is the smartest,best looking, funnyest,most talented, kindest, and generous person I know and I just hate it when he gets depressed and falls into a hole that only he can pull himself out of ......