help this morning

Old 01-21-2005, 06:49 AM
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help this morning

I posted this AM but now I don't see it- this is the deal- my Ah picked me up @ ork last night drunk as all get out- long story short- we got n a huge fight after he called me everything but a child of Christ and I put him out of the car 25 miles from home and left him there. ( I have never never tok up for myself like that before) Anywho- he found a way home 3 hrs or so later and he broke our glass front door and coffee table and cursed me up and down- I threatened to call the cops- but he says if I do we are over for good-- so I chickened out
help
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Old 01-21-2005, 07:32 AM
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So the drunken verbal abuse became physical in terms of breaking down doors and furniture?
Please think about a "safe" plan for yourself... a safe place to go if you need to. It's much easier to do when you can think calmly.
DV & alcoholism are both progressive.
By creating a safe back up plan you are doing something nice for yourself... You need to take care of you.
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Old 01-21-2005, 07:48 AM
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Elli,

You will be "over for good" well that would be tough to deal with because of all his charm and house decorating skills. Seriously, ask yourself how many more years or episodes like this do you want to deal with. Has his drinking been less and behavior much better as compared to years past? If not, you may one day look back at today and refer to them as the good old days. It is hard to offer firm or even general advice because so much is left out. Have you been married long and are thier kids? Are you 72 years old or 27?

Safety is the prime concern at all times. It does sound like he is a nasty drunk, and by and large those are the ones you want to avoid. It sounds like you need an exit plan, unless you find this situation tolerable. People on this board will give you solid advice. However, it will be varied advice. ONLY YOU know how bad or dangerous this situation is. ONLY YOU knows if there is something to be saved by staying, or saved by leaving. ONLY YOU, Knew what level of danger he is or could become.

Curious, when you got in the car with this drunk to all get out guy-who drove? He had driven himself there showing total lack of concern and sfety to everyone on the road. I just am wondering if you got the same level of concern......peace
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Old 01-21-2005, 08:56 AM
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Ellima - We have all seen that behavior (in one way or another) way too many times. You know, he'll probably act like Mr. Nice guy and somehow turn it around that YOU did something wrong.

Whatever happens, take care of you - remove yourself from his behavior, if only for the night. Let things cool down a bit, do something for yourself.

I'm proud of you for putting him out of the car. That is something I have never been able to do because then I start feeling bad - AWESOME!!
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Old 01-21-2005, 08:57 AM
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Oh yeah - I'd let him figure out how to get a new glass for the front door and table.
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Old 01-21-2005, 10:21 AM
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If you can figure out how to "let him get new glass for the broken items" let me know how you did it. My AH is sober now, but he would break things left and right when he was drunk and it didn't matter to him. It was "our" money that ended up getting spent to replace expensive items no matter who did the fixing. It was usually I who had to replace necessary items because it didn't bother him or he could bug me more by not replacing things. This is a symptom of a much greater problem, I know, but it still bugs me a little....having to explain holes in the wall to guests that asked or fixing it myself? I would usually fix it myself. I still feel bad about it. Resentment I have to let go. I will say that it doesn't take long before breaking "things" isn't enough for him and you need to protect yourself. Don't accept rides from him anymore. Have a plan to get out. Call the cops next time, because it being over for good may be your savior.
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