susan_17

I have commended by taking the third step to live by spiritual principles like: kindness, love, forgivness, tolerance, patience, faith, hope, etc... I'm not perfect by no means but I try my hardest to align my life and actions on what I believe would be parallel to God's will. I feel on a deep level how powerless I am over my addiction giving me power to recover through God, if that makes since to anyone. I know that I have been set free, now its my responsibility to maintain it. I sense God's presence giving me peace and calmness within, although He hasn't taken away my earthly pain and struggles. I lost all the money I had yesterday, then lost my job tonight. I was extremely upset but tears fall from my eyes now not because of the money or the job but because I still feel like everything is going to be ok. My reaction to what's going on hasn't been negative, which reveals to me, I'm changing without even realizing it. When I noticed I had lost my money I thought that who ever found it may have needed it more than I. Maybe me losing my money was a blessing for someone else. I'm not quite sure why my job fell through but I've been told when one door closes another one opens. I can't dwell on the door closed or I might not see the one that has opened before me. I'm not quite sure how I will get by till I find another job, but I have faith that God has something planned, if I just pray for his guidance and do the foot work. I'm not sure if I should be posting this on the newcomer's board with all my talk about God. I firmly believe though, that if it were not for God I wouldn't be sitting here writing this now. It is only through Him and the program (A.A) He blessed me with, that I have faith, love, hope, and most of all the strength to perservere when things get rough. The thought of taking a drink hasn't even crossed my mind, which is a miracle. I am so grateful to be an alcoholic/addict today. I never would have discovered this way of life if I weren't. They say that the three spiritual principles that are indispensible are honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. They all have came very slowly for me through many relapses, the last being honesty (with myself). Thank God I kept hearing "Keep coming back" because I have found a way of life that keeps getting better with time. I'm starting to ramble... To anyone still struggling, give yourself a chance to experience sobriety, for it's the best thing that has ever happened to me! I love you all! God bless... Susan

Shadow3

Thank you Susan for posting. I am sorry that you had to face such hard ordeals all at one time. The one thing that I can honestly say is what was told to me (and I hated it everytime my sponsor would say this, but today, I find this to be one of the Great truths - such that it is). "God never gives us more than HE and I can handle" See the one thing that I have noticed around the tables is that little word. I hear all the time that God doesn't give you any more than you can handle - the whole point of that is that we depend upon HIM for guidance and to rely on HIM for help. So, when I hear that I can handle it I just cringe - because for me and in my opinion - I didn't do anything except to figure out that I have a problem. With that this is my fact: "God brought me to AA and AA brought me to my God as I understand HIM". What a concept!?
Hang in there, with the steps, and support that you already have in place God will open a window somewhere for you. One of the things I forever need to be reminded of is the fact that I have to do all of the foot-work for everything that I have or want in the future. My HP doesn't just hand me anything. Does yours'? If yes, can I borrow your HP just for a little while? At the moment I am having a small problem with a couple of my sponsees - damn they are treating me just as I have been treating my own sponsor, and it is really making me mad (upset). Think maybe, I need to change something in what I am doing, what do you think?
TY, Later, Have a wonderfully sober day, JeanS

Val-light

Susan...Shadow...thank you for your inspiration.
Val

Little Missy

(((Susan))) Great post!! Isn't it amazing that we now turn to our HP for guidance in our daily activies not just in times of trouble!! AA - what a wonderful program!! Keep your chin up, you are doing great!! Your HP will never let you fall!!

Hugs,
Missy

lost puppy

It makes me think of that poem that I don't know in its entirety, but the premise is two sets of foot prints in the sand and questioning why after a while there was only one set of prints. And the reply was that is where I carried you.
To think there is not a plan for us or situations that happen to shape who we will be or to strengthen for what lies ahead is for me the back bone of my faith.
Laymens: every thing happens for a reason and you are only given what you can handle.
Don't you wish he didn't trust you so much?
Keep your eye on the horizon, plan today,deal with yesterday,and try to smile always.

mikee

By Shadow3 "God never gives us more than HE and I can handle"
Susan, I see you have some strong supporters here! Being patient and following Gods will, absolutely! Great post.
God Bless,
mikee.