WOW! I was wrong!
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
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WOW! I was wrong!
Well, guess who is back at the bar tonight!!!!! I came home and I could tell he had had a few, even though it wasn't so easy to tell. Only a "wife" could tell that! Then when he got in the car, (for me to drop him at the bar on my way to my art meeting) I could smell that stale alcohol smell on his breath! And I thought he REALLY quit!!!!! Learn something new every day! Wonder where he is hiding the booz. He didn't have it out in the open!
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 193
(((cupowater))) - I'm sooo sorry... I've been keeping my fingers crossed for you. I certainly can relate to the dashed hopes... I also know that "only a wife could tell" feeling... as soon as my AH has had a single shot I know...
Please keep safe... if he's anything like my AH he's been harboring his emotions about the posts he found and it may come out now...
Love & hugs!
Christine
Please keep safe... if he's anything like my AH he's been harboring his emotions about the posts he found and it may come out now...
Love & hugs!
Christine
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
I DO know exactly how you feel. It is expected and disappointing and heartbreaking and just another day on the roller coaster.
Millions of hugs to you and I know that you have been level headed through his brief sobriety...you will be fine.
It just refocuses that you can not control it. As much as you say or don't say...until he is ready to stop, he won't. I was in the same exact place as you a few years ago. I found an Alanon board and it changed me. 3 years later, I was able to say "Drink again and you are out" and MEAN it. It is a long road and for me it took a few years of living WITH him and working on me to be able to mean it.
As optimistic as I am for my husband now and as proud of him as I am, I still have an action plan if he comes home drunk. I have some money, I have a place to stay and I will take the children and leave. I am certain that I can and will do this. He knows it and I know it. It was a long and hard and rewarding process to come to have that strength.
You are in my prayers.
Jenny
Millions of hugs to you and I know that you have been level headed through his brief sobriety...you will be fine.
It just refocuses that you can not control it. As much as you say or don't say...until he is ready to stop, he won't. I was in the same exact place as you a few years ago. I found an Alanon board and it changed me. 3 years later, I was able to say "Drink again and you are out" and MEAN it. It is a long road and for me it took a few years of living WITH him and working on me to be able to mean it.
As optimistic as I am for my husband now and as proud of him as I am, I still have an action plan if he comes home drunk. I have some money, I have a place to stay and I will take the children and leave. I am certain that I can and will do this. He knows it and I know it. It was a long and hard and rewarding process to come to have that strength.
You are in my prayers.
Jenny
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
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Thanks. Only thing is I CAN'T kick HIM out! When we devorced, he got everything, and the house is in his name! Sounds easy, right? But the house is on the land that my mom gave me as part of my early inheritence, (the land has been in my family for almost 100 years!) and I would break her heart if it sold! She is still alive and lives next door!
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Join Date: May 2004
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Originally Posted by cupowater
Then when he got in the car, (for me to drop him at the bar on my way to my art meeting)
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Yes, I figured someone would say something about that. I was leaving for my art league meeting and it is at the end of our lane, so he just wanted to ride with me that far. I know it is an oxy moron to drop him there when I don't want him to drink, but what am I supposed to do when we are leaving the house at the same time? (thats not meant to be a snobby question. Just a retorical one!) At least he won't DRIVE there!
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
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It's ok, you don't have to defend yourself!! I just wanted to make sure that I understood. I think I would have trouble with doing that, but that's just me.
I really don't know about the house thing - have you taken legal advice?
I really don't know about the house thing - have you taken legal advice?
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
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cup - been there, done that like some of the rest have said here. i hope i can get to the point that jennyk has and be ready to follow thru if i am to the point where enough is enough! hugs to you - i know how disappointing it is and i DO know that feeling of absolutely knowing when they have even had a smidge to drink!
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Minnie, no, I havent taken any leagle action. I have thought of getting leagle adVICE! I want to know what my rights are. I wish so bad that the land issue wasn't such a big issue! It just puts a big road block there!
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Well, long story short, he wouldn't build on the land unless it was in BOTH out names, so my mom reluctantly did that, then a few years later, I had an affair. We both wanted the kids to live in that house and go to those schools (one of the main reasons we built it!) and I couldn't afford to live there and support the boys, so he took custody, and put the house and all the debt in his name, and I moved out! He makes tripple what I do! 
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