Mandybabes

I think I fell upon a club or community aa meeting rather than the traditional type, maybe that is why I am hesitant to go back. They own the building. Anyone have some insight on this?

TechGuy

I'm relatively new to AA, but I can tell you what it's like around where I live. Here in Atlanta, there are a number of "clubhouses" where groups rent, lease, or own the building or location they meet at. There's nothing fundamentally different about the meetings held there. It's just kind of a "permanent" spot where meetings are held. The good thing about the clubs here is that most of them have regularly scheduled meetings every day, whereas groups that meet in churches or community centers may only have a meeting or two during the week.

You don't mention why you might have felt uncomfrotable there, but here's what I've observed. What really kind of intimidated me is that the people at the clubhouse meetings tended to all know each other pretty well. At first, they almost seemed like a clique to me. Since I'm not the most outgoing person, especially now that I quit drinking, I kind of felt like an outsider.

The place I go regularly now is a club. What I realized is that they were just regular people who had the same problem as me with alcohol. Since clubhouses typically have numerous meetings throughout the week though, it gave the attendees more opportunities to get to know each other and become good friends. I just had to come out of my shell some and actually introduce myself to some of them. This probably sounds simplistic, but that's how it went for me.

A great person on these boards once told me that all groups have their own dynamics. If you really aren't comfortable there, and there are other groups within driving range, go check them out too until you find one you're comfortable with. When you do, talk to someone and find out what other groups they attend.

Chy

Hmmm.. I never heard of it, but will see what some of the old timers have to say.

Time2Surrender

Are you talking about "Alano Clubs "? If so,I think they are great.We have a few around here in the Portland metro Area.Its a good place to hang out when your new in recovery.Most of these clubs have AA/NA meetings.The meetings are in no way affiated with the club itself.Its just another place to hold a meeting.Also,don't let one or twio bad meetings keep you from AA.Every meeting is different and has it's own personality.try other meeting's if you didnt feel comfortable with the one's at the club.

jlo34

Early in sobriety I enjoyed going to all meetings, including our local clubhouse. I would only go to the clubhouse for a meeting, primarily. Well, way back about 12 years ago, I was very upset, had been in class, got out and went to the clubhouse to meet my sponsor. My sponsor was inside at the meeting so I figured I'd wait for her...the guy who was in charge at the time, told me to either pay dues or get out. I told him I didn't have any money-so he kicked me out. I didn't return there for probably 10 years. The man has since passed on; I've realized that his decision to kick me out was just that-his decision; and that just because I had a bad experience there, doesn't mean I'm going to have a bad experience again. I can't blame the clubhouse-it wasn't there fault; it was this one man's decision. He had a reputation for being an old-miserable timer anyway. I have gotten back into regularly attending the noon meetings at the clubhouse and though their format is different than most of the other groups I go to; there are a lot of new people there; there are a lot of people that are court ordered; there are a lot of people who WANT to stay sober, etc. Plus we have fabulous after-meetings. All of us gals get together and talk for hours!!! It's a great thing. There's a lot of great meetings. I get out of them what I put into them. I have attended some that were less than wonderful; but then I have to ask myself; did I do anything to try and get the meeting back to the topic or choose a more appropriate AA-related topic? Every time the answer to at least one of the questions is no. I have a sponsor that use to tell me to ALWAYS have a topic in my head before I get to a meeting, so when the inevitable second "moment of silence" happens you can bring up the topic. Lots of great topics to bring up; last week I brought up Tradition 1 at a table - everyone looked a bit surprised; of the 3 other tables going, we were the last one to finish - and it was a fantastic meeting. I figured we'd be the first one done!!!

Good luck Marilyn,
Love,
Jen

amitiredenuff

Lots of good feedback here. Where I live there are many different meetings held at churches and other facilities. We do have a clubhouse, but it is made clear at the beginning of the meeting that the clubhouse is in no way affiliated with AA. In other words the building is not owned, but leased. There is a board, treasurer, etc to handle paying rent, etc. AA very explicitly says "there are no dues, fees, etc" required for AA membership. The only requirement is a "desire to stop drinking". We ask for donations and pass the basket at every meeting and there is coffee in the back for which they ask a quarter, only to continue to purchase coffee, sugar, etc. and that if you don't have one, it's okay. There are always "issues" when a group of alcoholics get together, because there is always someone who wants to be chief. But the AA program, in it's traditions covers just about any "issues" that come up if we're willing to follow it's suggestions. Clubhouses can be a little intimidating at first because many of the people already know each other, but it can also be very comforting. After a while you become a part of and when you don't come around you are missed and when you come again you are greeted and people are glad to see you. Many of us have not been "a part of" too much of anything. We have looked on from the outside, not building lasting relationships and never letting anyone "know" us. It's a great place to start. Go, listen, learn, choose those with "what you want" in recovery to build relationships with. Stick with the winners. They are out there.

Ami

3legacy

Marilyn :
Good topic. Some very good points laid out here already for you by some caring members of A.A.

So much truth in that statement.

Appears to me that these A.A. Traditions were designed specifically for A.A. Groups. "The A.A. Home Group is where it all begins", is one of the pamphlets my Home Group puts out on the tables regularly. Today I continue learning more and more about just why this is so important.

I was very confused in early sobriety because of the implied affiliations with outside organizations. Ignorance was the rule it seemed and it was tough to get any real answers until (Thank God) I found good, sound, full Three Legacy A.A. Sponsorship. He took the time to answer my questions and made sure they were not just his opinion but backed in A.A. Principle.
:tri

THREE LEGACIES of A.A.

Recovery (Our 12 Steps)

Unity (Our 12 Traditions)

Service (Our 12 Concepts)


I found out the Alano Club and Fellowship Hall meetings I was attending regularly early on were creating their own meetings. They were often called A.A. meetings, but the message they often carried had little to due with what I have found A.A. Groups actually responsible for offering. When the basket was past around in 7th Tradition fashion, much of what I heard turned out not to be true. Monies collected went to cover the cost of "their business"(the Alano Club/Fellowship Hall) not necessarily for doing A.A.'s business.

A few Groups actually met within these facilities and paid their respective rent, bought coffee, then after expenses - passed money on to District, Intergroup, Area and then onto our General Service Office. However, the norm was just the opposite. Meetings perpetuated more meetings. Generic fellowshipping became the focus rather than A.A. Groups with informed Group "Conscience" holding the meetings and using our 12 Traditions as their guide for functionality.

My sponsor walked me into surfing other meetings with him and some friends. I was shown a big difference between meetings of alcoholics, and meetings held by functioning Groups of Alcoholics Anonymous. Seldom were the meetings I attended being held by groups which held regularly scheduled business meetings. Most folks I ran into only gave lip service to our Traditions by reading them at the beginning of meetings. I did find that about 10 percent had a GSR and participated as a small part of the Great Whole of AA through their respective Districts & Areas.

This helped me become a proponent of Home Groups rather than meetings, meetings and more meetings. My sponsor said for me to become a part of, I might want to join a functioning Group and put the life-preserver of our Circle & Triangle around my waist. That way I might not drown in the ignorance of the masses WAVES that crash upon our Spires of Principle. Makes even more sense today as I look around me.

There are some other threads in the Alcoholics Anonymous Forums on this site which get into this discussion as well as other matters of A.A. Principles as well. Please feel free to come join US there if you wish or PM me and maybe we can get together in the Chatroom sometime.

((((((((((Marilyn)))))))))))
Kiss Heart of Spirit
In Love & Service
3 Legacy

Mandybabes

Thank you all for your input here. I will try to go back to the first group but think I will try other meetings as well. There are so many meetings available here, I am really so surprised.

3legacy

(((((((Marilyn))))))))
Good to hear it and ty for asking the good question.