hopealwayz

I talked to the guy I am in love with (who doesn't love me back) earlier today and he said some really hurtful things. Why can't I get over him? I'm trying so hard but it is so rough. He says he definitely doesn't have feelings for me and he is always talking about how all the girls at my school are so beautiful like barbie but I guess he just thinks I'm average which isn't good enough for him. Why do I continue to love someone like that who does nothing but poison my soul? I love myself for the person God made me.

I really feel like taking a drink to make the hurt go away. I wish I could get him out of my head! I'm learning to love myself and he makes me feel like crap.

Sorry, I just had to vent because I'm trying to get this out of my head so I can study.

Hope

gonzo

Hi Hope,
I am sorry you are hurting...
Nothing i can say will change that. But I try simple rule when I consider the choices i'm making, (especially when I cant see past my nose, which happens alot),I ask myself " If my daughter was in this situation, What advice would I give Her?"
So, Try that and give yourself the Good advice that you would offer a friend...

See if that helps, Other wise I will tell you that you deserve better if someone doesn't appreciate you for who you are......

Love and support/hugs,
Cindy

mikee

Assertive training;Im still learning this, once you figure out what you really need, don't be afraid to express it.

sherbear5104

(((Hope)))

Hang in there. Please don't pick up that drink. It will not take the problem away. It will only make you feel worse. Keep your head up, and don't think badly of yourself. He is the one who lost out by not wanting you in his life. Someone better will come along, when the time is right.

Sherry

hopealwayz

Thanks so much for being here. I'm still hanging on and still haven't picked up a drink. He readily admits that he doesn't like himself for who he is so maybe he is just confused. Tonight, instead of being angry, I'm going to say a prayer for him before I go to sleep. God is in control of his life and will get him to where he needs to be when the time is right. God is also going to get me to where I need to be at the right time.

Tonight, I had a decision to make on something that would cause me to have to see this guy two days a week, and something in my heart told me that it was the right thing to do for ME regardless of whether or not I had to see HIM. It was a hard decision because I wanted to get away from him, but I prayed about it and I think the alternative is what God gave as an answer even if it meant being in contact with him during the week. Maybe God has a purpose for me being in his life? It is all up to Him.When I am in control, I turn into a train wreck, lol. I can't so I will let God.

Hope

sunshine04

I know what you are going through. I have also been there with my ex husband. He use to make me feel so worthless and ugly that I would just pour myself another and block it all out. I have learned that it is only words and that they themselves are insecure and unhappy, so that is why they do and say the things to hurt others. You have toremeber that you are a good and decent person and that you do not need someone like that in your life. Surround yourself with people who care about you. You must also care about yourself, or otherwise you would not have come to this recovery. Love your self and smile there is always a tomorrow and it could be better than today.

Anna

Hi Hope,

You're doing just great! Sadly sometimes we love someone who doesn't love us back. You said he told you he didn't like himself and that probably has a lot to do with his feelings toward you. It's hard to love someone else if you don't love yourself. And, that's what you're starting to do - love yourself. I know it's no comfort now, but it will hurt less as time goes by. And, I think you made the right choice (about taking the class he's in I think?). Hang in there.

Love, Anna

hopealwayz

Wow, I'm so inspired by the words of wisdom I have received. At this point in my life, I am probably better off single because I am new to sobriety and I don't even have myself figured out right now much less trying to deal with a guy in my life.

I am going to move on from him which may be difficult by being in the same class as him twice a week but this is the answer I received from my prayer so I'll just go with it and see what happens......life is strange, we never know how things will turn out.

Love and hugs--
Hope

Chy

Sobriety allows us to grow up all over again. Give yourself some much needed space to find yourself, figure out your dreams and goals, then one by one start reaching for them. You don't need a boyfriend to tell you your a beautiful person, there is someone worthy of you out there waiting. Once your connected with yourself, you'll find the right one, no doubt about it! *hugs*

bikewench

Hope...

Last Friday.. I'm standing in Costco reading that new book "He's just not that into you!" and I'm crying!

The man and woman who wrote that book laid it out ... black and white. I'll be reading it again when it hits the library.

I know how much it hurts to have feelings for someone and they aren't returned. Majorly messes with life.

boop64132

hope,
Im so glad you havent picked up that drink! It shows you are strong willed.
Keep the faith my dear friend...love will find you when you least expect it and it will be someone who will love you back.

sunshine04

Hope,
There is a reason God puts us in the situations that we find ourselves. You must start by caring for yourself. Everything will fall into place for you. Good Luck.

Love ya