I am one of Gods beloved children.......
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Grass Valley CA
Posts: 4
I am one of Gods beloved children.......
cleverly disguised and a DRUNK! Hi all. I am new to this board, like many have been hovering for awhile.
My story.
I'm 51 and the mother of a great daughter, have an AH, have a decent job and go to school (learning to repair computers).
Sometimes someone says something to you and never forget those words.
Around the age of 20 I was at a party with a girl friend, drinking
of course....and she innocently said to me "Wow....you're alot of fun when you drink!" And so it began...........I became the best party girl ever! I was FUN and made lots of friends. The partying continued for years. When I look back at pictures from my past they are all booze related. Inspite of the booze I have maintained pretty well. No horrible wreckage, but most definetly would have accomplished much more had I not been such a party girl. I have maintained the friendships and only a few of us have move on to the "alcoholic" stage, me being one of them. Since spending time in bars was a national past time for me, my first husband was an A. He's gone and now I have an new A. Hmmmmm...a pattern here! Didn't meet hime in a bar, didn't even go to bars anymore, met him in an online dating service......because God knows I didn't want another alcoholic!!!!! But as luck would have it, I found out later in the relationship that he was in recovery....10 years, in and out. Anyway.....over the past few years my drinking went from partying to using ALOT. Started on Friday night and continued thru Mondays (I had Mondays off) and always went to work on Tuesday with a doozy of a hangover because Mondays was "MY" day, nobody home and I could drink early and all day. WooHoo!!!! Of course I made the usual promises to myself, "I was not going to drink all the rest of the week"........yeah right! All week was 3 measely days!!!! Failed mostly. So here I am because I am so much fun when I drink! Truth is, I am no longer fun when I drink because it has become about drinking and nothing else. Drinking to feel how I used to feel when I drank. The line has been crossed and it is a vicious circle. I have quit a couple of times over the last 10 years for several moths, 1st time to support AH. Second time to support current AH. This time it's for me! I woke up one day feeling like crap and had the major quilties (again)! Through tears I informed my practicing AH about my decision, I have been sober for about a month. Gawd he's ugly when he's drunk! I don't remember being that repulsive when I was drunk!!!! hahaha! Must have been looking through beer goggles! Anyway.......I am determined that I want more for ME and beer is not in the equasion!!!! So that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Thanks for listening. Between AA and the people around here I am hoping to stay sober for the next 51 years! That should do it!
Denise
My story.
I'm 51 and the mother of a great daughter, have an AH, have a decent job and go to school (learning to repair computers).
Sometimes someone says something to you and never forget those words.
Around the age of 20 I was at a party with a girl friend, drinking
of course....and she innocently said to me "Wow....you're alot of fun when you drink!" And so it began...........I became the best party girl ever! I was FUN and made lots of friends. The partying continued for years. When I look back at pictures from my past they are all booze related. Inspite of the booze I have maintained pretty well. No horrible wreckage, but most definetly would have accomplished much more had I not been such a party girl. I have maintained the friendships and only a few of us have move on to the "alcoholic" stage, me being one of them. Since spending time in bars was a national past time for me, my first husband was an A. He's gone and now I have an new A. Hmmmmm...a pattern here! Didn't meet hime in a bar, didn't even go to bars anymore, met him in an online dating service......because God knows I didn't want another alcoholic!!!!! But as luck would have it, I found out later in the relationship that he was in recovery....10 years, in and out. Anyway.....over the past few years my drinking went from partying to using ALOT. Started on Friday night and continued thru Mondays (I had Mondays off) and always went to work on Tuesday with a doozy of a hangover because Mondays was "MY" day, nobody home and I could drink early and all day. WooHoo!!!! Of course I made the usual promises to myself, "I was not going to drink all the rest of the week"........yeah right! All week was 3 measely days!!!! Failed mostly. So here I am because I am so much fun when I drink! Truth is, I am no longer fun when I drink because it has become about drinking and nothing else. Drinking to feel how I used to feel when I drank. The line has been crossed and it is a vicious circle. I have quit a couple of times over the last 10 years for several moths, 1st time to support AH. Second time to support current AH. This time it's for me! I woke up one day feeling like crap and had the major quilties (again)! Through tears I informed my practicing AH about my decision, I have been sober for about a month. Gawd he's ugly when he's drunk! I don't remember being that repulsive when I was drunk!!!! hahaha! Must have been looking through beer goggles! Anyway.......I am determined that I want more for ME and beer is not in the equasion!!!! So that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Thanks for listening. Between AA and the people around here I am hoping to stay sober for the next 51 years! That should do it!
Denise
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Grass Valley CA
Posts: 4
Thank you all so much. Has not been easy....especially since my husband is still a practicing A. I think my quitting has escalated his drinking....and has been stressfull for me, but today I am still determind not drink.
Thank you God!
Thank you God!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Welcome Denise. I LOVE that-- "I am one of god's beloved children... cleverly disguised as a drunk." Awesome perspective. Thanks.
Keep reaching out, keep going to meetings and stay spiritually connected. You have found another great recovery resource here in SR.
hugs,
Phinny
Keep reaching out, keep going to meetings and stay spiritually connected. You have found another great recovery resource here in SR.
hugs,
Phinny
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi Denise,
I'm glad you found us! Congratulations on your decision and your one month sober. I'm sure having your husband drinking around you makes it harder, but you can do this.
Anna
I'm glad you found us! Congratulations on your decision and your one month sober. I'm sure having your husband drinking around you makes it harder, but you can do this.
Anna
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Glad you found us reading over what you wrote Quote : " Truth is, I am no longer fun when I drink because it has become about drinking and nothing else. Drinking to feel how I used to feel when I drank. The line has been crossed and it is a vicious circle.
For those of us lucky to open our eyes to the fact that, drinking wasn't fun anymore.
Life wasn't meant to be seen from the bottom of a whisky glass. I've had so many great experiences the past few years sober
Any chance you can get the hubby and go to a meeting? If, you can't, you might need to go to Alanon as well. After being sober, I don't know how all the ladies in here put up with us drunks
keep posting let us know how you and your hubby are doing
chris
For those of us lucky to open our eyes to the fact that, drinking wasn't fun anymore.
Life wasn't meant to be seen from the bottom of a whisky glass. I've had so many great experiences the past few years sober
Any chance you can get the hubby and go to a meeting? If, you can't, you might need to go to Alanon as well. After being sober, I don't know how all the ladies in here put up with us drunks
keep posting let us know how you and your hubby are doing
chris
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: new york, ny
Posts: 13
Denise....Welcome...... you are really funny and seem to have a good, healthy sense of humor..... I could actually imagine your laugh... bet it is hearty.... I have found that humor is the best defense against drinking!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Grass Valley CA
Posts: 4
Hi all......thanks for the support. I do think that my sense of humor has sustained me! I have been going to meetings...AA, Alanon, Weight Watchers....gawd I need alot of help!!!! lol
To Captain......my AH is on day 5 of as I call it "check out drinking-vodka". I had him move into spare bedroom on Friday...pretty much been in there drinking...passing out...drinking..... passing out. Every morning when he stumbles out for beer to start day so he can get normal enough to drive to store for more vodka and beer I say good morning...blah blah and then ask him if he's ready to quit. Answers...no. Today he stumbled out and and said he is ready to stop.....I will not get too excited, but will pray alot. As for me I will continue to do my day as normal...go to work, go to meeting, go to school tonight. Again...thanks all!
To Captain......my AH is on day 5 of as I call it "check out drinking-vodka". I had him move into spare bedroom on Friday...pretty much been in there drinking...passing out...drinking..... passing out. Every morning when he stumbles out for beer to start day so he can get normal enough to drive to store for more vodka and beer I say good morning...blah blah and then ask him if he's ready to quit. Answers...no. Today he stumbled out and and said he is ready to stop.....I will not get too excited, but will pray alot. As for me I will continue to do my day as normal...go to work, go to meeting, go to school tonight. Again...thanks all!
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