Shel

so should I consider this MY way out???

I am going out tonight with a few girls for a birthday......I agreed to go last week (they ask me all the time to go out but I haven't becasue I know the reaction I will get..codie in me ) at any rate I told him last night ....as soon as I said what I was doing, I got the slient treatment. I was good (proud of myslef) I didn't get into it with him or try to explain myself...I just let it go ...about 10pm I asked him if he wanted to talk ..he said NOPE..so I went to bed. This morning i wake to hi wanting a little hankey pankey..so I comply (which it was good..LOL) at any rate I call him this afternoon (he is home with the kids on Friday's) we are having small talk etc...told him I filed the taxes ..he didn't really have a response..so I said "do you care" and he said "not really" I ask WHY..and he says you know WHY....then basically tell s me if I am choosing to go out tonight with my friends that "ITS OVER" he is not putting up with the BS??? (last weekend I went to my sister's for 4 hours and he said the same thing before I left..that I was going to drink and not be able to drive home BLAH BLAH....well I was home at midnight NOT drunk ..but yet no apology from him .....) so now he is saying the same thing I know it is his insecurrities, becasue 2 of these friends are single and like to "hook up" with men.....so of course he thinks that is why I am going!! when above all, one of these girls was getting calls from him in the middle of the night (when he was drunk) asking to be picked up..so they could "get together"...it happened a few times then my friend told me .....of course he denied at first but has since admitted to calling...she never did pick him up and eventually quit answering her phone!

Trust me I am going out tonight..... I know he won't be leaving it is just a threat to see what I will do ....but WHY am I feeling guilty? when in reality if he does follow thru it would be a blessing for me and my kids!

just feel sick to my stomach becasue I am hurt that he doesn't see the reality of the situation and pissed becasue of it!

cwohio

shel - go out and have fun. you know, like you said, that he is just trying to get a reaction out of you. you are entitled to enjoy yourself. it's all about their insecurities and our learned behaviors/reactions.

JessicaNAJ

There were a lot of times I didn't go out b/c I didn't trust my AH not to drink when he was home alone with the kids and It didn't make sense to pay a sitter or ask family when he was capable of watching them - Now, I'm sorry I didn't go out more.

I still don't go out b/c now he's always thinking I'm meeting some guy or something. I'm trying to break that guilty behavior.

Have a good time. Do this for YOU!!

queenofthehwy

shel,

Go, have fun!! If he's anything like mine (and that story makes me believe he's exactly like mine) he will get over it and find something else to be mad about.

mindi

TinyVoice

I'm sorry I can't remember....your H or SO? He was calling a friend of yours in the middle of the night to come pick him up? YOu were together then?

Why is he concerned about your drinking? All sounds like my ex-SO. He truly lived a double-standard rule. He had rules for me that he expected me to live up to but had NONE for himself. Pure Bull****!!!