Hello All
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Port Clinton Ohio
Posts: 3
Hello All
Well I'm new here and I definitly have a problem with alcohol. I knew it a while back but I didn't bother seeking any type of help.
I now know that if it isn't finished already, my drinking will tear my marriage apart. I have done something that will probably make my wife ever love me again the other night.
Everytime I drink, I blackout. I always do some things that I dont know untill I wake up the next morning to have my wife or friends tell me about it.
I dont drink much because of where I live. Alcohol is illegal here but it doesn't mean you cant find it.
I'll just start with this. I truely love my wife with all my heart and I never want to hurt her. Everytime I'm drunk I do just the exact opposite. I yell at her and this last time I went to far and slapped her. I know people say that drunk actions are true actions but I cant believe that. I value her more then I do myself. Of course I woke up after the other night and found she was gone. I called her and she was at her friends house and she told me what I've done. Our marriage is very new and this is the first time she's been married and I wanted it to be so special for her but I have turned it into hell for her.
She is going back to her parent's house to do some thinking and she also told me she truly regrets marrying me. I cant blame her at all.
I just want some information on what I can do to try to better this. I plan on going back to the states to clean myself while she goes to her parents. I want to meet with her again and be a new man.
Do any of you think I have crossed the boundry? Have I gone too far for her to ever accept me back?
I now know that if it isn't finished already, my drinking will tear my marriage apart. I have done something that will probably make my wife ever love me again the other night.
Everytime I drink, I blackout. I always do some things that I dont know untill I wake up the next morning to have my wife or friends tell me about it.
I dont drink much because of where I live. Alcohol is illegal here but it doesn't mean you cant find it.
I'll just start with this. I truely love my wife with all my heart and I never want to hurt her. Everytime I'm drunk I do just the exact opposite. I yell at her and this last time I went to far and slapped her. I know people say that drunk actions are true actions but I cant believe that. I value her more then I do myself. Of course I woke up after the other night and found she was gone. I called her and she was at her friends house and she told me what I've done. Our marriage is very new and this is the first time she's been married and I wanted it to be so special for her but I have turned it into hell for her.
She is going back to her parent's house to do some thinking and she also told me she truly regrets marrying me. I cant blame her at all.
I just want some information on what I can do to try to better this. I plan on going back to the states to clean myself while she goes to her parents. I want to meet with her again and be a new man.
Do any of you think I have crossed the boundry? Have I gone too far for her to ever accept me back?
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Our house.
Posts: 816
Hi Ericlee,
Welcome to the forum.
Firstly i dont agree with people that say that drunk actions are true actions. Many of the awful things i did drinking i would never do sober. I am responsible for my behaviours and for me that means not drinking. Simple as.
Your behaviour was undoubtably unacceptable but only your wife can answer whether you have gone too far for her ever to accept you back.
The only thing that you can do is become the new man that you talk about and take it from there.
Keep posting on the forum and check out your local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
Best Wishes
Evanna.
Welcome to the forum.
Firstly i dont agree with people that say that drunk actions are true actions. Many of the awful things i did drinking i would never do sober. I am responsible for my behaviours and for me that means not drinking. Simple as.
Your behaviour was undoubtably unacceptable but only your wife can answer whether you have gone too far for her ever to accept you back.
The only thing that you can do is become the new man that you talk about and take it from there.
Keep posting on the forum and check out your local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
Best Wishes
Evanna.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi and welcome!
We all have the ability to recover, restore relationships and find peace within. However, it takes some work, courage and determination and in so doing the key is to not drink. If you think your alcholic, there is help. There are many options for recovery, you have to decide what works best for you. Don't beat yourself up to bad, they don't call this disease ruled by the demon for naught. If you can clean up your act, quit, start re-establishing those trust issues, life can be good, and your marriage can be a happy one. You'll find a lot of support here, scroll around the various forums and see how others do it. *hugs*
We all have the ability to recover, restore relationships and find peace within. However, it takes some work, courage and determination and in so doing the key is to not drink. If you think your alcholic, there is help. There are many options for recovery, you have to decide what works best for you. Don't beat yourself up to bad, they don't call this disease ruled by the demon for naught. If you can clean up your act, quit, start re-establishing those trust issues, life can be good, and your marriage can be a happy one. You'll find a lot of support here, scroll around the various forums and see how others do it. *hugs*
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Hi Ericlee, and welcome.
More importantly, do you think you've crossed a boundary?
How do you feel about your like this minute? It's perhaps best that you and your wife will have this time apart. There is a need to focus on you here, and to become brutally honest with yourself. That's always a key ingredient in getting well.
Glad you came in.
We do get better.
More importantly, do you think you've crossed a boundary?
How do you feel about your like this minute? It's perhaps best that you and your wife will have this time apart. There is a need to focus on you here, and to become brutally honest with yourself. That's always a key ingredient in getting well.
Glad you came in.
We do get better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Port Clinton Ohio
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by DangerousDan
Hi Ericlee, and welcome.
More importantly, do you think you've crossed a bondary?
How do you feel about your like this minute? It's perhaps best that you and your wife will have this time apart. There is a need to focus on you here, and to become brutally honest with yourself. That's always a key ingredient in getting well.
Glad you came in.
We do get better.
More importantly, do you think you've crossed a bondary?
How do you feel about your like this minute? It's perhaps best that you and your wife will have this time apart. There is a need to focus on you here, and to become brutally honest with yourself. That's always a key ingredient in getting well.
Glad you came in.
We do get better.
To focus on myself might be wrong right now but I am the one who has torn what we have. The way I feel about my like now. All I have to say is I've taken granted of the most special thing I ever had.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Port Clinton Ohio
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Chy
I think your suffering a bad case of the guilities, they're horrible huh? The only way to right your wrongs IS to focus on you right now! *hugs*
I feel guilty for taking so many drinks because I know what would happen. I wish it didn't take this long for me to figure I have a problem. I did know I had the problem but I was too negligent about it.
She has told me she's sorry for making my life miserable to do what I've done but I told her needn't worry, it's not her fault at all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Originally Posted by Ericlee
yeah, I do feel very guilty.
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