cupowater

So, he was supposed to go to the doctor, right? Well I called him at work this afternoon to see how it went. I said " What are you up to" He said "Trying to go to the doctor!" So I asked him what he meant. He said that they changed the time on him, so he missed it! He said they told him they called and left a message on the answering machine. I told him that they had called Friday and TOLD me that the apointment was at 10:30am. (mind you, I didn't even know at that time what time it was in the first place) So that night, I gave him the message, and he said "I thought it was at 1:30!" and told him that they had told me 10:30. So he said, "Oh Ok"
So I asked him if he was able to be seen, and he said no that he had to schedule for a month away. Then he said "Is that what you are doing? Calling to check up on me?" I calmly said "Nooo. I was calling to see how his blood preasure was because I was concerned about it!" Talk about paranoid! And it is not my fault that he has fried enough memory brain cells that he can't remember s#*%!!!

walkingtheline

it isn't.

It's HIS responsibility to keep track of his appointments and if need be, call to confirm them.

cupowater

Oh yes, I know! That was sarcasum in the title! I just can't believe he actually didn't remember the conversation!!!!!

walkingtheline

that they can't remember things like an appointment or to pick up the kids but they NEVER forget to go to the liquor store!

queenofthehwy

Cup

I believe I could have written the exact same post!!!! The confusing time story thing leaving messages not remembering things oh I could go on and on...........

I think this exact reason is why I am so D@*n codependent, but no more right? We are movin on up!!! Let 'em take care of thier own buisness for once.

cupowater

Yes! My mom said tonight that maybe I would have to keep reminding him of things, but I told her that it's not MY responsibility! I gave him the message, he is a grown man. it is HIS responsibility!

And yes, it IS amazing how they can forget everything BUT their alcohol!

cupowater

I told my mother about this last night, and she told me about the time that my dad (who was a contractor, and also an A) showed up at this womans house to finish her basement, and the lady told him that he had been there the day before and had already finished it!!!! He didn't remember! Black out!

Magichappens

One of my BIG character defects is being obsessed with Mr Magics health. It causes me all kinds of trouble. I worry, I fret, I question, I try to fix it. It all stems from my fear that he will get sick or die. That sounds like a caring thing, but really it's pretty selfish. The consequence of him getting sick will affect me.

As I have worked the 12 steps, I have found that I have had to let go of issues that are other people's responsibility. I have had to learn that I will be ok if I do. If my worst fears come true, I will still be ok, as long as I am taking care of me, and my responsibilities.

I still have fears. But how I react to them is changing. When I let go, I give others the right to live with dignity. They may not do what I think they should, but who am I to think that I know what is best for everyone else. The only one I can make those decisions for is me. Hugs, Magic

Lorelai

Perfect, Magic.

cwohio

yes - little by little i am practicing MMOB (mind my own business) which is so doggone hard sometimes. but magic is right - if we are taking care of ourselves, then we will be better prepared for whatever life throws at us!

cupowater

A new breakthrough book, The Alcohol Blackout by Dr. Donal F. Sweeney, reveals that people in an alcohol blackout do not forget what happens, as long believed. They are thrust into an unconscious state lasting hours or days until the alcohol in their system is metabolized. Alcohol can, under certain conditions, block memory formation in the brain.

The Alcohol Blackout: Walking, Talking, Unconscious & Lethal (Mnemosyne Press, www.alcoholblackout.com.) has already caused a stir in the legal community. Trial lawyer Lee A. McCoy says, "When Dr. Sweeney says a person in a blackout cannot form intent it is nothing less than a revolution in criminal justice."

Dr. Donal F. Sweeney, Fellow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine, reports that without memory formation, people in a blackout cannot learn, think or plan. They do not know where they are or what they are doing. Wholly impulsive, they are a danger to themselves and others. In his book, Dr. Sweeney details the cost to society and families from blackouts by detailing numerous criminal cases involving blackouts as a central issue.

Blacked out people are able to drive, travel, work and generally function in society, all the while operating without forming memory. How this is possible is explained by Dr. Sweeney: "Alcohol blocks formation of new memory, but old memory remains. People know their family and friends, their schooling, all the procedures they knew previously. They can walk, talk, drive, etc. but they have no idea what happened a minute ago or what they are going to do next."

Dr. Sweeney adds that memory formation can stop abruptly, all at once, and without warning. The person does not know he/she has blacked out nor do those around him. He points out that blackouts can happen to anyone, including moderate and first time drinkers. Because of binge drinking, blackouts are believed to be epidemic on college campuses.

rivercitybelle

Wow Cup....
That's really good information and an interesting point of view..
An A can't remember because the write to memory feature was totally disabled so they formed no memory in the first place...

cwohio

yikes - interesting but very scary!

Magichappens

I believe and have witnessed blackouts. The more I know about alcoholism, the more I believe that it is a disease. I believe that disease affects me in ways that I don't even realize. That is why my own recovery is so important. Hugs, Magic