Kimberly

Hi - I was on these boards last summer, but I guess you know why I didn't come back. I am so sick of poisoning myself. I am a 40 yr old mom of a 7 and 8 year old who can harldy wait until 5:30 pm every day. I drink even when my husband is traveling. I forget things, I have circles under my eyes constantly, and I am short tempered. I smoke when I drink. I am an avid exerciser and my lungs can feel the cigarettes the next day. I want to lose 10 lbs but it won't budge because I pour empty calories down my throat 7 days a week. I drink when I shouldn't - when on certain medications or when I have to drive. I should have been arrested or crashed my car a few times, although not recently. I NEVER refuse a drink. I wake up hating myself. Has anyone tried hypnotherapy? I cannot bring myself to go to a meeting. That seems like another addiction to me. I am afraid there will be someone there that I know. I'm afraid if I don't drink I won't be able to shut off my mind and go to sleep. I think I can get through the week, but I want to be able to drink on the wkd which seems like a stupid goal. If I take a couple days off, I think to myself, see you can do it, and get right back in the rut again. I want to FEEL GOOD, remember things, slim down, look refreshed not haggard. Stop having a headache. I want to change my attitude toward alcohol and not need it so much. I'm tired.

Anna

Hi Kimberly,

I felt like I had to drink to shut off my mind too. It's a horrible feeling to be so dependent on alcohol just to shut down your mind. The funny thing is that when I stopped drinking, my mind began, slowly, to quiet itself. I had to do a lot of work in that area on self-esteem but I was able to get out of the alcohol rut. You can too!

Stay sober today and make that your goal.

Love, Anna

Ama

Dear Kimberley,

Havent time to respond fully to your post but just wanted to wish you well on your journey to recovery. Yes is wont be easy all the time. But the fringe benefits to sobriety are manifold. They include little things like; waking up in the morning in the bed you are supposed to be in; waking up in the morning and remembering the night before; waking up in the morning with a clear head; waking up in the morning and being able to open your eyes; waking up in the morning with the knowledge that you are in reality with gift of sobriety. These are just a couple and sure that is even before you put a foot out of the bed!!!!

Get well, find sobriety and may the promises be bestowed on you and yours.....

Luvs and Recovery Ama

Chy

Hey Kimberly,
Been there done that to! I know the feeling. But I finally had to realize I just couldn't drink period. The sickness, the physical deterioration, the weight, the headache, but got to get to 5 pm to drink huh? I know. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Moderation didn't work for me. I came to accept if I wanted to get healthy, feel better, look better, have a better outlook I just had to stop. Easy? Hell no! I found a means of support that worked for me. You can to. I've heard people have minor success with hypnotherapy, but the key in that is you have to WANT to completly quit. It won't help to abstain M-F and hoop it up on the weekends. I also hear any results are only temporary. You don't need hynotherapy, you just need an honest resolve to do this once and for all. I know it's scary thinking of life without alcohol. With time it doesn't become much of a thought, once you restore healthy habits into your life, stay busy with the family, do things of interest to you, and oh that all seems such a chore and impossible goal doesn't it? Time my dear, time is a powerful thing if you allow the process to unfold.

Glad to see you back!

nodope

Kimberly,

I ditto Anna's suggestion. Make it for today.

Reread your post. That's quite important things you want for yourself.